Whether you’ve chosen to end your marriage, or your spouse decided to file for divorce, it may be difficult to imagine how your life will be after the divorce is finalized. In Divorce Fears – Part Two, we will continue to discuss fears that you and many others encounter while going through your divorce.
THE MARITAL HOME AND CUSTODY
You may be concerned that if you’re unable to keep the marital home in after the divorce, you won’t be able to retain custody of the children. Fear not.
Judges understand that in every divorce, one or both of the parties will be required to relocate. Even if you can’t keep the marital home, it doesn’t reflect on your ability to provide a stable and loving home for your children. If you have to sell the marital home, or your spouse retains it, you can find a new home that will keep your children in the same school district. This would offer stability to your children. And perhaps you find a new home closer to your support structure (friends and family) that can lend assistance to you and your children during this transition period.
LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN
You worry you will lose your daily connection with your children. It’s true you won’t be able to see your children every day. But there are ways to navigate this issue such as zoom, skype, texting, and calls. Even small daily check-in’s can make this transition smoother for you and your children. And know that you and your spouse are experiencing the same fear of not being able to see the children daily after your divorce is finalized. It may feel lonely when you don’t have the children. However, this may be the time to focus on yourself, new friendships, and new interests. And when your children are with you, devote yourself to being the best parent you can be.
FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN
Let’s not forget your children have divorce fears of their own. They may be concerned with who they will live with, if they have to choose between you and your spouse, if they have to attend a new school, if they have to move to a new home, if they have to lose their friends, and if they will still be able to participate in their extracurricular activities.
Your children maybe struggling emotionally, and you need assist them through this process. How can you help them? As parents, it’s our obligation to answer our children’s questions honestly, and age appropriately. This is not to say you should talk to your children about the details of your divorce. But you need to reassure them that you both still love them and are co-parenting to make good decisions on their behalf.
You and your spouse need to set your differences aside, learn to co-parent, and come up with a plan that works for everyone (including your children). This is the time to look out for your children and keep their best interests in mind at all times.
HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES
At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.
