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Laurie Schmitt Family Law

W. Michigan family law specializing in Collaborative Divorce

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616.608.4634

  • Home
  • About
    • About Laurie Schmitt
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    • Inspirational Quotes
  • Divorce
    • Uncontested Divorce
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
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    • Spousal Support Modification
    • Annulments
    • Separate Maintenance
    • Alternative Divorce Options
  • Family Law
    • Limited Scope Services
    • Child Custody
    • Change of Domicile
    • Post-Judgement Modification
    • Enforcement of Court Orders
    • Child Support
  • Paternity
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    • The Michigan Paternity Act
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Archives for April 2023

Can My Ex Buy Cell Phones For Our Child?

April 27, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

What happens when your ex buys cell phones for your child and you don’t agree with that decision? And you don’t agree with the child possessing and using the cell phone during your parenting time. What can you do?

IS IT A JOINT LEGAL DECISION OR NOT?

  • WHAT THE COURTS SAY

The Michigan courts are not settled in their opinions about whether or not a child having a cell phone is a joint legal decision. Some judges believe that it is a joint legal decision, due to the inherent risks posed due to the access to the internet and social media. Conversely, other judges believe it is not, that it is a routine decision allowing for parental discretion while a child is in their care.

ROUTINE DECISION

Cell Phones and Child

If the court believe that the purchase of a cell phone is a routine decision, then your ex would have parental discretion over the use, restriction, or possession of that cell phone while your child is in their care. Therefore, your ex can purchase a cell phone for your child and allow them to use it during their parenting time.

BUT IT IS STILL YOUR DISCRETION

However, this doesn’t mean your ex can require you allow your child use of the cell phone when your child is at your house. It is within your discretion to prohibit the phone’s use during your parenting time (just like you having the ability to limit screen time or ground your child from a devise as a punishment). This means your ex can’t force you to allow your child use of the cell phone during your parenting time, as access to a cell phone during parenting time is a routine parenting decision that is within your discretion.

The general rule is “It’s your house – your rules, and their house – their rules”. 

TRANSPORT OF THE CELL PHONE TO YOUR HOUSE

  • WHAT THE COURT SAYS

But what happens when your ex allows your child to transport the cell phone to your home during your parenting time? Some judges have ruled that the cell phone will not be transported with the child to the other parent’s home. Why? Because you shouldn’t be responsible for a lost or stolen phone and your ex expecting you to pay for a new cell phone. 

But now you become the bad guy with your child. If you never agreed to the purchase of the cell phone in the first place, this puts you in the position of either taking the cell phone away when your child arrives at your home or having to restrict your child’s use of the cell phone. Inform your ex that the cell phone can’t be transported with the child.

And you don’t want to be put in the position of micromanaging your child’s use: social media, the internet, who they may be talking to, or texting. Most likely, this was the very reason you did not want your child having a cell phone – the concern about what your child is accessing on that cell phone. And perhaps you believe your child is too young to have a cell phone, and that there is no legitimate reason for your child to need a cell phone. 

WE CAN HELP!  GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We know your legal issues are unique and special. If you are having a post-divorce issue related to your children’s use of cell phone, the internet, or social media, call us, we will listen. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

Filed Under: Issues Concerning Children Tagged With: Children Issues, Social Media

What Happens When We Don’t Agree On Extra-Curricular Activities For The Children?

April 24, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Does your judgment of divorce contain provisions regarding the terms of extra-curricular activities for the children?  Does it define who will pay for the extra-curricular activities?  Does it state how many extra-curricular activities the children may participate in at one time? Does it specifically state what activities the children may participate in?  If so, your judgment of divorce controls.  If not, now what?

Extra Curricular Activities and Children

HOW DO COURTS DECIDE DISPUTES

Courts look to the best interest of the children when evaluating extra-curricular activity disputes between parents. 

COMMON QUESTIONS

The following are some of the top questions of clients regarding extra-curricular activities and the possible rulings judges may make:

Question: Can my ex unilaterally enroll the children in extra-curricular activities?

Possible Ruling: Some judges say that if your ex enrolls your child in an extra-curricular activity without seeking your permission, the activity must be on your ex’s parenting time. The general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: Does your ex expect you to pay for an extra-curricular activity that you did not agree to?

Possible Ruling: Judges may rule that your ex would remain solely responsible for enrollment fees/costs. Once again, the general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: What if you and your ex can’t agree on extra-curricular activities for your child?

Possible Ruling: When you and your ex can’t agree to extra-curricular activities for your child, judges may rule that you each will rotate with enrollment choices. This means that this quarter you get to select the extra-curricular activity and next quarter your ex gets to select. Also, the judge would consider how long the child has been involved in a specific extra-curricular activity. Judges will typically say that if the child has been involved in an activity in the past (or while you were married), they will remain enrolled in that activity.

Question: Does the extra-curricular activity impact your ability to have meaningful parenting time with your children?

Possible Ruling: Judges have also ruled that there will be a limit the number of activities a child can participate in at one time. The premise is that your child shouldn’t be enrolled in so many activities that it negatively impacts you or your ex’s parenting time. The child’s extra-curricular activity should enhance their lives, not keep them constantly on the run.

Question: Who is responsible for transportation to and from the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: If you and your ex agreed to the activity, you will be responsible for transportation during your parenting time. If there was no agreement, it is likely your ex will be solely responsible for transportation.

Question: What happens if my ex refuses to take our child to the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: Judges have gone different directions on this issue. Some judges will not require a parent to take the child to the extra-curricular activity during their parenting time, while other judges will require parents to do so. 

VALUE IN EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Participation in extra-curricular activities is good for children as it builds self-esteem, teaches them how to be a part of a team, helps them make friends that share in common interests, and teaches them about winning and losing. And if your child excels in a particular extra-curricular activity, it could mean a college scholarship. So, even if you didn’t agree to your child participating in an extra-curricular activity, and it lands on your parenting time, there may be value in allowing them to participate versus fighting with your ex about it.

Disclaimer: Many of the answers to the above questions are judge dependent. The true answer is “It just depends” on your specific judge.  The outcome to all extra-curricular activity disputes can be very different based on your judge. If you’re having issues with your ex related to extra-curricular activities for your children, call Schmitt Law, PLLC to see how we can assist.

AN ATTORNEY WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.  GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, our clients benefit from years of experience. We treat every client as an individual, taking the time to understand your unique situation, so as to best advise you on the steps you should take. Whatever stage your life is at, you can trust Schmitt Law, PLLC to guide you through the legal process with expertise and compassion, because we understand that family comes first. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Filed Under: Issues Concerning Children Tagged With: Activities, Children, Extra-Curricular

The Economic Impact of Divorce – The Financial Storm

April 20, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

The cost of food has risen. The housing market remains unpredictable- values soaring and values crashing. The cost of gas has gone sky high, with no end in sight. Consumers have experienced a significant drop in purchasing power. So, how can a weak economy impact your divorce?

It can be an added stressor if you’re not financially prepared for your new economic reality: a single income. And you need to quickly assess how far your income will go in today’s economic climate. You need to be prepared to weather the storm. If you’re going through a divorce, the following are a few tips on how to get through the financial storm:

INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS: Many people have watched their retirement/investment accounts drop in value. What does this mean to you? This could delay your retirement plans. Work with your financial advisor to see what you can do to reduce your loss and stay on track with your retirement plans.

Economic Impact of Divorce

EMPLOYMENT: Employment security can be in question. You think you have job security.  But that may be further from the truth than you think. Businesses are laying off staff and closing their doors in record numbers. When you’re at work, keep your divorce conversation low key.  You don’t want management to think you’re unable to perform effectively because of divorce drama.

SUPPLEMENTING YOUR INCOME: Prepare a realistic budget for your new single income status. Perhaps you may need to consider seeking a part time job to supplement your first income. Leave enough room in your new budget for unexpected expenses.    

WATCH YOUR SPENDING: Don’t make unnecessary major purchases. Be mindful about how you’re spending your money.  After the divorce you may need transportation. But it doesn’t mean you need a new car.  And of course, you need a place to live after the divorce. But it doesn’t mean you need to put yourself in a position of being rent or mortgage poor.

MANAGE YOUR COSTS: Review your cell service plan, cable service, subscriptions, memberships, club memberships, gym memberships, and other monthly spending. Ask yourself if these are necessary expenses, or just extra spending you can live without.

DOWNSIZING: If you had “toys” such as boats, motorcycles, campers, and snowmobiles during your marriage, you need to carefully contemplate your ability to afford them after your divorce. Not only do they cost money to purchase, but they cost money to maintain and use them. It may no longer be reasonable for you in your new single status to keep recreational vehicles that you and your spouse purchased while married.

LEARN TO COOK:  Dining out can be considered a luxury. And even if you say I only go out for fast food, frequent trips to fast food restaurants can add up to thousands of dollars a year.

COFFEE: Learn to make your own coffee! Spending $5 cup for a cup of coffee five times a week equals $1200 a year. What else could you do with an additional $1200 a year?

TAX CONSEQUENCES: You need to review your tax withholding and estimate tax payments for any necessary adjustments which may need to be made to reflect your new single status. Contact your accountant or talk to your human resources department to make sure you are paying taxes at your new single status.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. And we understand the negative impact a divorce can have on financial security. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Filed Under: Collaborative Divorce, Financial Issues Tagged With: Collaborative Divorce, Financial Concerns

Can You Control Lifestyle Differences In Your Ex’s House?

April 17, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Courts don’t adjudicate values for your children. They leave that for parents. If you and your spouse are getting divorced or are already divorced, you may not share the same values or lifestyles. So, what can you do when you and your ex have different rules and lifestyles in your homes for your children?

Different Lifestyles divorce

You need to find a way to accept that you and your ex are ending or have ended your marriage for a reason.  And you need to accept the reality that each of you have the right to make different decisions and implement different rules for the children while the children are in your care. You need to manage your expectations now, for what’s about to come: each parent having the right to control their homes during their parenting time.

If it’s not illegal, considered neglect or abuse, or putting the children in danger, the court will not get involved in micromanaging you or your ex’s lifestyle and decisions regarding your children.

Even if you and your ex disagree on decisions for the children, you and your ex get to decide what takes place in your respective homes. These are just a few examples of decisions parent gets to make when the children are in that parent’s care:

  • What the children may eat
  • What clothes the children may wear
  • What bed times the children will have
  • The children’s access, use, duration and choices of tv, video games, cell phone use, internet access, and social media platforms
  • What activities they will participate in
  • How they will wear their hair

These are just a few issues the court will not involve themselves in:

  • Mom/dad lets me stay up later
  • Mom/dad lets me play that video game
  • Mom/dad lets me listen to that music
  • Mom/Dad said I could at their house

Ask yourself, if your ex’s decisions are negatively impacting the health, safety, or welfare of your children? Your inclination may be to jump to the answer yes, of course their decisions are bad for the children. But will the court agree with you?

FINAL TIP: You may not approve of your ex’s decisions nor would you make the same choices at your house. But that’s the very definition of lifestyle differences. So, before you litigate lifestyle differences, ask yourself if you can show the court that a health, safety, or welfare issue is involved. Disagreements, conflicts, and differences about lifestyles will not be enough to convince a court to micromanage your ex’s life.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation.  Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.  To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Filed Under: Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Children, Collaborative Divorce, Lifestyle Differences

Are You On The Divorce Roller-Coaster?

April 13, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Divorce is a painful and emotionally stressful time for everyone. And divorce can be one of the hardest decisions to make in life. So, it’s no surprise that with divorce comes a roller-coaster of emotions.

divorce rollercoaster

Albeit I am not a trained counselor, my experience as a divorce attorney means I assist people every day who are going through the painful process of ending their marriage.  And in my experience people who enter into my office find themselves in various emotional stages. 

The following are just a few of the more common emotional stages that you may find yourself in while going through your divorce.

ANGER: You’re angry that your spouse has asked you for a divorce, and/or filed for the divorce. And anger is a natural reaction.  It’s what you do next that matters. If you’re struggling with your anger, seek professional help to get you through your divorce.

DISBELIEF: You feel blindsided – you never saw the divorce coming. You thought you and your spouse had a solid marriage. You can’t believe your finding yourself faced with your marriage ending. Once again, there is no shame in seeking professional assistance in addressing your feelings. 

FEAR: You have no idea what’s going to happen next. You worry about where you’ll live after the divorce. You wonder if you can afford to be divorced – if you’ll be able to support yourself after the divorce. You worry about how your divorce will impact the children. (See blogs “Divorce Fears”).

EMBARRASSMENT:  It’s relatively common for you to feel embarrassed that you’re in the midst of the divorce. Your divorce can affect your friendships, your family relationships, your religious associations, and even your relationships with your children.

ACCEPTANCE: After time, you’ll accept the divorce and your new life. It’s not if you will come to accept your divorce, it’s how long your journey takes to find acceptance of your new status in life. Acceptance allows you to move on and realize that your past does not need to define your future.

RENEWAL: Your divorce has been ongoing for months but you see the end in sight. And you are ready to complete your divorce and move on with the next chapter of your life. You find yourself feeling content, and at peace. You’re finding your new life and where you fit into it. And you realize you can do it!

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PPLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.  To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Filed Under: Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Collaborative Divorce, Divorce

How Should You Act During Your Custody Case?

April 10, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

CUSTODY AND THE COMMON-SENSE RULES.

You’re in the midst of a custody case, and suspect it may turn into a battle. Or your case has taken a turn for the worse, and everything you say and do seems to get back to the judge. What should you do?

Ask yourself “What type of parent am I”?  Will the judge conclude you are a good parent when they look at the evidence?  Do your decisions reflect a parent that puts the needs of their children ahead of themselves?  It’s important to understand that your day-to-day decisions will be scrutinized by the judge when your case goes to trial. 

WHAT JUDGES REVIEW IN A CUSTODY CASE

Custody and Parents Behavior

Judges are concerned with your moral character, and your ability to make good decisions as a parent. Judges make custody determinations based off evidence presented in court. The following are tips to win your custody case:

  • STAY ACTIVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN’S EDUCATION.  Attend all parent/teacher conferences.  Stay in contact with the teachers (through email, telephone or in person). Address issues your children are having in school. Make it important to attend all extra-curricular and school activities of your children. It’s all about making your children’s education important.
  • OBTAIN COUNSELING FOR YOUR CHILDREN, IF NECESSARY.  Each child copes with divorce and change in their own way. Children benefit from having a neutral third party they can talk to and need a safe place to express their feelings. Children feel your anxiety and frustration. So, pay attention to their mental health needs.
  • NO DATING.  Dating while divorcing shows the court you’re placing your emotional needs ahead of your children’s needs, and shows poor judgment on your part. 
  • IF YOU MUST DATE.  And if you must date, don’t introduce your children to your significant other, or have your significant other spend the night when you have custody of your children. Be mindful that your children are struggling emotionally with the breakup of their family. And if this relationship extends past the divorce, an introduction can take place after the divorce.
  • DATING…CONTINUED.  If you were never married to the other parent and are in the middle of a custody battle, having multiple new people in and out of the children’s lives is not healthy or appropriate. So, stop doing it, or don’t start it! 
  • NO OVERNIGHTS. Unless you need to spend the night away for business purposes, refrain from spending the night away from home. And be prepared to document these trips as business trips. Staying the night away from home can show your needs come before your children’s needs. And, even if they are business trips, it can be misconstrued as a possible affair. 
  • JUST STOP!  Don’t engage in name calling, arguing, or use of foul language with your ex while in front of your children. Your children are already conflicted, and don’t benefit by seeing you act badly towards your ex. These behaviors show a lack of discretion and places your children on the front line of the war. 
  • NO FIGHTING AT EXCHANGES.  You and your ex are there to exchange the children, not engage in battle with the other parent. If you’re having issues with the other parent’s behavior at exchanges, you may want to document the exchanges via video
  • TAKE THE BATTLE OUT OF IT.  Don’t engage in text/email wars. Anything you put in writing can and will show up in court. Make sure that your communications are necessary and relevant regarding your children. If you send it, the judge may read it.  So, take a moment before you hit the “send” button. Ask yourself, “do I want the judge to see this”? 
  • NO BAD TALK.  When the children are with you, focus your activities around them.  Don’t spend your quality time with your children disparaging your ex. It just puts your children in the middle.    
  • RELIGION. If you’ve always attended church with the children, continue to do so.  However, if you and the children have no real religious history prior to the custody case, don’t manufacture an interest in religion to make yourself look better to the court.
  • DO YOU WANT A PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDER FILED AGAINST YOU? Don’t stalk, harass, or repeatedly call the ex. It may cause your mental health and character may be called into question by the judge. And worse yet, you may find yourself receiving a PPO.
  • NO ILLEGAL ACTIVITY OR ARRESTS.  If you can’t refrain from participating in illegal activity or getting arrested during a custody case, you will not be awarded custody. 
  • DON’T DRIVE WITHOUT A LICENSE. If your license has been revoked or suspended, don’t drive with your children in the car.   Doing so shows complete disregard for the law. 
  • DRUGS/ALCOHOL: If there are allegations of drug use and excessive drinking, then you need to stop. Nothing worse than failing a court ordered drug or alcohol test.
  • ARE YOUR ACTIVITIES BEING DOCUMENTED. It’s not uncommon for private investigators to be hired in custody cases. Who knows your habits better than your ex?  And what better way to make you look bad than to get video footage of you drunk at the bar. So, refrain from going to bars during your custody case. 

CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY.  GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Custody is a sensitive topic in divorce cases. Child custody mediation will put your child first and set you up for a healthy co-parenting relationship. With an experienced attorney and mediator like Laurie Schmitt, you will be able to navigate your new family dynamic with clear understanding and communication. Looking for a professional and experienced family law attorney, contact us online or give us a call at (616) 608-4634. At Schmitt Law, PLLC our commitment is to you!

Filed Under: Issues Concerning Children Tagged With: Behavior, Children, Collaborative Divorce, Custody Case

Is It Ok To Use Social Media During a Divorce or Custody Case?

April 6, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA AND YOUR FAMILY LAW CASE.

So much of our lives seem to be documented publicly on social media. But, if you’re going through a divorce or custody battle, you need to think twice about the use of social media platforms.

GOLDEN RULE

It’s common sense! If it’s in writing, it can and will be used against you in your divorce or custody case. So, ask yourself “Do I want the judge to see this?”. “Will this hurt or help my case?”

PROTECT YOURSELF

How do you protect yourself? Simply shut down social media accounts during your divorce or custody case. If you are unwilling to do so, refrain from posting anything – anywhere! Although this advice is not favored by clients, it just makes sense. 

YOUR ACCOUNT IS SET TO PRIVATE

Divorce and Social Media

Even if your social media accounts are set to private, you need to be extraordinarily carefully with who you trust. It won’t be the first time a “friend” leaks posts to the soon to be ex. And all of the sudden the information you thought you were sharing with “friends” has found its way to the judge.

PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUPS

But you say you’re in a private Facebook group, and that will be ok. If you’re in a private Facebook group, these people are strangers to you. There should be no trust. You just never know who will release your private posts, and to whom your posts will be released to. Once again, if it’s in writing, it can and will be used against you in your divorce or custody case. And, if it’s in writing, it’s difficult to impossible to discredit the statement in court. Why?  You put it in writing.

MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED

And the excuse of “my account was hacked” holds little water to any judge. How much money are you willing to spend for an expert to show that your account was hacked? Remember, judges have heard it all, and this is not an original defense to inappropriate postings found on your account.

YOUR POSTINGS

Remember, posting things about your children can go viral. The judge would certainly frown upon you if you’re posting things about your children in an effort to shame the other parent. If you’re attempting to, or it appears that you’re attempting to disparage the other parent in your posts, the judge will believe you’re unable to encourage a close and loving relationship between the children and the other parent. This activity undermines co-parenting, and you may lose joint legal custody.

POSTINGS MADE BY SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

It’s true that you’re not responsible for controlling your significant other, their actions, or what they say on social media. However, if your new boyfriend/girlfriend are posting things about your divorce, or your children, don’t be surprised when you pay the price in court for their actions or statements.

YOUR CHILDREN

Lastly, do you care about your children’s feelings? Your children can be ashamed and embarrassed over your posts, so don’t’ drag your children into your divorce. Even if your children are young, it’s possible they will see your posts one day.

CONSIDERING DIVORCE?  LEARN YOUR OPTIONS WITH SCHMITT LAW, PLLC.  GRAND RAPIDS DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Contemplating a divorce can be one of the hardest decisions to make in life. There are many complexities involving the divorce process, making it overwhelming for most. However, know that you are not alone, and help is available. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we are here to answer your questions, ease your concerns, and protect your rights. To book a consultation, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or by calling (616) 608-4634.

Filed Under: Other Family Law Issues Tagged With: Collaborative Divorce, Mediation, Social Media, Use of

Why Didn’t I Receive The Result In My Custody Case That I Expected?

April 3, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Custody cases are the most difficult of family law cases to litigate. If you are about to be, or are currently involved in a custody case, you should review this list. It may prevent you from finding yourself in a position of asking yourself why you didn’t receive the result you expected in your custody case.

Child Custody Results
  • I didn’t follow the guidelines of my attorney. It’s likely early in your professional relationship with your attorney there were discussions about what was expected from you. If you failed to follow those guidelines, it may have been a contributory factor in not being awarded the parenting time or custody you were seeking.
  • My communication with the other parent was harassing and/or off topic from issues related to the children. This is a simple rule to follow: while in the midst of a custody case, keep your communication with the other parent about the children. This means do not discuss the history of your relationship, what lead to the breakdown of your relationship, what angers you about the other parent, or make any derogatory statements to the other parent through your communication. Negative communication to the other parent can constitute harassment, it is unnecessary, and will not assist you in achieving your goals as a parent. And assume that all communications with the other parent will be shared with the judge.
  • I refused to stop drinking and/or using drugs. When a Michigan court makes a determination regarding custody and parenting time, they do so by reviewing the best interest factors. And one of the best interest factors is related to alcohol and drug use. An ongoing substance abuse or alcohol issue can be viewed by a judge as an impediment on your ability to appropriately care for your children. 
  • I refused to address my anger issues. If domestic violence was an issue in your relationship with the other parent (or with any other significant other), you may want to seek professional assistance. Once again, a domestic violence issue is yet another best interest factor that will be heavily weighed by the judge in their final decision regarding custody and parenting time. 
  • My expectations were not realistic from the start of the case. At your first consultation, it’s important to share your expectations with your attorney. And, it’s equally important for your attorney to inform you if your expectations are realistic. Client disappointments happen when clients want more than they can receive from the judge, and when attorneys overpromise.    

LET ME WORRY ABOUT WHAT MATTERS MOST … YOUR FUTURE WITH YOUR FAMILY.  GRAND RAPIDS CUSTODY ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

The hallmark of my family law practice is providing you with top quality legal service, and by being intensely responsive to my clients. I will work hard to protect your future with your children. I will help you to secure the best possible outcome in your custody case, by giving you your strongest voice in the family law process. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

Filed Under: Issues Concerning Children Tagged With: Children, Custody Case, Family Law

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    Laurie K. Schmitt
    Attorney, Mediator, and Collaborative Lawyer

    401 Hall Street SW
    Suite 112D
    Grand Rapids, MI 49503

    Phone: 616.608.4634

    Visa and MasterCard Accepted
    Laurie Schmitt of Schmitt Law, PLLC is a West Michigan family law attorney specializing in collaborative divorce as well as separation, divorce, child custody and support, paternity, and other family law litigation. She is licensed by Michigan State Bar and the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Michigan, and has extensive advanced training in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce.

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    Member in Good Standing - 2023 - Collaborative Practice Institute of Michigan

    Copyright © 2025 Laurie Schmitt Law, PLLC - All Rights Reserved.


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