You may be thinking what is a child centered divorce, and can a child centered divorce really be achieved? A child centered divorce is where the parties are concerned about the impact of their divorce on the children and maintain the focus of the divorce on the needs of the children. And yes, this can be achieved.
The following are important points you should know about a child centered divorce:
1. Make your divorce “all about the children”, and agree to work together to keep the children’s emotional needs as their focus of the divorce. This means that the parties’ actions, now and in the future, will be in the best interests of their children, and they will make their decisions and continue to communicate with this in mind.
2. The parties are banned from discussing details of the divorce litigation with them. This is not to say that they children should not be told about the divorce. But information provided to the children must be in the most general terms, age appropriate, and without specific details or viewpoints.
3. Do not disparage the other or their family members in front of the children. The parties shall refrain from disrespecting the other or their families and friends, and shall refrain from making disparaging remarks, false statement, and false accusations about each other and encourage their friends, relatives, and neighbors to avoid making the similar remarks.
4. Agree never to place the children in the middle of the divorce. It may be difficult to refrain from talking about the divorce, but with a little willpower, it can and should be done. Children love both parents and should not be placed in a position that they feel they must take your side or choose between their parents. Therefore, there should be no discussion, derogatory comments, or questioning of the children concerning the other parent, the other parent’s relationships, or the other parent’s activities.
5. Children should be assured that they are not the cause of the divorce, and that both of you still love them even though you will not be living together as a family any longer.
In summary, children should be left out of disputes, and certainly do not need to know specifics about the divorce litigation. The parents are the ones who should carry that burden of the divorce process, not the children. Support the children by being civil to one another, and understanding that the children may be struggling with this process as well. Put the children’s needs first to avoid putting the children through needless drama.
For assistance with your divorce process, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to schedule an appointment.