Laurie Schmitt Family Law

W. Michigan family law specializing in Collaborative Divorce

616.608.4634

Divorce

6 Divorce Tips for Mothers

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Mothers going through divorce face unique emotional and logistical challenges. The experience often involves balancing personal healing with ensuring stability and security for their children. 

While every situation is unique, the following tips can help mothers navigate divorce with resilience and grace.

  1. Look After Yourself: Divorce takes a toll on your mental and emotional health. Prioritize self-care to ensure you have the strength to support yourself and your kids.

  2. Focus on Co-parenting: Co-Parenting effectively remains crucial for your kids. Foster a cooperative relationship with your partner by communicating respectfully, setting clear boundaries and prioritizing your children’s needs.
     
  3. Understand Your Finances: Divorce comes with financial challenges, so it’s essential to have a clear understanding of your situation. Create a budget, consult with a financial advisor and know your rights!

  4. Be Honest With Your Kids: Children are deeply affected by divorce and their emotional well-being should be a top priority. Maintain open and age-appropriate communication by explaining the situation, reassuring them and encouraging expression.
     
  5. Create New Family Traditions: Establishing new traditions can help your family build a sense of unity and create positive memories. Consider: starting simple rituals, exploring new activities together and celebrating togetherness.
     
  6. Seek Legal Guidance: Navigating the legal aspects of divorce can be overwhelming. Protect your rights and interests by hiring an experienced attorney, documenting everything and staying informed.

If you wish to better understand your rights as a mother during a divorce, or if you feel that your rights have been violated, seek advice and support from experts who can help. At Schmitt Law, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that focuses on the best interests of the children. 

Through mediation, collaboration or litigation, knowledgeable, experienced and compassionate family law attorney Laurie Schmitt will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. 

For more information for mothers going through divorce, from the experts at Schmitt Law PLLC, please contact us here or call us directly at 616.608.4634.

Meeting With a Divorce Lawyer

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Your first meeting with a divorce lawyer can be a difficult yet crucial step in the divorce process. With the proper preparation, you can maximize the value of your initial consultation and leave with a clearer understanding of the path forward. 

Here are four ways to prepare for your meeting with a divorce lawyer:

1. Research Your Attorney

Every lawyer is different. Research helps you decide which lawyer’s specialization, reputation, and billing structure best align with your needs. Finding a lawyer who specializes in family law ensures quality representation when it comes to divorce cases. A lawyer’s history with similar cases also reveals their credibility. However, budget concerns can often make or break your decision to hire a lawyer. Researching a lawyer’s fees in advance allows you to budget for legal costs and avoid surprises.

2. Gather Necessary Documents

Bring important legal documents such as bank statements, pay stubs, your marriage certificate, prenuptial agreements and any child-related documents to your first meeting with a divorce lawyer. Providing necessary documents upfront streamlines the initial consultation and allows your attorney to build a stronger case from the start. Also, potential challenges and legal strategies become easier to identify.

3. Prepare Your Questions

The divorce process can be complex and overwhelming. Asking questions helps clarify the legal process and avoid miscommunication. You may consider asking questions about communication preferences, timelines and financial obligations regarding your specific case. Having these questions answered upfront alleviates anxiety and prepares you for the next steps in the divorce process. 

4. Set Realistic Goals

Assets, income, children and reasons for the divorce all impact which goals should be prioritized. Clear goals allow your lawyer to develop a personalized legal strategy so that you achieve the life you want after divorce. On the flip side, communicating goals helps your lawyer emotionally prepare you for the realistic circumstances of what can be achieved based on the law.
For more information about meeting with a divorce lawyer from Schmitt Law PLLC, please contact us here to schedule a consultation or call us directly at 616.608.4634.

Telling The Kids You’re Divorcing

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Telling your children about your impending divorce is always a tough conversation. However, open and honest discussion remains vital for a healthier transition process.

If possible, both parents should be present when telling children about divorce. If the kids have questions or concerns, both parents being present helps everyone to be on the same page. For your children, seeing their parents together reinforces the overall commitment to the family, even if the structure will be changing.

How much detail you choose to share depends on the age and maturity of your child. For example, younger children require simple explanations while older children may demand more complex answers. No matter your child’s age, approach the conversation with care and sensitivity.

Follow these four general talking points when telling children about a divorce:

  1. Reassure Them: Tell your children that you both love them and that the divorce is not their fault. This reminder reduces self-blame and anxiety, especially for young children.
  2. Prepare Them for Change: Be honest about how daily activities such as living arrangements, school and other routines may change. Explain that although routines may change, their best interest will still be prioritized.
  3. Avoid Blame: Avoid placing blame on either parent or criticizing parental behavior. Instead, model calm and mature behavior by using neutral and respectful language.
  4. Encourage Open Conversation: It is likely children will have many questions about the divorce. Validate any feelings or concerns and encourage them to come to you with questions at any time.

For more information about divorce from the experts at Schmitt Law PLLC, please contact us here to schedule a consultation or call us directly at 616.608.4634.

Do I Need An Attorney For My Divorce?

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While the state of Michigan does not require you to hire an attorney to handle your divorce, there are many reasons why working with a divorce attorney can improve the outcome.

Navigating a child custody case can Some individuals may try to avoid hiring a divorce attorney in an effort to save money. However, not hiring a qualified attorney often costs more in the long run. Because of this, it is important to consider all aspects of your situation before deciding whether or not to hire a divorce attorney.

Here are five reasons you may want an attorney for your divorce:

  1. You Don’t Have Experience: Divorce attorneys use their legal expertise to help you better understand your divorce. They will help with everything from helping you navigate the legal system correctly to leading you in negotiations with your spouse.
  2. Your Divorce Is Complex: Most divorces are complicated, but some are even more complex than others. Whether your divorce involves small children, shared properties, large amounts of debt, money or any other important assets, you may want to consider hiring an experienced attorney to ensure you get your fair share.
  1. It’s Not Amicable: When one partner is against the idea of divorce, it can make the process much more complicated. Hiring a divorce attorney can help prevent fighting between both parties and offer a more objective view throughout your divorce, thus reducing the likelihood of snap-judgment decisions and regret.
  2. Your Spouse Has An Attorney: Facing your spouse’s attorney without one on your side can lead to unfair outcomes. Hiring a divorce attorney will even the playing field and help both parties reach a fair agreement.
  3. You’re Stressed: Filing for divorce can be a long, complicated and emotional process. By having an attorney in your corner, you can spend your time processing or helping your kids through the process, while your attorney takes care of all the legal aspects of your divorce.

For more information about divorce from the experts at Schmitt Law, PLLC, please contact us online to arrange a consultation or call us directly at 616.608.4634. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

Is Nesting During Your Divorce Right For You?

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After your divorce has been filed, you and your spouse should discuss your living arrangement. Do you continue living in the marital home together, should one person move out, or is there another alternative?

Many couples getting a divorce can’t move on until final decisions have been made regarding asset division. Often times, couples need to sell the marital home, or receive their share of the equity from the marital home before they can commit to their housing future. 

Collaborative Divorce

As Michigan requires a 6 month wait period before couples with children can complete their divorce, it may be too difficult for parties to remain living in the marital home together for 6 months or more. 

WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?

You and your spouse may consider a nesting arrangement. What is nesting? Nesting is an arrangement wherein the children remain in the home, and you and your spouse take turns living in the marital home. You and your spouse go back and forth, moving between two residences while the children remain stationary in the marital home. 

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF A NESTING ARRANGEMENT?

A nesting arrangement maintains the children’s routine, and providing consistency for the children. It allows the children to stay in the home they are accustomed to, remain in the same school district, and stay near their friends while the divorce is pending.  

WILL NESTING WORK FOR YOU? 

Nesting can be a good alternative for some families and can be a disaster for others. If you and your spouse are involved in an emotionally charged divorce, nesting allows for the parties to have time with the children in the marital home, without the other party being present, and gives the parties space and privacy.

WHAT SHOULD THE NESTING AGREEMENT CONTAIN?

Before engaging in a nesting arrangement, you should obtain a written agreement in advance, addressing the common issues that arise. A written agreement helps the nesting arrangement to go smoothly if your written agreement takes into consideration the following:

• BOUNDARIES/PRIVACY: You and your spouse must clearly establish boundaries by deciding where you and your spouse will sleep when it’s you or your spouse’s turn to stay at the marital home. Often times one party will take the master bedroom, while the other party takes a spare room, or basement. The agreement should also state that each shall refrain from going into the other’s bedroom during their time in the marital home.

• PERSONAL ITEMS: The parties should commit to respecting the other’s personal items remaining in the home.

• BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS:  Typically, a nesting agreement states significant others are prohibited in the marital home during the pendency of the divorce.  After all, should the children be subjected to significant others already?

• FOOD:  You and your spouse should agree as to who will purchase the food, or how will the food expense be divided. 

• MORTGAGE AND UTILITIES:  You and your spouse should agree how the mortgage payment and utility costs will be divided. 

A nesting arrangement works well for many couples, as it allows for each party to have equal parenting time with the children. The largest downfall to a nesting arrangement is that each party must incur additional housing costs, as the nesting arrangement requires both parties to have another place to live during other parent’s time in marital home. This can be a financial burden for some parties. 

And the final question you should ask is will your children be better with a nesting arrangement, or will it be better for your children if one of you move out of the marital home now and establish a residence somewhere else. 

Housing issues while a divorce is ongoing is a difficult challenge and decisions must be considered carefully. If you would like to learn more about nesting, contact SCHMITT LAW, PLLC.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.  To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online here to arrange a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

After The Affair – Now What?

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You find out that your spouse had an affair and you’re now considering filing for divorce. You ask if you should file for a divorce, or what the best time to do so would be. These are impossible questions for an attorney to answer. Attorneys are not qualified to provide such counseling. 

However, the following is a quick list of things to take into consideration if you find yourself addressing an affair and possible divorce:

Affairs and Divorce

•           Have you tried marriage counseling? 

•           Are you open to marriage counseling?

•           What is the length of your marriage? 

•           Do you want to preserve the marriage?

•           Are you just ready to move on?

These are issues that would be best addressed with a trained counselor. And the timing of filing your divorce is completely up to you. 

If you’re struggling with the issue of an affair in your marriage, you may need some time to process the information. If you just found out about the affair, you may be very angry and hurt.  And it may not be the best time to make a major decision such as filing for a divorce. But you’re in total control of the process – meaning you control the timing of your divorce filing.  And note that if you file for divorce, and you and your spouse reconcile, it is a very simple process to dismiss your divorce filing.

In the end, Schmitt Law, PLLC respects your need to have your legal questions answered.  You need to know what your options are before you can even think about making a future decision regarding divorce. You need to know what your future will look like before you move forward.  Schmitt Law, PLLC encourages you to take the time you need to process the recent events in your life, process the legal information you obtain, and make a decision that is best for you. And if you decide to move forward with a divorce, you do so when you are ready. 

Your decision is ultimately yours, and yours alone to make. Know that when are ready, Schmitt Law, PLLC will be here to guide you through the process.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

If you are contemplating or in the process of a divorce or separation, contact the Michigan divorce attorney, Schmitt Law, PLLC. Our office understands that family law matters often involve complex relationships and dynamics that can enhance decision-making stress. We provide clients with the security to approach these challenges with confidence. Our dedicated attorneys will provide clients with individualized attention and strategic case preparation to address all parts of their cases. We invite you to contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

Do You Need To Protect Your Rights As A Parent?

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HELP!  I just want to see my kids a be a significant part of their lives without interference from the other parent.

You just want to be a parent to your children.  However, the other parent does everything they can think of to make your live miserable.  It’s as if they just want you to walk away, throw in the towel, and say I won’t see my children any more. 

Protect Parent Rights
  • Do you have a current parenting time order that the other parent continually violates? 
  • Are you constantly going back and forth with the other parent fighting to exercise your court ordered parenting time? 
  • Does the other parent schedule activities for the children on your parenting time? 
  • Does the other parent refuse to meet you at exchanges, or are they constantly late? 
  • Does the other parent try and control every aspect of the children’s lives, including what takes place in your household? 
  • Does the other parent attempt to micromanage the decisions you make during your parenting time (what the children will wear, eat, and what activities they will participate in)?
  • Does the other parent attempt to cut you out of the children’s lives? 
  • Does the other parent fail to keep you informed about medical information as it relates to the children?
  • Does the other parent fail to keep you informed about school related issues and activities?
  • Does the other parent make unilateral decisions regarding the children that fall under your joint legal status?
  • Does the other parent make their own rules, contrary to the court order?
  • Do you feel that no matter what decisions you make regarding the children, the other parent believes it is not good enough?
  • Does the other parent disparage you, your significant other, or your family in front and/or directly to the children?
  • Does the other parent interfere with your holiday parenting time?
  • Does the other parent dictate the terms of every facet of the children’s lives, without considering your impute? 

Are you tired of the stress and anxiety you expend trying to gain rightful access to the children? Do you feel that you get no respect as the children’s parent?  Frequently, parents contact Schmitt Law, PLLC frustrated that they are not being allowed to exercise their rights as a parent, or that they could not come to an agreeable parenting time arrangement with the other parent. If you are experiencing issues in your relationship with the other parent, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your rights and options as a parent.

CHILDREN ARE FIRST.  GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC we understand that the interests of your children always come first.  Whatever your situation, Schmitt Law, PLLC is experienced, sympathetic, and willing to help you achieve the best outcome for your entire family. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

What If My Spouse Won’t Cooperate? Can I Still Obtain A Divorce?

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At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I hear these phrases daily: My spouse won’t sign for the divorce papers or my spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce. These are classics, and are common concerns expressed by many clients. Don’t fear. You can proceed with your divorce even if your spouse will “not sign the papers”!

CAN I FILE FOR A DIVORCE IF MY SPOUSE WON’T COOPERATE?

Spouse won't cooperate in a divorce

Yes, you can seek a divorce with or without your spouse’s permission or participation. You have the right to file for divorce in a court that has jurisdiction over your marriage. Your spouse may be telling you that they will not cooperate and therefore you can’t get a divorce. But, your spouse’s lack of consent or cooperation will delay your divorce, but not prevent it. A contentious divorce may take longer than when parties cooperate. But your divorce will be granted.

DOES MY SPOUSE NEED TO SIGN FOR THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

NO, your spouse will not be required to sign anything when they are served with a complaint for divorce. Once your complaint for divorce is filed with the court, then it must be served on your spouse. This can be done several ways. However, if your spouse is uncooperative from the beginning, the best way to ensure appropriate service is through a process server. The process server need only hand the documents to your spouse. Your spouse does not need to sign for service, nor sign that they have accepted any of the divorce documents. 

DO I NEED MY SPOUSE’S SIGNATURE ON ANYTHING TO GET A DIVORCE?

No, you don’t need your spouse’s consent to obtain divorce! If you want to end your marriage, your spouse’s refusal to cooperate will not prevent you from getting your divorce. If you’re worried you will be unable to move forward with your divorce because your spouse will not cooperate, let me ease your mind. 

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE FAILS TO RESPOND TO THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

Once the complaint for divorce has been served on your spouse, your spouse 21 days to file an answer with the court. If your spouse fails to file an answer in time, a Default can be entered with the court. The process is as follows:

  • After the time for responding has passed without an answer, a Notice of Default is filed and signed by the Clerk of Court
  • A copy of the notice of default is mailed to your spouse
  • A hearing will be set wherein you request to enter a default judgment
  • You would set a hearing date and send notice to your spouse (including a proposed judgment of divorce).
  • At the hearing, the judge will review the paperwork you’ve filed, will ask you some questions, and will ultimately issue a ruling on your divorce.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE WON’T SIGN THE JUDGMENT OF DIVORCE?

If your spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce or fails to respond to your complaint for divorce, you can request the court to enter a default judgment of divorce against your spouse. 

IN SUMMARY

Your spouse may be saying a lot of things now that you are presenting them with the possibility of a divorce. If you are confused or concerned about what your spouse may be saying about your right or ability to file for divorce and have your divorce granted, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your options and rights.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life.  Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.