If you’re going through a contested divorce, and are unable to come to an agreement with your spouse, who are you going to leave the decision making up to? The judge?
If you’ve attempted to resolve the outstanding issues in your divorce with your spouse, and have been unable to come to a full resolution, now’s the time to balance your risk at trial. The plain truth is the judge doesn’t know what you know about your life. The judge doesn’t care as much as you do about your family. And the judge has little time to hear the smallest of details of your life. Leaving your life’s most important decisions to the judge may be unwise.
What are your options? Compromise. But what does that mean to you? It doesn’t mean give in to all of your spouse’s demands. But compromise does mean to come to an agreement by mutual concession. You need to be willing to meet in the middle by finding a resolution between your demands and your spouse’s demands. You may need to reduce your demands or change your opinion on what you believe is a fair resolution in order to reach an agreement. And ask yourself, can you live with the terms your spouse is offering? Are the terms an equitable and fair resolution of your divorce issues? It’s not about either of you walking away “happy” but walking away being able to live with the deal.
Our family law judges are overworked and have little time to dedicate to each case. They don’t know your family, and the needs of your family like you and your spouse do. And they will never know the details of your life like you and your spouse do. Compromise is the best course of action, even if you don’t like all of the outcome of your agreement. It’s about being satisfied with the outcome, not thrilled with it.
Before you give the ultimate power to the judge, stop, and consider the outcome you may receive at trial. The outcome may not be in the best interest of you, or your family. Maintain control of your future. Take a look at the issues you and your spouse don’t agree to. Are the outstanding issues really worth going to trial? Or is there still some room for movement on your part? Can you find a compromise?
And perhaps your answer to these questions is there is no more room for movement or compromise, and the judge will need to decide the outcome of your divorce. And if trial is what is necessary in your case, the judge will listen to both you and your spouse and make the decisions for you. Just remember, once you walk into that courtroom, you have relinquished all control of the outcome. Do all that you can do to come to a peaceful resolution outside of court. It most cases, settlement is better than trial.
A GENTLER DIVORCE. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.
Divorce is a painful and emotionally stressful time for everyone. That’s why more couples are turning to the collaborative divorce process. A highly trained team of professionals work together with you to develop a fair, open and child centered resolution. If you want to avoid going to court, reach your own agreement, and promote positive co-parenting post-divorce, the collaborative divorce process may be an alternative for you.
Laurie K. Schmitt, founder of Schmitt Law, PLLC, is an Attorney, Mediator, and Collaborative Divorce lawyer. When possible, she guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.
Contact Laurie online or by calling (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation to discuss the collaborative divorce process and how it can benefit you. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.
