Custody

Violating The Terms of Your Custody Order

August 12, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

IT’S NOT VOLUNTARY TO FOLLOW THE TERMS OF A CUSTODY ORDER

No parent has the right to violate the term of their custody order. If you believe the terms of your custody order is no longer in the best interest of your child, then take action and ask the court to change the custody order. Ask the judge for relief before you make a unilateral decision to violate the terms of your custody order. It’s much easier to ask permission from the court then to beg for forgiveness of the court.

Just remember, judges do not look favorably at parents who take matters into their own hands and take actions that are contrary to their court orders. So, before you make decisions that conflict with the terms of your custody order, consider the consequences.

WHAT IS CONSIDERED A VIOLATION OF A CUSTODY ORDER?

Refusing to exchange the child on time.
Refusing the other parent their court awarded parenting time.
Refusing to return the child after your parenting time has ended.
Refusing to follow the rules of joint legal custody. If you share joint legal custody you must consult with the other parent and attempt to agree before major decisions are made affecting the minor child’s education, enrichment activities, camp, travel, and medical problems.
Taking action to prohibit the other parent from accessing school, psychological, dental, and medical records.
Any other action that contradicts specific terms of your custody order.

WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO ME IF I VIOLATE A CUSTODY ORDER

If you violate your custody order and are found in contempt of court, you would be subject to sanctions such as:

Being ordered to pay a fine to the court
Being ordered to give the other parent makeup parenting time
Jail

It the worst violations, or repeated violations, the court could consider a change in custody and/or parenting time.

WHAT IF THERE IS AN EMERGENCY THAT REQUIRES ME TO VIOLATE THE TERMS OF MY CUSTODY ORDER?

The court has a process to address true emergencies. They are called ex parte motions.

If an emergency has arisen, and you believe an immediate change in parenting time is required, then file an ex parte motion and request the judge for the specific relief that will temporarily protect the children. Filing an ex parte motion can be achieved quickly, so there is no need to violate your custody order. Once again, ask the court for relief before you violate the terms of your custody order, not after.

CUSTODY ATTORNEY

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.

Child Custody – The Best Interest Factors

July 13, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Child custody and parenting time can be two of the most difficult issues to address for parents who are divorcing, or unmarried parents.

It’s important that parents understand that custody and parenting time decisions are determined by the judge. In making a ruling on custody and parenting time, the judge is concerned with what is in the best interest of the children, and will review the best interest factors.

The following are the best interest factors with sample questions under each factor. These questions will provide you with an idea of what the judge is reviewing under each factor.

1. The love, affection and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child. (A)

To whom is the child more closely bonded?
When the child has a problem, to whom does the child speak?
When the child has a triumph, to whom does the child speak?
Who spends more hours per day with the child?
Who prepares the child’s meals?
Who has the ability to separate the child’s needs from their own and to empathize with the child?
To whom does the child openly show signs
How does the child relate to each parent?

2. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any. (B)

Who bathes and dresses the child?
Who stays home from work when the child is sick?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in academic affairs?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in extracurricular activities?
Who disciplines the child?
Who uses preferable discipline techniques?
Who has preference because of the other’s verbal abuse, substance abuse, or arrest record?
Who has preference because of the ability to provide the child access to an?
extended family?
Who has been most consistent in the guidance of the child as it relates to their education and faith?

3. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care, and other material needs. (C)

Who buys the groceries, plans and cooks the meals?
Who makes purchases for the child?
Who attends to special needs of the child?
Who has greater earning capacity?Who adjusts working hours based on the needs of the child?
Who has certainty of future income?
Who has the ability to provide insurance for the child?
Who attends classes for professional involvement?
Who has requisite knowledge to meet the needs of the child?
Who has kept up vaccinations and daily hygiene?
Who schedules and takes the child to medical appointments?
Who schedules and takes the child to dental appointments?
Who arranges for and supervises child care?

4. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity. (D)

Who has provided the greatest sense of stability of residence for the child?
Who is more likely to provide stability in the future?
Who can provide a safe environment?
Who can provide continuity of the child’s overall custodial environment?

5. The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes. (E)

In whose custody will the family unit not be split?

6. The moral fitness of the parties involved. (F)

Here, the focus is not to punish a parent. Rather, it is on the effect the parties’ behavior has had, or will continue to have on the child, and how the individual functions as a parent. For example:
Who has priority as a result of the other party having an extramarital affair known by the children?
Has either party engaged in any of the following conduct:
Verbal abuse
Drinking problem
Poor driving record
Physical or sexual abuse of the child
Other illegal or offensive behaviors.

7. The mental and physical health of the parties involved. (G)

Does either party have a physical or mental health problem that significantly interferes with the ability to safeguard the child’s health and well-being?
Age of contestant compared to age of the child—would energies of the child overwhelm the contestant?

8. The home, school, and community record of the child. (H)

Who can provide leadership to attend school?
Who can provide leadership in extracurricular activity participation?
Who is actively involved in school conferences, transportation, and attendance at school events?
Who can more adequately assist reducing the necessity for other agency involvement (the juvenile court, the DHS), or if another agency is involved, who can cooperate more fully?
Who can more adequately assure the child’s access to friends and peers useful for the child’s development?
Who can more adequately plan and supervise the child’s undertaking of home responsibilities that are appropriate to the child’s age and circumstances?
Who takes responsibility for completion of school assignments?

9. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference. (I)

This is relevant only if the child appears mature enough and capable of expressing with whom they prefer living, absent the product of manipulation or coercion.

10. The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent or the child and the parents. (J)

Who can best cooperate with an appropriate parenting time schedule by the other party? Who is least likely to disparage the other parent in the presence of the child based upon past performance?
Has either party actively sought to alienate the child from the other parent?

11. Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child. (K)

Have there been incidents of violence in the home by any party against any party? If so, has there been a police report, arrest or conviction? Has there been a pattern of violence whether reported or not reported?

12. Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child (L)

Who can most likely address the special needs of the child?
Has either parent threatened to kidnap the child?
Does either parent spend excessive time traveling for the child?
Does either parent have a record of failure to exercise parenting time, failure to notify, or failure to return the child?
Who has responsibility for the actual and proposed child care arrangements?

CUSTODY ATTORNEY

How To Prepare For a Custody Mediation

March 24, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

All family law cases are difficult. However, custody cases can be the most challenging for parents. Whether your case is a divorce, child custody, parenting time, or child support case, Mediation offers a less stressful option for couples.

In Mediation, the parties and their attorneys meet with a neutral third party who will assist you in coming to an agreement that is fair and equitable.

Before you attend Mediation, it is important for you and your attorney to prepare. It is also imperative that both the client and attorney have a shared understanding of what outcome the client desires through the Mediation process.

As this is a difficult time for the client, it is normal to have questions and concerns about the process and outcome. At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we sit down with every client prior to mediation and discuss our strategy. This allows us to be “on the same page” with the client when we attend Mediation.

The following is a checklist that Schmitt Law, PLLC reviews with all clients prior to attending a custody Mediation.

Make sure you have provided copies of all relevant documents to your attorney so that they can have the necessary documents available for mediation.
What type of legal custody are you seeking? Joint or sole?
What type of physical custody are you seeking? Joint or sole?
What parenting time schedule are you seeking? Does your work schedule allow you to exercise parenting time on the schedule you are seeking? Do you have daycare available if needed?
What holiday schedule are you seeking? The following are the major holidays that Schmitt Law, PLLC typically requests: New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Child’s birthday, Spring Break, Christmas break, Mother’s or Father’s Day, and any other day important to the client.
What type of telephone contact are you seeking? What days of the week, what time of the day, and for what length of time?
Who will provide transportation for pick up and return of the children?
Who will claim the child as a dependent under City, State and Federal Taxes?
What happens if one or both of the parties require a change in their parenting time schedule?

And through the mediation process, be sure to put your child’s needs first – prioritize what is best for the child, and what is best for their day-to-day routine. When you place the child first, much of the decisions to follow become easy to make.

Experienced Michigan Child Custody Attorney

Laurie Schmitt at Schmitt Law, PLLC is experienced in family law cases involving visitation and custody. Over the years, I have successfully represented hundreds of clients in complicated cases. For skilled legal guidance, please call Laurie at Schmitt Law, PLC at (616) 608-4634, or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Are The Rights of Unmarried Parents?

March 14, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Common concerns for unmarried parents are custody, parenting time, and child support. If parents are not married, how do they go about establishing custody, parenting time, and child support? These issues are often complicated. But when parents are unmarried, establishing custody, parenting time, and child support can be even more problematic.

The first thing to know is that when a child is born out of wedlock, sole legal custody and sole physical custody is automatically awarded to the mother. This means the mother has complete authority to make all decisions regarding the child to include where the child will live, where the child will go to school, health care decisions, and extracurricular decisions.

The award of custody to the mother does not change until the father of the child takes action to establish his rights. In order for the father to establish custody, parenting time, and child support, parentage must be established.

Parentage can be established through an affidavit of parentage. This may be signed by the parties at the time of birth of the child, or any time afterwards.

If an affidavit of parentage was not signed, then the father must establish his rights to the child through a DNA test. Either party may file a petition to establish paternity (mother of child, someone identified as the father, or someone who believes he is the father).

The court then grants either party an order requiring the father, mother, and minor child to complete a DNA test. After a valid DNA test has been completed, and the results deem a specific man to the father, then the father can request the court to establish his rights to the child (custody, parenting time, and child support).

If the father does not believe a paternity test is necessary, then he must seek to have the court enter an order of filiation. An order of filiation is a court order declaring a man to be the biological father of a child born outside a marriage. Once an order of filiation has been entered by the court, the court now has jurisdiction to decide the matters of custody, parenting time, and child support on behalf of the father.

It is important to note that once the father is legally deemed the father of the child, he will now be financially responsible to provide for the child in the form of child support.

As the father of a child born outside of a marriage, it is critical to take action immediately. Each passing day means you and your child will not receive time together to establish an important parent-child bond. As the mother of a child born outside of marriage, each passing day means you and your child will not receive the financial support you deserve.

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS – WE CAN HELP

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. We know your legal issues are unique and special. Call us, we will listen. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

The DOs and DON’Ts During Your Child Custody Dispute

July 19, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

I don’t know if anyone is ever comfortable with the idea of “fighting” over their children, but child custody disputes are the most common and difficult—both emotionally and from a legal standpoint—areas of conflict that I see in my West Michigan family law practice.

What do you do if you are one of those parents, and you find yourself on the brink of what feels like an emotional war over your kids. Or, what if it’s already turned nasty, and everything you do seems to be getting back to the judge?

Begin by asking yourself: what type of parent do you believe you are? Would a judge think you were a good parent if they could see your behavior, even outside of the courtroom, during the case? Do your decisions reflect a parent that puts the needs of their children ahead of themselves? It’s important to understand that your day-to-day actions and words—whether done and said in the heat of an emotional conversation with ex or not— will make their way to the judge if your case goes to trial. And if you are reading this and thinking this won’t happen in your specific situation, I implore you to think again.

Emotions and feelings of betrayal or entitlement aside, you need to understand what any judge hearing your child custody case will be concerned with.

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Judges are concerned with the “moral fitness” or character of the person standing in front of them and that person’s ability to make good decisions as a parent. Yes, that means that whether you like it or not, or you think it is fair or not, your judge will use the evidence that is presented to her in your trial as the basis of determining your character. That means your judge is tasked by the law to make their best decision about who are you as a parent, and whether you truly put your kids’ best interests first, without the benefit of having seen who you may have been before you found yourself in this awful situation. So what do you do to ensure that your judge sees you in the light you see yourself as your children’s parent? Here are some DOs and DON’Ts I recommend to my own clients to help them prevail in their child custody cases:

1. DO stay active with your children’s education, regardless of where your kids are currently staying during the school week.

Attend all parent/teacher conferences, and stay in weekly contact with your kids’ teachers through email, by telephone or in person.
Be proactive about addressing issues your children may be having in school.
Make it a priority to attend all of your kids’ extracurricular activities, even if that’s something you and your ex used to divide and conquer. It’s a whole new world during a child custody dispute, and your focus should be on the importance of your kids’ education and development.

2. DO get your kids counseling, even even if it’s just a few sessions with a therapist who can help them work through their new realities.

Every child copes with change in his own way. Even if you think your children are handling things well, every child in the middle of a custody war between two adults they probably love benefits from having a neutral third party they can talk to about their feelings. Your children need to feel safe while this process is ongoing. And remember, your children feel your anxiety and frustration, even when you don’t think they are paying attention, take care of their mental health.

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3. DON’T date during your divorce!

Instead, DO focus on your kids because it shows the court that you are placing the children’s needs ahead of your own.
But what if I really, really need to date? I am going to restate what I just said, in case you skipped over it to get to this section: DON’T date during your divorce. However, if you do choose to date,
DON’T introduce the children to your significant others. Be mindful that your children are struggling emotionally with the breakup of the family. If your significant other is important to you, and there is a genuine chance that they are going to remain in your life after the case, then they will understand that there will be a more appropriate time in the future for you to introduce them to your children.
That definitely means DON’T have your significant other spend the night when you have your kids!
DON’T spend the night away from home unless it is for business (and if it is for business, DO keep documentation). Staying the night away from home can show, once again, that your needs come before your children’s. And, it can be misread as a possible affair.
Even if you were never married to the other parent and are in the middle of a child custody battle, take note. Having multiple new people in and out of the children’s lives is not going to be viewed as healthy or appropriate by your judge. So, DON’T do it.

4. DON’T use social media. For more insights into why I think my clients are best served taking a social media break during a child custody case, see a recent post I wrote on this very topic.

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5. DON’T be insane!

That means DON’T engage in name calling, arguing, or using foul language in front of your kids. They’re already dealing with enough. Your inappropriate behavior toward your children’s other parent— in front of your children no less— demonstrates a lack of discretion, and it places your children on the front line of the war.
DON’T be insane in your written communications, either.
DO make sure that all verbal and written communication to the other parent is relevant to your children.
DO remember: Anything you put in writing can and will show up in court. If you send it, the judge may read it.
DO ask yourself before you hit send: Is what I am saying in this email or text really how I want the judge to see me? If the answer isn’t a resounding ‘YES’, delete it.
DON’T disparage your kids’ other parent in front of them.
Instead, DO focus your activities around your kids when they are with you.
DON’T spend what should be quality time with your children making sarcastic comments about your ex to them, or to others in front of them. By doing so, you may be unintentionally making your kids feel like they have to take sides on which parent they like more.
I’m guessing none of you really wanted things to go this way, but your kids are the ones with the least control in these situations, so DON’T add to their stress by making them feel like they are the frayed rope in an angry game of tug-of-war.
DON’T stalk, harass, or repeatedly call your ex. The last thing you need to have happen is the judge to call your mental health into question. And engaging those types of behaviors will certainly give the judge cause to ponder your character as a person and as a fit parent.
DON’T fight at encounters or exchanges. You are there to drop off or pick up your children, not to engage in battle with the other parent. And if you are having issues with the other parent’s behavior at exchanges, DO document the exchanges via video.

6. DO continue taking your kids to church if that’s what you’ve done historically.

DO feel free to enroll them in church-related activities that are age appropriate.
However, if you and your children have no history of church attendance prior to the custody case, DON’T use your new-found interest in church as a reason to try to prohibit the other parent from weekend parenting time.

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This might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised:

7. DON’T do anything illegal.

DON’T get arrested. Really, if you can’t stop yourself from doing things that could during your child custody case, why would the judge have any reason to believe you should be the parent who is awarded custody?
DON’T even risk the seemingly “silly little things” like driving without a license.
If your license has been revoked or suspended, DON’T drive. Doing so shows complete disregard for the law. Judges don’t like that.
DON’T use drugs and/or alcohol.
You may be required by the court to take a drug screen.If the other party has alleged that you have a history of illegal drug use—DO voluntarily obtain a drug screen during the case.
And, above all else, DON’T test “dirty” on any mandatory drug screens. That’s a sure way to say ‘goodbye’ to being granted custody of your children.

8. DO behave as though all of your activities are being documented by a private investigator and will be used at trial.

It’s not uncommon for private investigators to be hired in custody cases. Who knows your habits better than your ex? They know where you party. If they are attempting to make you look bad, what better way than to get video footage of you drunk at the bar. And while we are on the topic of bars:

9. DON’T go to bars or nightclubs while your child custody case is ongoing. These types of activities will only make you look bad at trial, as there is no way to spin frequenting bars and acting like a drunk for a judge. Believe it or not, the risks of unintentionally behaving badly after a night at the bar far outweigh the benefits, even though it may not always feel that way.

It may feel like the DON’Ts outnumber the DOs at a point in time in your life when you already probably don’t feel like you have much control. This is when I remind my clients that even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, their child custody case is not going to last forever. Remember:

DO take your kids’ best interests into consideration before you say or do anything during a child custody case. Even if you believe you always have and do to this day, now is the time to be even more diligent. And honestly, your kids need it right now more ever. Custody battles are frustrating and hard. Judges make custody determinations specifically on whom they believe is really going to look out for your children’s best interests.

DO give the judge as many reasons as possible to like you not only as a parent, but also as a person, and to rule in your favor.

Fighting for your children is a hard enough process to go through.

DON’T make choices or mistakes that you could easily avoid. DO everything with the best outcome for your children in mind.

The Difference between Legal and Physical Custody in Michigan

July 19, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

If you’re going through a divorce, or in the midst of a custody battle, it’s important to understand what the custody terms means in Michigan. In Michigan, the courts recognize two types of custody: physical and legal.

PHYSICAL CUSTODY:
Physical custody determines where the children will live and their living arrangements. Custody can be sole or joint. Sole physical custody means physical custody is given to only one parent. The child will primarily reside with that parent, and that parent provides most of the day to day care for the child. Joint physical custody means the parents share custody.

LEGAL CUSTODY:
Legal custody determines who will make important decisions for the children. If sole legal custody is awarded, only one parent has the authority to make these decisions. However, if joint legal custody is awarded, both parties will be involved in making important legal decisions for the child such as where they go to school, what religion they are, if and what extra-curricular activities the child will participate in, and major medical decisions. Joint legal does not depend on the amount of time that the child spends with each parent. No matter what the physical custody is, parents can share joint legal custody of the child.

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Examples of what joint legal custody is as follows:

Each party will foster, encourage and support the relationship between the minor child and the other parent.
The parties will consult together concerning major decisions involving the health, education, religion and welfare of the minor child. Neither party shall enroll the child in a school without agreement of the other or an order of the court.
The parties will both use their best efforts to ensure consistency in matters affecting the upbringing of the minor child and to work together to promote the best interests of the minor child.
Each parent will promptly advise the other of any illness, emergency, or other significant events concerning the minor child (including school or health problems) of which the parent becomes aware.
Each parent will be entitled to complete access to the minor child’s school, medical, psychological, religious and other records.
The parties shall each be entitled to be informed of all parent/teacher conferences and all other activities (including sports) and/or school programs in which the child are involved and parents are invited to attend.
The parties shall each be entitled to copies of the minor child’s report cards, medical records and current school photographs.
Each party shall keep the other party generally informed of his or her whereabouts in the event of an emergency, including their present address, personal telephone number, and any other emergency contact number.
Each party shall decide all routine matters concerning the minor child during such time that he or she has physical custody of or parenting time with the minor child. The parties will each use their best efforts to provide consistency for the child in connection with such routine matters.
Each party shall have the right to make routine emergency decisions regarding the minor child when the child are with him or her.

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DETERMINING THE CHILD’S BEST INTEREST: It’s always best when parents can agree on custody. However, when parents are unable to agree on custody, then the court must decide on custody and parenting time by reviewing the “best interest factors of the child”.

This legal test requires the court to consider these 12 factors:

The love, affection and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.
The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any.
The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care, and other material needs.
The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes.
The moral fitness of the parties involved.
The mental and physical health of the parties involved.
The home, school, and community record of the child.
The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express a preference.
The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent or the child and the parents.
Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child.
Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child. Schmitt Law, PLLC knows that your first priority is your children, and will find creative solutions that fits your specific situation.

Schmitt Law, PLLC can advise and represent parents throughout the entire custody process, offering skilled advocacy for parents, while being empathetic to the challenges involved in determining child custody. Laurie Schmitt of Schmitt Law, PLLC is a West Michigan family law attorney specializing in collaborative divorce as well as separation, divorce, child custody and support, paternity, and other family law litigation. She is licensed by Michigan State Bar and the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Michigan, and has extensive advanced training in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Contact Laurie at (616) 608-4634 for a confidential consultation.

I Want Custody of My Children, but I Love Facebook: Why you should ‘unfriend’ Facebook during a custody case

July 19, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

Why you should ‘unfriend’ Facebook during your child custody case

Although my West Michigan family law practice involves meeting with clients about a range of issues, child custody issues are often the most challenging for my clients. The toll child custody takes on the individual parties’ emotions, children, and finances is the number one reason why I encourage people to learn more about Collaborative Divorce before things become too heated.

Child custody cases can be gut wrenching for all of the parties involved, depending on the nature of the case. Unfortunately, it is the emotional nature of child custody issues that makes my clients’ misuse of social media one of my most challenging issues as an attorney.

I get it. It feels good—even if it’s just for a moment— to blow off steam with a piping hot Facebook post (that doesn’t actually mention your soon-to-be-ex by name, so it’s harmless, right?). And all of those Facebook ‘likes’ on our child custody issue frustrations and woes can feel very validating at a time when we probably need validation from our friends and family the most.

However, if you stopped on this post because you think you are about to be involved in, are in the middle of, or are even nearing the end of a child custody issue, please DO NOT update your Facebook status until you have finished reading this.

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Here are my top seven recommendations I make to my own clients who are going through a child custody dispute:

NEVER slam your ex on social media.
In fact, I instruct all of my clients to refrain from any and all Facebook updating, commenting, liking, or sharing that can be seen as making a comment on the case or disparaging the other party. Believe it or not, as good as the short-term adrenaline rush might feel to post your true feelings about the case on Facebook for the world, and especially your ex, to see, that’s all that it really does is heat up an already difficult situation.
Better yet, stay off Facebook until your case is complete. Don’t use Facebook to share your life with the world while your case (and your child’s and your future) is pending with the court. It’s simple: if you stay off Facebook, nothing you say, innocent or otherwise, can be used against you, because it’s just not there to be found.
If you decide to stay active on social media during your child custody dispute, remember that your social media photos are worth more than a thousand words. Never post pictures of themselves in bars, drinking alcohol, at parties, and definitely NEVER using illegal substances. What you may see as innocent pictures of a fun night out with friends, are now being shown in court as a way to support your ex’s effort to depict you as the worst parent in the world.
Remember: If it is on your Facebook account, your judge will see it.
Social media privacy is an oxymoron. If you think none of this applies to you because you are smart and have your social media accounts set to private, think again. You would be amazed at how many of my clients’ “friends” have been willing to provide their opposing party with access to their “private” social media posts and photos.
But if your account is not set to private, your ex’s attorney IS regularly reviewing your activity. I know in my own practice I have looked at numerous Facebook accounts and have found photos including drugs and drug paraphernalia laying about the house, photos of people who are visibly intoxicated, photos that undoubtedly show an adulterous relationship, and read volumes of derogatory comments about the other party that go directly to the comment author’s own fitness as a parent.

The real take home point, in case you have missed it, is that when you are fighting for your children, stay away from Facebook and other social media while your child custody case is ongoing. What you post can be twisted and turned against you. Getting through a heated custody case is hard enough. There is no reason to make your attorney’s job as your advocate harder because of a ridiculous Facebook post.

Before you post that comment or photo on Facebook, remember your end goal: custody of your children. Facebook will be there for you when it’s all over.

Divorce “The New” Custody Case – Pets!

July 19, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

Becoming ever commonplace are cases wherein parties fail to agree on who the beloved family pet should live with after the divorce. Enter the “pet custody” case.

In the State of Michigan, pets are considered mere property, and divided by the court as such. Needless to say, judges really despise making decisions regarding the split of pets.

As someone with a great love for animals, I understand how animals become a significant part of the family, and are certainly much more than just property. And I also understand the emotions that drive divorce clients to engage in a “custody” battle over the family pet.

So, how can a pet custody case be resolved? I have settled cases where parties agreed that the pet moves back and forth with the children. So, when the children spend time with one parent, the pet goes with them.

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However, how can we best settle this dispute when there are no children, and the only “child” is the pet. Courts will look at the bond of the parties and the pet, and who is the primary caretaker of the pet when deciding “custody”. In these divorce cases, judgments have been drafted to include a schedule similar to those for children, wherein custody is shared by the parties. The downfall of this arrangement is that it requires a high degree of cooperation between the parties.

After determining “custody”, it must be decided how the “non-custodial” party will be compensated for the value of the pet. Courts value pets based on the purchase price, and do not compensate for the emotional value parties place on the pet.

As with any decision in a divorce case, don’t allow a judge to control the outcome. If you and your spouse are unable to reach an agreement regarding custody of your pet, consider an alternate dispute resolution such as mediation.

Again, this is a decision that is close to your heart. Do not risk handing over control to a judge.

Custody

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