Parenting

Is It Time To Revisit Your Parenting Time Plan?

October 27, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

It may have been years since your last order establishing parenting time was entered by the court. The children are getting older, and/or things have changed in your life, and your parenting time plan no longer makes sense for the children or for you. If this is the case, it may be time to revisit your parenting time plan.

When you originally established your parenting time plan, the children were younger. Now, they may be in high school, may be driving, may have part time jobs, or may be involved in extra-curricular activities. And your parenting time plan does not account for these changes in life.

Perhaps when your order for parenting time was entered, your situation was different than it is now, and you are in a better place to exercise more parenting time. Or, you or your ex have moved, and your existing parenting time plan does not work for either of you or the children.

Or, you and your ex have voluntarily been deviating from your original order, and you want a new order that reflects these changes.

If you and your ex are able to agree on a new parenting time plan, you can enter into a stipulated order (an order in which both parents agree to the terms). It is then signed by the judge, and replaces the original order. If you are not able to agree, parents have the right to request the court to change their parenting time orders, if it is in the best interest of the children.

If you have questions about your right to request the court to make changes to your existing parenting time order, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC.

EXPERIENCED CUSTODY ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that parenting time issues can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable parenting time settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or, contact us online to arrange a consultation.

The Importance of Preserving a Relationship With Your Former Spouse When There Are Children

July 20, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Can preserving a relationship with your former spouse even be accomplished? Yes, it can, and successfully.

Why is it important to preserve a relationship with your former spouse? So that you can raise emotionally healthy children.

How do I go about preserving a relationship with someone I divorced? After all, we are divorced for a reason. The following are common sense ideas on how and why you should preserve your relationship with your former spouse:

Would you really speak to someone at your dentist’s office the way you speak to your former spouse? Act as if you are interacting with someone in a business relationship – be cordial and polite. I didn’t say it’s required to respect your former spouse. But you can interact with them in an appropriate way.
Don’t let your former spouse push your buttons, nor should you push theirs. It’s true that there is no better person to know how to get us angry in a second. However, it will serve no greater good in the long run to engage in negative back-and-forth behavior. It’s time to move from the past and make a paradigm shift…that we need to be good people to raise good children.
Be a good role model for your children…yes, they are watching and listening to both of you.
Why must everything a battle? Learn to compromise.
Don’t let significant others or spouses get in the way of maintaining a positive relationship with your former spouse. It will benefit your current relationship if you reduce the friction with your former spouse. Who wants to go on date night and listen to you spend the entire evening complaining about your former spouse.
Yes, there will be different rules and lifestyles at your former spouse’s home then you may have at your home. Accept that you do not have control or influence on how your former spouse lives, nor how they raise the children during their parenting time.
Try and respect the decisions your former spouse makes regarding the children during their parenting time. If it benefits the children, then support the decision.

To summarize, if you maintain a civil relationship with your former spouse, the children will be the winners. It’s important to look into the future and know that children grow up and become adults. If you create a healthy relationship with your former spouse now while the children are young, there is a greater likelihood that your children will want both of you at their extracurricular events, their high school graduation, their college graduation, and their wedding.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Child Custody – The Best Interest Factors

July 13, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Child custody and parenting time can be two of the most difficult issues to address for parents who are divorcing, or unmarried parents.

It’s important that parents understand that custody and parenting time decisions are determined by the judge. In making a ruling on custody and parenting time, the judge is concerned with what is in the best interest of the children, and will review the best interest factors.

The following are the best interest factors with sample questions under each factor. These questions will provide you with an idea of what the judge is reviewing under each factor.

1. The love, affection and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child. (A)

To whom is the child more closely bonded?
When the child has a problem, to whom does the child speak?
When the child has a triumph, to whom does the child speak?
Who spends more hours per day with the child?
Who prepares the child’s meals?
Who has the ability to separate the child’s needs from their own and to empathize with the child?
To whom does the child openly show signs
How does the child relate to each parent?

2. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any. (B)

Who bathes and dresses the child?
Who stays home from work when the child is sick?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in academic affairs?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in extracurricular activities?
Who disciplines the child?
Who uses preferable discipline techniques?
Who has preference because of the other’s verbal abuse, substance abuse, or arrest record?
Who has preference because of the ability to provide the child access to an?
extended family?
Who has been most consistent in the guidance of the child as it relates to their education and faith?

3. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care, and other material needs. (C)

Who buys the groceries, plans and cooks the meals?
Who makes purchases for the child?
Who attends to special needs of the child?
Who has greater earning capacity?Who adjusts working hours based on the needs of the child?
Who has certainty of future income?
Who has the ability to provide insurance for the child?
Who attends classes for professional involvement?
Who has requisite knowledge to meet the needs of the child?
Who has kept up vaccinations and daily hygiene?
Who schedules and takes the child to medical appointments?
Who schedules and takes the child to dental appointments?
Who arranges for and supervises child care?

4. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity. (D)

Who has provided the greatest sense of stability of residence for the child?
Who is more likely to provide stability in the future?
Who can provide a safe environment?
Who can provide continuity of the child’s overall custodial environment?

5. The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes. (E)

In whose custody will the family unit not be split?

6. The moral fitness of the parties involved. (F)

Here, the focus is not to punish a parent. Rather, it is on the effect the parties’ behavior has had, or will continue to have on the child, and how the individual functions as a parent. For example:
Who has priority as a result of the other party having an extramarital affair known by the children?
Has either party engaged in any of the following conduct:
Verbal abuse
Drinking problem
Poor driving record
Physical or sexual abuse of the child
Other illegal or offensive behaviors.

7. The mental and physical health of the parties involved. (G)

Does either party have a physical or mental health problem that significantly interferes with the ability to safeguard the child’s health and well-being?
Age of contestant compared to age of the child—would energies of the child overwhelm the contestant?

8. The home, school, and community record of the child. (H)

Who can provide leadership to attend school?
Who can provide leadership in extracurricular activity participation?
Who is actively involved in school conferences, transportation, and attendance at school events?
Who can more adequately assist reducing the necessity for other agency involvement (the juvenile court, the DHS), or if another agency is involved, who can cooperate more fully?
Who can more adequately assure the child’s access to friends and peers useful for the child’s development?
Who can more adequately plan and supervise the child’s undertaking of home responsibilities that are appropriate to the child’s age and circumstances?
Who takes responsibility for completion of school assignments?

9. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference. (I)

This is relevant only if the child appears mature enough and capable of expressing with whom they prefer living, absent the product of manipulation or coercion.

10. The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent or the child and the parents. (J)

Who can best cooperate with an appropriate parenting time schedule by the other party? Who is least likely to disparage the other parent in the presence of the child based upon past performance?
Has either party actively sought to alienate the child from the other parent?

11. Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child. (K)

Have there been incidents of violence in the home by any party against any party? If so, has there been a police report, arrest or conviction? Has there been a pattern of violence whether reported or not reported?

12. Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child (L)

Who can most likely address the special needs of the child?
Has either parent threatened to kidnap the child?
Does either parent spend excessive time traveling for the child?
Does either parent have a record of failure to exercise parenting time, failure to notify, or failure to return the child?
Who has responsibility for the actual and proposed child care arrangements?

CUSTODY ATTORNEY

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Holiday Parenting Time

October 18, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

Once again, the holidays are fast approaching. Children of separated or divorced families often find themselves in a difficult position…. torn with loyalties. Children grow up fast. Divorce can make the holidays difficult for both parents and children. Parents should shift their focus on building great holiday memories for the children to look back on.

Do: encourage your children to have a wonderful time at the other parent’s home
Don’t: make your children feel bad about wanting to spend time with the other parent during the holidays

Do: provide your children the opportunity to speak to the other parent (text, phone, skype) if it is geographically impossible for the children to spend time with the other parent
Don’t: grill your children when they return home from the other parent’s home

Do: give your children the time to spend with their siblings and step-siblings
Don’t: try to compete with the other parent for the children’s attention

Do: do allow the children to call their grandparents (from the other parent)
Don’t: make holiday gift giving a competition

Schedule a consultation

Do: allow the children to take their gifts to the other parent’s home
Don’t: don’t purchase the children’s gifts that you know the other parent would be extremely opposed to

Do: allow the children to come up with new holiday traditions
Don’t: dwell on old traditions (“when we were a happy family”)

Do: allow the children to attend school and church holiday functions, even when they fall on your parenting time
Don’t: ask the children to choose who had the better holiday, it’s not a competition

Do: understand that your children may be struggling with their loyalties and validate their feelings
Don’t: introduce new significant others to the children. The holidays are not the appropriate time to introduce the children to your new significant others as the focus should be on their time with you.

Do: be respectful with the other parent’s holiday time by exchanging the children on time and at the designated location
Don’t: purchase the children a gift that will be a financial burden to the other parent (unless you have discussed it with the other parent and agreed on the purchase)

Do: respect the other parent’s religious observations, or lack thereof, when you are talking to the children – if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all!
Don’t: over plan every minute of your holiday parenting time, to include spending the entire holiday parenting time traveling to see extended family

Do: understand that your children are older than you think they are, have friends, and are growing more independent…they may want to spend time with their friends over their holiday breaks
Don’t: argue with the other parent about holiday plans in front of the children

For assistance with your divorce and to develop a fair and equitable plan for holiday parenting time, contact me, Laurie Schmitt, at Schmitt Law, PLLC. I am an Attorney, Mediator, and Collaborative Divorce lawyer.

Parenting

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