How should you tell your spouse you want a divorce? Of course, this varies from person to person. And only you really know the right way and time to have this discussion with your spouse. But…
When you tell your spouse you’re going to file for a divorce, or have already filed for a divorce, it doesn’t need to be conveyed with hostility. In fact, you should respect how this information may be hard for your spouse to hear, and they will need time to process it. Even if you and your spouse have talked about divorce for some time, the fact you have now taken real action may come as a shock or surprise.
So, what should you say to your spouse if you are ready to end the marriage? Only you know how to talk to your spouse, and only you can select the right words.
The following is a guideline on what (or how) to tell your spouse you want a divorce:
I want you to know I have retained an attorney
And I will be (or have) filed for divorce
We are no longer going down the same path
And in both of our best interests (and the best interest of our children), it’s time to part ways
This is not to say we haven’t had some very good times in our marriage
And of course, I loved you and valued our relationship
However, it’s now time that we go our separate ways
Just remember, you set the tone in your divorce process in how you tell your spouse you want a divorce. You can be kind or cruel in this conversation. You have total control of how you want to start your divorce. Starting the process with respect to the years invested in your marriage can go a long way to making your divorce less stressful.
WHEN TO TELL YOUR SPOUSE YOU WANT A DIVORCE
They say timing is everything. Do you tell your spouse before you file for divorce? Do you tell your spouse after you have filed for divorce? Does it really matter when you tell your spouse?
It does matter when you tell your spouse you want a divorce. The notice you are filing or have filed for divorce should come from you first. Divorcing with respect to the marriage, and what this relationship meant to you over the years, doesn’t mean you should blindside your spouse. Don’t let the first time your spouse learns of the divorce filing be when they are served with divorce papers. If you want to set a positive tone for your divorce process, you should be the one to inform your spouse you have filed for divorce. You owe it to your spouse to tell them you have taken action and that they will be served (or mailed) divorce documents.
GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.
If you are contemplating or in the process of a divorce or separation, contact the Michigan divorce attorney, Schmitt Law, PLLC. We understand family law matters often involve complex relationships and dynamics that can enhance decision-making stress. We provide clients with the security to approach these challenges with confidence. Our dedicated attorney will provide clients with individualized attention and strategic case preparation to address all parts of their cases. We invite you to contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.
Our office is located at 401 Hall St. SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.
