The unintended consequence of divorce often produces the inability of parents to effectively communicate about the children. The end result is that parents often place the children in the middle of the continual war. The goal should be to raise healthy and happy children, not to place them between adult hostility. Both parents need to be informed about important issues regarding the children, and parents need to develop a way to communicate with each other for the well being of the children.
The following are some of the largest issues between divorced parties:
- Do: inform the other parent of medical issues regarding the children that take place during your parenting time
- Don’t: attempt to hide medical issues regarding the children. This is a behavior that is not in the best interest of the children.
- Do: inform the other parent about special school, church, and extra-curricular events that the children will be participating in
- Don’t: tell the other parent about these events at the last minute in an attempt to effectively prevent them from attending
- Do: discuss with the other parent enrollment in extra-curricular events prior to enrolling the children, especially if these events will take place during the other parent’s time
- Don’t: enroll the children in so many extra-curricular activities that it negatively impacts the other’s parent time with the children. Each parent should be allowed to have meaningful time with the children.
- Do: focus your future conversations with the other parent about the children, not about what caused you to seek a divorce.
- Don’t: engage in non-productive conversations with the other parent. There is no need to continue living through your divorce.
- Do: be respectful in your conversations with the other parents, especially when the children are present.
- Don’t: argue or engage in name calling with the other parent when the children are present. This happens often during exchanges, and creates much anxiety in the children. Fake it until you can make it!
- Do: respect that each parent has created a new life, to include a new lifestyle and rules for the children.
- Don’t: disparage the other parent’s lifestyle or home life with the children
- Do: try and work together to enforce and support common sense rules for the children in both homes.
- Don’t: belittle the rules and enforcement of those rules at the other parent’s home. This simply creates confusion with the children.
- Do: talk to the other parent about school related issues or challenges that the children may be having
- Don’t: decide the other parent does not need to be informed about school related issues. The children will benefit when both parents take an active role in the children’s education.
For assistance with your divorce and to learn more about how to develop positive communication with the other parent, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to schedule an appointment.
