It’s a commonplace when you’re fighting for your rights as a parent to have anger and resentment against the other parent. You feel you are being kept away from your child. You feel that everything you do is being held against you. You feel that you are living under a microscope. And most of all, you are scared that you may not be awarded the time you deserve with your child.
Many parents struggle with the feelings you may be going through. However, if you are in a custody battle, the worst thing you can do it let the other parent lure you into making bad decisions that will haunt you. The decisions you make now, may be the very decisions the judge uses against you when they rule on legal and physical custody of your child.
WHAT BAD DECISIONS SHOULD YOU PREVENT?
Don’t take the bait! If you are fighting for your rights as a parent, the following is a short list of behaviors to steer clear of:
- Do not send foul emails or texts to the to the other parent. Two easy rules to remember: (1) communicate effectively with the other parent, or not at all. (2) Always say to yourself, “do I want the judge seeing this text or email?”. If it’s in writing, it may be used against you in court!
- Don’t use your emotions to justify your bad behavior against the other parent. Because the other parent is acting badly does not mean that you need to respond in kind. There are only so many times your attorney can smooth things over with opposing counsel or the judge before all credibility is lost.
- Don’t respond to negative communication. If communication from the other parent does not justify a response, or elicits a negative response from you, then do not respond. If a response is required, then take a step back and respond when you are able to do so appropriately.
ARE YOUR EMOTIONS RUNNING WILD?
Perhaps you should seek counseling or join a support group to help you through this. There is no shame in seeking help from a professional (or getting together in a support group with people going through similar matters). They can help you process and manage your feelings, and manage how you respond to her. The key is when you are upset, say nothing to the other parent. You can respond to them when you see fit (if at all). If your communication to them is filled with anger, and much of it is unnecessary (off topic from your child), then seek help.
Note…the judge will take into consideration how you communicate with the other parent when it comes to their decision about legal custody. How do you want the judge to view you…a good parent who loves their child…or an angry parent seeking revenge.
DOES YOUR BEHAVIOR REQUIRE MODIFICATION?
This question can only be answered by you looking deep within.
At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I want to be effective as your attorney. And to be effective, Schmitt Law, PLLC expects parents to be respectful and appropriate with the other parent. If you are not willing to modify how you address the other parent, I will be completely ineffective in helping you achieve your goals. It is your choice how your custody case moves forward. If you keep in front of you what is really important…your child and your time with them…it would never be a struggle or burden to modify inappropriate behavior. Schmitt Law, PLLC will do my part to fight for you. But what I ask in return is appropriate behavior from my clients.
GRAND RAPIDS CUSTODY ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.
At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.