Divorce

After The Affair – Now What?

October 2, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

You find out that your spouse had an affair and you’re now considering filing for divorce. You ask if you should file for a divorce, or what the best time to do so would be. These are impossible questions for an attorney to answer. Attorneys are not qualified to provide such counseling.

However, the following is a quick list of things to take into consideration if you find yourself addressing an affair and possible divorce:

• Have you tried marriage counseling?

• Are you open to marriage counseling?

• What is the length of your marriage?

• Do you want to preserve the marriage?

• Are you just ready to move on?

These are issues that would be best addressed with a trained counselor. And the timing of filing your divorce is completely up to you.

If you’re struggling with the issue of an affair in your marriage, you may need some time to process the information. If you just found out about the affair, you may be very angry and hurt. And it may not be the best time to make a major decision such as filing for a divorce. But you’re in total control of the process – meaning you control the timing of your divorce filing. And note that if you file for divorce, and you and your spouse reconcile, it is a very simple process to dismiss your divorce filing.

In the end, Schmitt Law, PLLC respects your need to have your legal questions answered. You need to know what your options are before you can even think about making a future decision regarding divorce. You need to know what your future will look like before you move forward. Schmitt Law, PLLC encourages you to take the time you need to process the recent events in your life, process the legal information you obtain, and make a decision that is best for you. And if you decide to move forward with a divorce, you do so when you are ready.

Your decision is ultimately yours, and yours alone to make. Know that when are ready, Schmitt Law, PLLC will be here to guide you through the process.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

If you are contemplating or in the process of a divorce or separation, contact the Michigan divorce attorney, Schmitt Law, PLLC. Our office understands that family law matters often involve complex relationships and dynamics that can enhance decision-making stress. We provide clients with the security to approach these challenges with confidence. Our dedicated attorneys will provide clients with individualized attention and strategic case preparation to address all parts of their cases. We invite you to contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

Do You Need To Protect Your Rights As A Parent?

June 29, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

HELP! I just want to see my kids a be a significant part of their lives without interference from the other parent.

You just want to be a parent to your children. However, the other parent does everything they can think of to make your live miserable. It’s as if they just want you to walk away, throw in the towel, and say I won’t see my children any more.

Do you have a current parenting time order that the other parent continually violates?
Are you constantly going back and forth with the other parent fighting to exercise your court ordered parenting time?
Does the other parent schedule activities for the children on your parenting time?
Does the other parent refuse to meet you at exchanges, or are they constantly late?
Does the other parent try and control every aspect of the children’s lives, including what takes place in your household?
Does the other parent attempt to micromanage the decisions you make during your parenting time (what the children will wear, eat, and what activities they will participate in)?
Does the other parent attempt to cut you out of the children’s lives?
Does the other parent fail to keep you informed about medical information as it relates to the children?
Does the other parent fail to keep you informed about school related issues and activities?
Does the other parent make unilateral decisions regarding the children that fall under your joint legal status?
Does the other parent make their own rules, contrary to the court order?
Do you feel that no matter what decisions you make regarding the children, the other parent believes it is not good enough?
Does the other parent disparage you, your significant other, or your family in front and/or directly to the children?
Does the other parent interfere with your holiday parenting time?
Does the other parent dictate the terms of every facet of the children’s lives, without considering your impute?

Are you tired of the stress and anxiety you expend trying to gain rightful access to the children? Do you feel that you get no respect as the children’s parent? Frequently, parents contact Schmitt Law, PLLC frustrated that they are not being allowed to exercise their rights as a parent, or that they could not come to an agreeable parenting time arrangement with the other parent. If you are experiencing issues in your relationship with the other parent, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your rights and options as a parent.

CHILDREN ARE FIRST. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC we understand that the interests of your children always come first. Whatever your situation, Schmitt Law, PLLC is experienced, sympathetic, and willing to help you achieve the best outcome for your entire family. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

What If My Spouse Won’t Cooperate? Can I Still Obtain A Divorce?

June 7, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I hear these phrases daily: My spouse won’t sign for the divorce papers or my spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce. These are classics, and are common concerns expressed by many clients. Don’t fear. You can proceed with your divorce even if your spouse will “not sign the papers”!

CAN I FILE FOR A DIVORCE IF MY SPOUSE WON’T COOPERATE?

Yes, you can seek a divorce with or without your spouse’s permission or participation. You have the right to file for divorce in a court that has jurisdiction over your marriage. Your spouse may be telling you that they will not cooperate and therefore you can’t get a divorce. But, your spouse’s lack of consent or cooperation will delay your divorce, but not prevent it. A contentious divorce may take longer than when parties cooperate. But your divorce will be granted.

DOES MY SPOUSE NEED TO SIGN FOR THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

NO, your spouse will not be required to sign anything when they are served with a complaint for divorce. Once your complaint for divorce is filed with the court, then it must be served on your spouse. This can be done several ways. However, if your spouse is uncooperative from the beginning, the best way to ensure appropriate service is through a process server. The process server need only hand the documents to your spouse. Your spouse does not need to sign for service, nor sign that they have accepted any of the divorce documents.

DO I NEED MY SPOUSE’S SIGNATURE ON ANYTHING TO GET A DIVORCE?

No, you don’t need your spouse’s consent to obtain divorce! If you want to end your marriage, your spouse’s refusal to cooperate will not prevent you from getting your divorce. If you’re worried you will be unable to move forward with your divorce because your spouse will not cooperate, let me ease your mind.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE FAILS TO RESPOND TO THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

Once the complaint for divorce has been served on your spouse, your spouse 21 days to file an answer with the court. If your spouse fails to file an answer in time, a Default can be entered with the court. The process is as follows:

After the time for responding has passed without an answer, a Notice of Default is filed and signed by the Clerk of Court
A copy of the notice of default is mailed to your spouse
A hearing will be set wherein you request to enter a default judgment
You would set a hearing date and send notice to your spouse (including a proposed judgment of divorce).
At the hearing, the judge will review the paperwork you’ve filed, will ask you some questions, and will ultimately issue a ruling on your divorce.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE WON’T SIGN THE JUDGMENT OF DIVORCE?

If your spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce or fails to respond to your complaint for divorce, you can request the court to enter a default judgment of divorce against your spouse.

IN SUMMARY

Your spouse may be saying a lot of things now that you are presenting them with the possibility of a divorce. If you are confused or concerned about what your spouse may be saying about your right or ability to file for divorce and have your divorce granted, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your options and rights.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part 4

May 22, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MOVING

You may be concerned about having to move. You’re concerned about how much it will cost you to move, such as moving expenses, security deposits, and perhaps having to purchase furniture and appliances. During the pendency of the divorce, these are issues that can be approached one at a time. And note, that just because a divorce has been filed doesn’t mean that you will be required to move out of the marital home immediately. So, there will be time to address when you will move out and how you will pay for your move.

As you and your spouse come to an agreement regarding the house, assets, and debts, you can discuss making funds available for the cost of moving out – where the money will come from and what time frame the money will be available. That way, when you are ready to make the move, you have the appropriate funds to do so.

LOSS OF SHARED TRADITIONS

You shared so much in your marriage – so many family and holiday traditions. Your divorce brings a new reality that you have lost someone that you thought was your best friend – your partner in life. And your divorce may mean you lose connection with members of your spouse’s family.

It’s true that divorce can mean a significant change in family and holiday traditions. You may even find you want to make changes to your family and holiday traditions because it’s just too painful to continue the old traditions you shared when you were married. But divorce now allows you the freedom to decide what traditions are important to you and allows you to create new traditions with your family and friends – traditions you can call your own.

PERSONAL FAILURE

Marriages fail for numerous reasons. And no one enters into a marriage contemplating divorce. So, does divorce equal failure? Not at all. The time you spent in your marriage can hardly be looked at as a failure as you loved each other and may have raised a family together.

Whether it was your decision or not, divorce can make us challenge our values. You may feel you let yourself or your family down. You struggle with your own sense of guilt. You think you are not worthy to move forward and seek happiness. You need to say to yourself that the relationship failed, but that doesn’t make you a failure.

Divorce shouldn’t be looked at as a failure, but as a chance to reinvent yourself. Adopt the belief that what’s behind you doesn’t’ define you or your future, and that you should never live life on a pass-fail basis. You didn’t fail, you tried. And hopefully you gave your marriage your all, and then had the courage to let each other go. That’s hardly a failure.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we are here for you each step of the way in your divorce. From planning your first steps, to approaching your separation, to helping you understand your rights, to signing the final documents. We can help you navigate the separation and divorce process. To get started today, book a consultation online or by calling Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you. Our office is located at: 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504

Divorce Fears – Part 2

May 8, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Whether you’ve chosen to end your marriage, or your spouse decided to file for divorce, it may be difficult to imagine how your life will be after the divorce is finalized. In Divorce Fears – Part Two, we will continue to discuss fears that you and many others encounter while going through your divorce.

THE MARITAL HOME AND CUSTODY

You may be concerned that if you’re unable to keep the marital home in after the divorce, you won’t be able to retain custody of the children. Fear not.

Judges understand that in every divorce, one or both of the parties will be required to relocate. Even if you can’t keep the marital home, it doesn’t reflect on your ability to provide a stable and loving home for your children. If you have to sell the marital home, or your spouse retains it, you can find a new home that will keep your children in the same school district. This would offer stability to your children. And perhaps you find a new home closer to your support structure (friends and family) that can lend assistance to you and your children during this transition period.

LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN

You worry you will lose your daily connection with your children. It’s true you won’t be able to see your children every day. But there are ways to navigate this issue such as zoom, skype, texting, and calls. Even small daily check-in’s can make this transition smoother for you and your children. And know that you and your spouse are experiencing the same fear of not being able to see the children daily after your divorce is finalized. It may feel lonely when you don’t have the children. However, this may be the time to focus on yourself, new friendships, and new interests. And when your children are with you, devote yourself to being the best parent you can be.

FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN

Let’s not forget your children have divorce fears of their own. They may be concerned with who they will live with, if they have to choose between you and your spouse, if they have to attend a new school, if they have to move to a new home, if they have to lose their friends, and if they will still be able to participate in their extracurricular activities.

Your children maybe struggling emotionally, and you need assist them through this process. How can you help them? As parents, it’s our obligation to answer our children’s questions honestly, and age appropriately. This is not to say you should talk to your children about the details of your divorce. But you need to reassure them that you both still love them and are co-parenting to make good decisions on their behalf.

You and your spouse need to set your differences aside, learn to co-parent, and come up with a plan that works for everyone (including your children). This is the time to look out for your children and keep their best interests in mind at all times.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part I

May 1, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Divorce is a time of uncertainty. And fear in divorce is a reality and to be expected. You’re about to experience major changes in your life. You wonder what life will be like after your divorce. You fear the unknown. You worry about how your divorce will impact your life moving forward. You worry about how your children will handle your divorce. Even if you and your spouse have agreed to the terms of your divorce, you still worry what you and your children’s future will look like. And you wonder if you will be able to financially survive after your divorce.

Many of these concerns are shared by most people as they end their marriage. So, what are some of the divorce fears you may be encountering? The following are some common divorce fears:

RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

Do you fear you will be required to divide your retirement accounts, and wonder if you will be able to retire as planned? It’s common for you to be concerned about keeping your retirement accounts intact. However, if the money in your retirement account was earned during the marriage, it will be considered marital and will be divided as any other marital asset would be. This can be a setback for your retirement plans, and it may be smart to talk to your financial planner to discuss your options.

FAIR SETTLEMENT

You’re concerned you won’t obtain a fair settlement or fair division of the marital assets. It’s important for you to know that judges make their decisions on equity and fairness. It’s not reality that one party walks out with everything, leaving the other party destitute. Therefore, your fear that you will be left out in the cold is not supported by Michigan law. You will receive a fair and equitable division of the marital estate.

FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

You wonder if you will be able to support yourself after the divorce. Perhaps you’ve been out of the workforce for several years, and have little education or job skills. You ask yourself if you will have to go back to work in order to support yourself. You wonder if you’ll be able to make it on one income. You wonder if it’s a good time to go back to school and so that you can obtain employment that will offer you a better income opportunity. These are very real fears for parties who have been the stay-at-home parent. Once again, there is time while the divorce is ongoing to examine your specific situation and financial needs.

In summary, financial fears during a divorce are very real. You wonder if you can retire on time, or if you will be homeless. Divorce often means that you will have to adjust to living on a smaller budget, that you may have to go back to work, or increase your hours at work. However, it is possible to rebuild your sense of financial security after your divorce and regain your financial freedom.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

My Spouse Just Asked For A Divorce, What Do I Do?

March 20, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Your spouse just asked for a divorce. It may be that you never saw this coming, have been completely blindsided by this news, and are shocked and confused. Or maybe you knew this conversation was coming. Either way, it’s hard to hear your spouse say “I want a divorce”.

Now that the actual “divorce” word has been spoken, you’re not sure what your next step should be. Should you take action? Or, do you wait for your spouse to make the next move? It seems so overwhelming.

WHY SHOULD YOU SEEK A CONSULTATION WITH A DIVORCE ATTORNEY BEFORE YOUR DIVORCE IS EVEN FILED?

If your spouse just informed you that they want a divorce, it’s time for you to take action and seek a consultation with a divorce attorney. You don’t have to be the one to file the divorce. But at this point, you need to understand your rights and obligations as it relates to a divorce.

WHAT SHOULD YOU TALK ABOUT AT THE INTIAL CONSULTATION?

During your consultation you should ask questions about the divorce process and issue that specifically relate to your situation. If you have minor children you need to discuss custody, parenting time, and child support. If you own a home, you need to talk about what will happen with the home. If you have personal property, you need to know how it will be divided. If you have retirement accounts, you need to talk about how these accounts will be divided. If you have a long-term marriage, you want to find out if you are entitled to spousal support (or if you will have an obligation to pay). If you own a business, you should understand how that business interest will be divided.

WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF A CONSULTATION?

With knowledge comes peace of mind. By seeking a consultation with a divorce attorney now, you can obtain answers to your questions before your family, friends, and spouse share their opinions. By seeking a consultation now, you can learn how the divorce process really works, and what possible outcomes you can expect – it can help you understand what will happen and take steps to face it. You do not want to face this challenge alone and should seek legal representation to guide you through the divorce process.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Your Divorce Attorney Cannot Do For You

March 16, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

If you are about to file for divorce, it’s important you to know what your divorce attorney can’t do for you. The following are things your divorce attorney can’t do for you.

CHANGE THE MICHIGAN LAW

Simply put, your divorce attorney doesn’t have a magic wand to change the law as it relates to your divorce case. You may love what position the Michigan law supports, or not. But your divorce attorney can’t change the law.

SPEED UP YOUR CASE

Your divorce attorney can’t change the mandatory waiting period in your divorce case. Michigan law establishes waiting periods depending on the individual circumstances.

If you do not have minor children of the marriage: There is a two-month waiting period after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.
If you have minor children of the marriage: There is a six-month waiting period after the after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.

A Judgment of Divorce cannot be entered earlier than these established times.

ACT UNETHICALLY

When your divorce attorney represents you, they must do so within the applicable parameters of Michigan law. This means your divorce attorney can’t be required to engage in conduct that is illegal, unethical, or fraudulent. If your divorce attorney can’t ethically abide by your requests, they must withdraw from representing you.

TAKE ACTION AGAINST THE BEST INTEREST OF YOUR CHILD(REN)

If your divorce involves minor children, your divorce attorney will refuse to engage in conduct that, in their professional judgment and knowledge of the law, would be contrary to the best interests of Client’s minor child(ren). This means your attorney can’t assert any position or engage in any action that they deem contrary to the minor child(ren)’s best interests.

COMMUNICATE WITH THIRD PARTIES

Your divorce attorney can’t talk to third parties, and must protect information relating to the representation of you from disclosure to third parties. If you wish for your divorce attorney to speak to third parties such as family members, you must provide them with specific consent to do so.

MAKE PROMISES ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF YOUR CASE

Your divorce attorney can’t make any representation to you, nor any assurances as to the favorable or successful resolution of your case. This means your divorce attorney can’t promise you a specific outcome, nor make promises as to the nature or amount of any awards or distributions of property, attorney’s fees, costs, or any other aspect in your divorce. It’s important to note that your divorce attorney can’t promise you particular results as the court has the sole power to decide all issues.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

If you are contemplating or in the process of a divorce or separation, contact the Michigan divorce attorney, Schmitt Law, PLLC. Our office understands that family law matters often involve complex relationships and dynamics that can enhance decision-making stress. We provide clients with the security to approach these challenges with confidence. Our dedicated attorney will provide clients with individualized attention and strategic case preparation to address all parts of their cases. We invite you to contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Divorce

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