Laurie Schmitt Family Law

W. Michigan family law specializing in Collaborative Divorce

616.608.4634

Children

Why Collaborative Divorce Is Kid-Friendly

By

Every divorce process comes with its own set of challenges and benefits, but collaborative divorce offers a more supportive, family-focused approach — especially when children are involved.

From the moment a child learns their parents are separating, they may experience a range of emotions, including confusion, fear and frustration. Fortunately, the collaborative divorce process can help families navigate this transition.

Here are a few ways collaborative divorce can support your child:

  1. Reduces Conflict and Stress: Divorce is often associated with conflict, courtrooms and stress — but it doesn’t have to be. The collaborative process promotes open, respectful dialogue between parents, allowing them to work together in the child’s best interest. By encouraging cooperation, the process reduces conflict and minimizes stress for children.
  2. Promotes Positive Co-Parenting: Seeing their parents work together in a peaceful manner can provide children with a sense of reassurance and stability. Collaborative divorce encourages healthy communication, helping parents build a strong foundation for co-parenting moving forward — so kids can feel secure even as things change.
  3. Access To A Child Specialist: One unique benefit of collaborative divorce is access to trained professionals, including child specialists. These experts help ensure your children’s emotional needs are understood and prioritized, giving them a voice in the process in a healthy, supportive way.
  4. Avoid The Courtroom: Courtrooms can feel intimidating – and even traumatic – for children of any age. Collaborative divorce allows families to meet in a more private, comfortable setting instead of a public courtroom. This more relaxed environment can significantly reduce anxiety and emotional strain for everyone involved.

Divorce is never easy — especially for children. But the way you approach it can make a lasting difference.For more information about collaborative divorce and related family law matters at Schmitt Law PLLC, please contact us here to schedule a consultation or call us directly at 616.608.4634.

Birth Expense Elimination Changes

By

If you are currently dealing with a case, past ruling or upcoming case related to child custody and birth expenses, please review the information below that was recently released by the Kent County Friends of the Court (FOC).

Pursuant to Senate Bill 747, reimbursement of Medicaid-paid pregnancy and birth expenses from fathers on new cases ceased on Oct. 1, 2024. In addition, all outstanding state-owed birth expense arrears will be automatically forgiven on Jan. 1, 2025. 

The FOC also released this info impacting the court and partners of the court:

  • As of Oct. 1, 2024, the Prosecuting Attorney’s Office no longer calculates pregnancy and birth expenses in state-initiated support and paternity cases.
  • The aforementioned expenses will no longer appear in Uniform Child Support Orders of newly filed cases.
  • FOC will not initiate support enforcement action if the paying-party owes only birth expenses and will seek dismissal of all FOC warrants on such cases.
  • The Michigan Office of Child Support (OCS) will eliminate all state-owed pregnancy and birth expenses automatically, through the Michigan Child Support Enforcement System (MiCSES) on Jan. 1, 2025.
  • FOC elected to not have notices filed with the court in all of the impacted court cases (totaling 6,526) for the following reasons:
  1. FOC routinely processes arrears forgiveness on cases, and notices are not filed with the court in these routine instances.
  2. The volume of impacted cases makes filing a notice in every case impracticable and not a responsible use of resources.
  3. OCS will provide FOC a post-implementation report showing how cases were impacted by the forgiveness.

So, what impact will these changes have on parents? State-owed pregnancy and birth expenses will be forgiven for existing support payers and not calculated for new payers. The Michigan Office of Child Support (OCS) will notify all payers (via one-time letter) that the State has forgiven their Medicaid-paid pregnancy and birth expenses. The letter will also explain that this forgiveness does not impact the amount of support or arrears owed to the other parent. All letters will be mailed through Central Print in Lansing and will not come from local FOC offices.

However, recipients of support will not be notified. Per OCS, they will not be notified because the forgiveness will not impact the support they receive, or the support owed to them. There will be no refund of money paid for pregnancy and birth expenses if the payment was made prior to January 1, 2025.All parent inquiries can be directed to the FOC main number (616.632.6888) or email account (FOC.Mail@kentcountymi.gov).

5 Things To Do During A Child Custody Case

By

Divorce is difficult enough, and when children are involved — things become exponentially more difficult. If you are preparing for a child custody case, here are a few things you should do to ensure the best outcome for you and your children.

Navigating a child custody case can raise a number of questions that can overwhelm any parent. From helping your child understand their situation to establishing an agreed upon parenting schedule, it’s easy to get lost in a list of to-do’s when beginning your custody battle.

Here are five things you should do during a child custody case:

  1. Hire An Attorney: Each custody case is different, but one thing is for certain — you do not have to endure it alone. As soon as you know you will be facing a child custody case, contact an experienced attorney to help. Attorneys can provide helpful insight to your situation while helping you prepare for your case and understanding the possible outcomes.
  2. Prioritize Your Child: Remember that your custody case is not a tool to hurt your ex, but a way to help your child maintain structure and ensure they are in their best possible living situation. Take time to put your custody battle aside and spend time with your child and remind them that everything will be okay.
  3. Turn Off Social Media: It can be tempting to use social media as a personal way to vent your frustrations during your custody case, but don’t. Any and all social media posts can be used against you in court and can actually hurt your chances of winning your custody case. Likewise, it is also a good idea to refrain from sending negative text messages to your ex that can be saved for later use.
  4. Watch What You Say: No matter your personal feelings toward your ex, it’s important to watch what you’re saying about them to other people, especially your children. Hearing their parents talk poorly about the other parent can confuse your child and put unnecessary stress on them during this time.
  5. Tell The Truth: When it comes to your child custody case, be honest with your attorney and be honest with the court with everything they ask. Hiding facts or lying about your situation can only hurt your credibility and result in an unfavorable hearing.

For more information about child custody cases from the experts at Schmitt Law, PLLC, please contact us online to arrange a consultation or call us directly at 616.608.4634. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

Social Media or Custody?

By

Social media or custody of your children? Which one do you cherish more?

Child custody cases are difficult for clients. Unfortunately, it is the emotional nature of child custody issues that makes clients’ misuse of social media one of my most challenging issues as an attorney.  I get it. It feels good—even if it’s just for a moment— to blow off steam with a piping hot Facebook post (that doesn’t actually mention the other parent by name, so it’s harmless, right?). And all of those Facebook ‘likes’ on your child custody issue frustrations and woes can feel very validating at a time when you need validation from your friends and family the most.

Child Custody

However, use of social media during your child custody case can be dangerous and foolish.  Here are my top recommendations about use of social media to clients who are going through a child custody dispute:

  1. NEVER slam the other parent on social media. 
  2. Refrain from any and all Facebook updating, commenting, liking, or sharing that can be seen as making a comment on the case or disparaging the other party. You may want to share your true feelings about the case on Facebook. But all it will accomplish will be to heat up an already difficult situation.
  3. Even better advice…stay off Facebook until your case is complete. Don’t use Facebook to share your life with the world while you and your child’s future is pending with the court. It’s simple: if you stay off Facebook, nothing you say, innocent or otherwise, can be used against you, because it’s just not there to be found.
  4. If you decide to stay active on social media during your child custody dispute, remember your social media photos are worth a thousand words. Never post pictures of yourself in bars, drinking alcohol, at parties, and definitely never using illegal substances. What you may see as innocent pictures of a fun night out with friends, are now being shown in court as a way to support the other parent’s effort to depict you as a bad parent.
  5. Social media privacy is an oxymoron. If you think none of this applies to you because you are smart and have your social media accounts set to private, think again. You would be amazed at how many of my clients’ “friends” have been willing to provide their opposing party with access to their “private” social media posts and photos.
  6. If your account is not set to private, the other parent and their attorney is regularly reviewing your activity. And Facebook accounts with photos can be incriminating when they include drugs and drug paraphernalia lying about your house, photos where you are visibly intoxicated, photos that undoubtedly show an adulterous relationship, and volumes of your derogatory comments about the other parent that go directly to your own fitness as a parent.

GOLDEN RULE: If it is on your Facebook account, your judge will see it.

If you are fighting for your children, stay away from Facebook and other social media while your child custody case is ongoing. What you post can be misunderstood and will used against you. Getting through a heated custody case is hard enough. So, before you post that comment or photo on Facebook, remember your end goal: custody of your children.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY.  GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Custody is a sensitive topic in divorce cases. Child custody mediation will put your child first and set you up for a healthy co-parenting relationship. With an experienced attorney and mediator like Laurie Schmitt, you will be able to navigate your new family dynamic with clear understanding and communication. Looking for a professional and experienced family law attorney, contact us online or give us a call at (616) 608-4634. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. At Schmitt Law, PLLC our commitment is to you!

Are You Being A Jerk In Your Communicating With The Other Parent?

By

Are you being respectful in your communications with the other parent? Or are you being a jerk? Is your communication necessary, or just sent to harass the other parent? Do you respond to the other parent’s communications just as badly as they communicate with you?

HOW SHOULD YOU COMMUNICATE?

Communicating with parent

If your relationship with the other parent is contentious, then be smart about how you communicate with them. Limit your communication to texting or a parental app and keep it to essential communication about the children. If you don’t have a legitimate issue regarding the children that must be addressed with the other party, then don’t send the text.

ARE YOUR COMMUNICATIONS SUBJECT TO THE JUDGE’S SCRUTINY?

Be smart. Anything you communicate in writing to the other parent can (and will be) brought into court as evidence and used against you. Before you send your text ask yourself if you would want the judge to see your text. And ask yourself if your text shows you in a flattering or derogatory light to the judge. Offensive and disparaging comments aimed at the other parent will be used to show your lack of fitness as a parent.

HOW SHOULD YOU RESPOND TO COMMUNICATION?

If you are receiving derogatory communication from the other parent, learn to have self-control when you receive a text that upsets you. There’s no law saying you must respond immediately.  In fact, the communication you receive may not require any response at all. Be the bigger person, as nothing is gained by keeping the bantering going. If you engage with the other parent, the judge considers you just as bad as the person who sent the original text. Just remember, inappropriate texts and responses can be used against you in court.

IN SUMMARY

While the other parent may poke at you via text, email, or calls, this is the time for you to dig deep and develop self-control about how and when to interact with the other parent. Take control and learn to select when you will respond, and how you will respond (if at all). Taking back control will lower your anxiety and reduce the back and forth between you and the other parent. And if your case does end up in front of the judge, you have not given the judge anything to hold against you.

LET ME WORRY ABOUT WHAT MATTERS MOST … YOUR FAMILY.  GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

The hallmark of my family law practice is providing you with top quality legal service by being intensely responsive to my clients. I will work hard to protect your rights to your children and property by helping you to secure the best possible outcome to complex legal situations, and giving you your strongest voice in the family law process.

To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634. Our office is located at 411 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

Is Nesting During Your Divorce Right For You?

By

After your divorce has been filed, you and your spouse should discuss your living arrangement. Do you continue living in the marital home together, should one person move out, or is there another alternative?

Many couples getting a divorce can’t move on until final decisions have been made regarding asset division. Often times, couples need to sell the marital home, or receive their share of the equity from the marital home before they can commit to their housing future. 

Collaborative Divorce

As Michigan requires a 6 month wait period before couples with children can complete their divorce, it may be too difficult for parties to remain living in the marital home together for 6 months or more. 

WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?

You and your spouse may consider a nesting arrangement. What is nesting? Nesting is an arrangement wherein the children remain in the home, and you and your spouse take turns living in the marital home. You and your spouse go back and forth, moving between two residences while the children remain stationary in the marital home. 

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF A NESTING ARRANGEMENT?

A nesting arrangement maintains the children’s routine, and providing consistency for the children. It allows the children to stay in the home they are accustomed to, remain in the same school district, and stay near their friends while the divorce is pending.  

WILL NESTING WORK FOR YOU? 

Nesting can be a good alternative for some families and can be a disaster for others. If you and your spouse are involved in an emotionally charged divorce, nesting allows for the parties to have time with the children in the marital home, without the other party being present, and gives the parties space and privacy.

WHAT SHOULD THE NESTING AGREEMENT CONTAIN?

Before engaging in a nesting arrangement, you should obtain a written agreement in advance, addressing the common issues that arise. A written agreement helps the nesting arrangement to go smoothly if your written agreement takes into consideration the following:

• BOUNDARIES/PRIVACY: You and your spouse must clearly establish boundaries by deciding where you and your spouse will sleep when it’s you or your spouse’s turn to stay at the marital home. Often times one party will take the master bedroom, while the other party takes a spare room, or basement. The agreement should also state that each shall refrain from going into the other’s bedroom during their time in the marital home.

• PERSONAL ITEMS: The parties should commit to respecting the other’s personal items remaining in the home.

• BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS:  Typically, a nesting agreement states significant others are prohibited in the marital home during the pendency of the divorce.  After all, should the children be subjected to significant others already?

• FOOD:  You and your spouse should agree as to who will purchase the food, or how will the food expense be divided. 

• MORTGAGE AND UTILITIES:  You and your spouse should agree how the mortgage payment and utility costs will be divided. 

A nesting arrangement works well for many couples, as it allows for each party to have equal parenting time with the children. The largest downfall to a nesting arrangement is that each party must incur additional housing costs, as the nesting arrangement requires both parties to have another place to live during other parent’s time in marital home. This can be a financial burden for some parties. 

And the final question you should ask is will your children be better with a nesting arrangement, or will it be better for your children if one of you move out of the marital home now and establish a residence somewhere else. 

Housing issues while a divorce is ongoing is a difficult challenge and decisions must be considered carefully. If you would like to learn more about nesting, contact SCHMITT LAW, PLLC.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.  To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online here to arrange a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

How Do You Handle Long Distance Parenting Time?

By

What happens when you and the other parent live a long distance from each other? How do you handle parenting time? If you and the other parent live far apart, creativity in a parenting time schedule is a must. You should consider longer periods of parenting time verses a standard schedule. The frequency and duration of the visits depends on the child’s age and needs, as well as what works for the parents.

PARENTING TIME SCHEDULES TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU LIVE FAR APART:

Long distance co parenting
  • Every other weekend: if you live close enough to make this parenting time schedule practical.
  • Extended time during school breaks such as Thanksgiving weekend, Christmas break, spring break, winter break, and mid-winter break.
  • Thanksgiving break: you can alternate who gets Thanksgiving break every year or split the holiday between each of you
  • Christmas break: you can split the holiday, and alternate them every year or have the same split every year
  • Three-day weekends: given to the noncustodial parent when available in the child’s school schedule 
  • Summer parenting time: this is a perfect opportunity for the non-custodial parent to be given an opportunity to have extended parenting time that would not interfere with your child’s school schedule. You could consider a two-week rotating schedule, or one half of the summer with you and one half of the summer with the other parent. Of course, this may depend on the distance you live from one another, the cost of travel, and the age of your child (younger children may not fare well with a longer period of parenting time).

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE EXCHANGE?

Options for exchange when parents live far apart may include:

  • The other parent handling all of the driving to and from your house (if you are the custodial parent)
  • You and the other parent meeting halfway
  • Flying your minor child. Note, airlines have restrictions about children flying unaccompanied and each airline has different restrictions. If flying is required, you should have a general understanding of the restrictions (and what is entailed) before you enter into a parenting time schedule that requires air travel.

WHO PAYS FOR THE TRAVEL EXPENSE?

You and the other parent must also agree on the cost of travel. Are each of you responsible for your share of the travel? Do you need to book flights for the child? Are you to share in the flight cost or the cost of gas? 

Options for travel expense when parents live far apart may include:

  • Each of you pay equally for the travel expense
  • One party pays for all of the travel (if they moved out of state causing travel to be necessary)
  • The cost is divided based on specific parenting time such as one party always pays for travel for summer or specific holidays. 
  • The expense is divided disproportionately based off of ability to pay, income, or some other agreement 

What’s important to remember when you and the other parent are creating a long-distance parenting time plan, you need to agree on a schedule you can follow, understand what it is that each of you have agreed to, and follow through with the schedule. 

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY.  GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY. 

Custody is a sensitive topic in divorce cases. Child custody mediation will put your child first and set you up for a healthy co-parenting relationship. With an experienced attorney and mediator like Laurie Schmitt, you will be able to navigate your new family dynamic with clear understanding and communication. Looking for a professional and experienced family law attorney, contact us online or give us a call at (616) 608-4634. At Schmitt Law, PLLC our commitment is to you! Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

What Should You Consider When Creating A Parenting Time Plan?

By

Parenting Time Plan

It’s always best when you and the other parent work together to develop a parenting time plan that meet’s your family’s needs.  The court can make decisions about parenting time, but you and the other parent know more about your family’s needs than the judge. If you and the other parent are working to create a parenting time plan, what should you consider?

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

  • The age and developmental stage of your child. Of course, a schedule for an infant will be very different than a schedule for a teenager.
  • If your child is in school: Which parent can accommodate the needs of your child? Who can drop off and pick up from school? Who can assist the child in getting their homework completed? Who will make sure the child gets to school on time? What parent can provide a consistent weekday school schedule for the child?
  • Extra-curricular activities: which parent can provide transportation to and from these activities? Which parent will ensure the child is ready and at their activity on time?
  • Consider each of your work schedules. It makes no sense to agree on a parenting time plan that one or neither of you can actually do. Even though you may both want a schedule as close to 50/50 as possible, it may not be practical. 
  • How will transportation be handled? Where will parenting time exchanges take place?  Will you meet half way at a neutral location? Or will the exchanges take place at your homes?
  • How will your child get to and from school? Are there buses available from each of your homes? Will you or the other parent be available for drop off and pick up from school?
  • Days off from school or daycare. What will happen if school or daycare is closed or not available? 
  • What happens if your child is ill and can’t attend school or daycare? Who will be responsible to stay home with your child or take off from work to provide care, especially if parenting time exchanges occur before or after the school/workday? A plan needs to be in place.
  • How will you share the holidays? You need to have a specific holiday schedule in your order in the event you no longer agree on holiday parenting time. You and the other parent may divide the holidays as you please. But, if you are unable to agree as to the division of holidays, you have the fallback plan in place (the court order specifically listing the holidays and how they will be divided).

Once you and the other parent have agreed to the terms of your parenting time plan, your agreement must be reduced to an order, and signed by the judge. This order will be enforceable by the court and Friend of the Court if it is specific and includes days and times for parenting time. 

If you and the other parent seek to have your parenting time schedule have a lot of flexibility, and want parenting time to be “as agreed upon by the parties” or “reasonable parenting time”, then know that these orders would not be enforceable by the court or Friend of the Court (as they are too vague). If you want to have flexibility, but have your order be enforceable, consider using language such as parents will exercise parenting time as agreed upon by the parties. In the event they do not agree, parenting time will be [insert specific parenting time schedule, including times and locations for exchange].

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE – THE LITIGATION ALTERNATIVE

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Divorce is a stressful and difficult process. That’s why more couples are turning to the collaborative divorce process. A highly trained team of professionals work together with you to develop a fair, open and child centered resolution. If you want to avoid going to court, reach your own agreement, and promote positive co-parenting post-divorce, the collaborative divorce process may be an alternative for you. 

Laurie K. Schmitt, founder of Schmitt Law, PLLC, is an Attorney, Mediator, and Collaborative Divorce lawyer. When possible, she guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. Contact Laurie online or by calling (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation to discuss the collaborative divorce process and how it can benefit you.

Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.