If you have a contentious relationship with your soon-to-be ex, then the first statement I make to clients is to limit their communication with the other party to texting only, and to essential communication about the children. If it is not a legitimate issue that must be addressed with the other party, then do not send the text.
Be mindful that anything you text can be brought into court as evidence and used against you in a custody hearing or trial. Think before you send that text “do I want the judge to see this text?”.
Learn to have self-control when you receive a text that upsets you. You DO NOT need to respond immediately, or perhaps not at all. Nothing is gained by keeping the bantering going. This may sound easy, and I respect that it is not. It is critical for couples who do not get along to find a way to effectively communicate (leading to effective co-parenting). And, inappropriate texts/or responses to them can be used against you in court.
To address social media, my statement to clients is to not litigate their case on social media sites. Do not post inappropriate comments or pictures, or any information about your case. The information or pictures you post can be used against you in court. Again, ask yourself “do I want the judge seeing this information or pictures and will this put me in a bad light in front of the judge?”. Bad behavior on social media sites really cannot be explained away in front of a judge. For additional information about social media see my blog “I want to win custody of my children, but I love Facebook…”.
To summarize, while the other party may poke at you via text or phone calls, this is the time to dig deep and develop self-control about how and when to interact with your spouse. Learning that you do not need to respond immediately, or at all will lower your anxiety, hopefully reduce the back and forth between the two of you, and will protect you in the event that your case is required to be heard by the judge.
If you have questions about communicating with the other party while going through a divorce or custody battle, or any other questions related to the divorce process, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC and set up an appointment. Give us a call at 616-310-4975.
