Laurie Schmitt

What If My Spouse Won’t Cooperate? Can I Still Obtain A Divorce?

June 7, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I hear these phrases daily: My spouse won’t sign for the divorce papers or my spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce. These are classics, and are common concerns expressed by many clients. Don’t fear. You can proceed with your divorce even if your spouse will “not sign the papers”!

CAN I FILE FOR A DIVORCE IF MY SPOUSE WON’T COOPERATE?

Yes, you can seek a divorce with or without your spouse’s permission or participation. You have the right to file for divorce in a court that has jurisdiction over your marriage. Your spouse may be telling you that they will not cooperate and therefore you can’t get a divorce. But, your spouse’s lack of consent or cooperation will delay your divorce, but not prevent it. A contentious divorce may take longer than when parties cooperate. But your divorce will be granted.

DOES MY SPOUSE NEED TO SIGN FOR THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

NO, your spouse will not be required to sign anything when they are served with a complaint for divorce. Once your complaint for divorce is filed with the court, then it must be served on your spouse. This can be done several ways. However, if your spouse is uncooperative from the beginning, the best way to ensure appropriate service is through a process server. The process server need only hand the documents to your spouse. Your spouse does not need to sign for service, nor sign that they have accepted any of the divorce documents.

DO I NEED MY SPOUSE’S SIGNATURE ON ANYTHING TO GET A DIVORCE?

No, you don’t need your spouse’s consent to obtain divorce! If you want to end your marriage, your spouse’s refusal to cooperate will not prevent you from getting your divorce. If you’re worried you will be unable to move forward with your divorce because your spouse will not cooperate, let me ease your mind.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE FAILS TO RESPOND TO THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

Once the complaint for divorce has been served on your spouse, your spouse 21 days to file an answer with the court. If your spouse fails to file an answer in time, a Default can be entered with the court. The process is as follows:

After the time for responding has passed without an answer, a Notice of Default is filed and signed by the Clerk of Court
A copy of the notice of default is mailed to your spouse
A hearing will be set wherein you request to enter a default judgment
You would set a hearing date and send notice to your spouse (including a proposed judgment of divorce).
At the hearing, the judge will review the paperwork you’ve filed, will ask you some questions, and will ultimately issue a ruling on your divorce.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE WON’T SIGN THE JUDGMENT OF DIVORCE?

If your spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce or fails to respond to your complaint for divorce, you can request the court to enter a default judgment of divorce against your spouse.

IN SUMMARY

Your spouse may be saying a lot of things now that you are presenting them with the possibility of a divorce. If you are confused or concerned about what your spouse may be saying about your right or ability to file for divorce and have your divorce granted, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your options and rights.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Is The Difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?

June 2, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MEDIATION – DEFINED

Mediation is a process that allows you and your spouse to resolve conflict in a peaceful manner, outside of court. You and your spouse meet with a neutral third party who is trained in the mediation process (the mediator). The mediator will assist you and your spouse in discussing the outstanding issues, helping both of you review your options, so that you may reach an acceptable outcome of your differences.

KEY FEATURES OF MEDIATION

neutral person (mediator) helps you negotiate
mediator has no power to decide the case
informal
flexible
no obligation to hire an attorney
efficient—less time consuming than litigation
less expensive than litigation

BENEFITS TO PARTICIPATING IN MEDIATION

Mediation offers a less stressful option for you and your spouse. In the mediation process you and your spouse maintain total control over the outcome of your case. Once you and your spouse reach an agreement, the mediator will draft a mediation agreement that is binding in court. Therefore, there both you and your spouse are locked into the agreement. And mediation can save you both time and money verses litigating your case.

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE – DEFINED

In the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse resolve your issues in a respectful manner, using a team approach. The team assists both of you in crafting solutions in the best interest of each of you, without involving the judge to make a final decision. In the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse, your respective attorneys and a coach meet in a group setting. An agenda is set for each meeting, to assist the team to stay on track. These meetings are designed to encourage the sharing of ideas and settlement options. The collaborative divorce process requires you and your spouse to commit to work together, and agree to forgo litigation. When you and your spouse share the mindset that you want to control the end result of your divorce, and want to make decisions in the best interest of your children, the collaborative divorce process is a great solution to protracted and expensive litigation.

KEY FEATURES OF COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE

spouses are represented by collaborative attorneys
spouses and attorneys sign a “no court” agreement (attorneys must withdraw if case goes to court)
spouses and attorneys negotiate in “four-way” meetings
attorneys may recommend involving collaborative professionals
informal
flexible
more efficient and cost effective than litigation

BENEFITS TO PARTICIPATING IN A COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE

As in mediation, a collaborative divorce process a less stressful way for you and your spouse. The collaborative process provides flexibility over your divorce and total control over the outcome of your case. The collaborative process is more efficient and cost-effective than litigation. And your confidentiality is protected through the collaborative process.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE, MEDIATION AND LITIGATION

The parties agree to the collaborative divorce process, and agree to resolve their differences without court intervention.
The emphasis is on creating solutions that take into account each of the party’s needs and goals, and keeping the attention on the needs of their children.
The parties look to reach a fair and equitable settlement of all of their issues, while maintaining control of the final outcome.

WHICH PROCESS IS BEST FOR YOU?

Which process is right for you? There is no best answer for every case. Which approach to use is determined by the unique circumstances of your case, your individual preferences, and the availability of good mediators or collaborative attorneys.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or, contact us online to arrange a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504.

Divorce Fears – Part 4

May 22, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MOVING

You may be concerned about having to move. You’re concerned about how much it will cost you to move, such as moving expenses, security deposits, and perhaps having to purchase furniture and appliances. During the pendency of the divorce, these are issues that can be approached one at a time. And note, that just because a divorce has been filed doesn’t mean that you will be required to move out of the marital home immediately. So, there will be time to address when you will move out and how you will pay for your move.

As you and your spouse come to an agreement regarding the house, assets, and debts, you can discuss making funds available for the cost of moving out – where the money will come from and what time frame the money will be available. That way, when you are ready to make the move, you have the appropriate funds to do so.

LOSS OF SHARED TRADITIONS

You shared so much in your marriage – so many family and holiday traditions. Your divorce brings a new reality that you have lost someone that you thought was your best friend – your partner in life. And your divorce may mean you lose connection with members of your spouse’s family.

It’s true that divorce can mean a significant change in family and holiday traditions. You may even find you want to make changes to your family and holiday traditions because it’s just too painful to continue the old traditions you shared when you were married. But divorce now allows you the freedom to decide what traditions are important to you and allows you to create new traditions with your family and friends – traditions you can call your own.

PERSONAL FAILURE

Marriages fail for numerous reasons. And no one enters into a marriage contemplating divorce. So, does divorce equal failure? Not at all. The time you spent in your marriage can hardly be looked at as a failure as you loved each other and may have raised a family together.

Whether it was your decision or not, divorce can make us challenge our values. You may feel you let yourself or your family down. You struggle with your own sense of guilt. You think you are not worthy to move forward and seek happiness. You need to say to yourself that the relationship failed, but that doesn’t make you a failure.

Divorce shouldn’t be looked at as a failure, but as a chance to reinvent yourself. Adopt the belief that what’s behind you doesn’t’ define you or your future, and that you should never live life on a pass-fail basis. You didn’t fail, you tried. And hopefully you gave your marriage your all, and then had the courage to let each other go. That’s hardly a failure.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we are here for you each step of the way in your divorce. From planning your first steps, to approaching your separation, to helping you understand your rights, to signing the final documents. We can help you navigate the separation and divorce process. To get started today, book a consultation online or by calling Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you. Our office is located at: 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504

Divorce Fears – Part Three

May 15, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Perhaps you are still in shock that you find yourself in a situation of divorce. Your vision of your future never included divorce. Your new focus is now on finances, home, personal possessions, and children. And you wonder what your future will look like after you get through the legal process of your divorce. In Divorce Fears – Part Three, we will continue to discuss the challenges you may face while going through your divorce.

THE DIVORCE PROCESS

Like others, you’ve done some research online and are baffled and confused how to even get started. There seems like so much to know. What county do you file in, what paperwork do you need to file, how do you serve your spouse, should you retain an attorney, what do you next? Handling your divorce process is the job of your attorney. Having spent several years as a divorce attorney, I will help you navigate the divorce process, and be available for any questions or concerns you may have through each step of your divorce.

LOST FRIENDSHIPS

For some, a divorce may mean that your friends will take sides, and perhaps side with your spouse. And the loss of your support structure can be devastating. People that you thought were your good friends now turn their back, avoid you, or act awkward with you. But, over time, you will know who your real friends are – they are the people who are still standing by your side. Don’t worry about the rest – they will never support you, nor will you be able to fully trust them. Focus on the relationships that matter and that have and continue to provide you with support.

PETS

Do you and your spouse have pets? Many clients worry that they will be unable to afford their pets after the divorce, or that they will have to move to a new home that does not allow pets. Your pets are very much part of the family. And there are creative solutions! In the years as a divorce attorney, I have crafted pet visitation schedules for clients that allow for the “noncustodial” pet parent to continue seeing the family pet. I have also created pet plans that include the pet traveling back and forth on the same parenting schedule as the children. A divorce doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you never see your beloved pet again.

HELPING FAMILIES MOVE FORWARD

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part 2

May 8, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Whether you’ve chosen to end your marriage, or your spouse decided to file for divorce, it may be difficult to imagine how your life will be after the divorce is finalized. In Divorce Fears – Part Two, we will continue to discuss fears that you and many others encounter while going through your divorce.

THE MARITAL HOME AND CUSTODY

You may be concerned that if you’re unable to keep the marital home in after the divorce, you won’t be able to retain custody of the children. Fear not.

Judges understand that in every divorce, one or both of the parties will be required to relocate. Even if you can’t keep the marital home, it doesn’t reflect on your ability to provide a stable and loving home for your children. If you have to sell the marital home, or your spouse retains it, you can find a new home that will keep your children in the same school district. This would offer stability to your children. And perhaps you find a new home closer to your support structure (friends and family) that can lend assistance to you and your children during this transition period.

LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN

You worry you will lose your daily connection with your children. It’s true you won’t be able to see your children every day. But there are ways to navigate this issue such as zoom, skype, texting, and calls. Even small daily check-in’s can make this transition smoother for you and your children. And know that you and your spouse are experiencing the same fear of not being able to see the children daily after your divorce is finalized. It may feel lonely when you don’t have the children. However, this may be the time to focus on yourself, new friendships, and new interests. And when your children are with you, devote yourself to being the best parent you can be.

FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN

Let’s not forget your children have divorce fears of their own. They may be concerned with who they will live with, if they have to choose between you and your spouse, if they have to attend a new school, if they have to move to a new home, if they have to lose their friends, and if they will still be able to participate in their extracurricular activities.

Your children maybe struggling emotionally, and you need assist them through this process. How can you help them? As parents, it’s our obligation to answer our children’s questions honestly, and age appropriately. This is not to say you should talk to your children about the details of your divorce. But you need to reassure them that you both still love them and are co-parenting to make good decisions on their behalf.

You and your spouse need to set your differences aside, learn to co-parent, and come up with a plan that works for everyone (including your children). This is the time to look out for your children and keep their best interests in mind at all times.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part I

May 1, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Divorce is a time of uncertainty. And fear in divorce is a reality and to be expected. You’re about to experience major changes in your life. You wonder what life will be like after your divorce. You fear the unknown. You worry about how your divorce will impact your life moving forward. You worry about how your children will handle your divorce. Even if you and your spouse have agreed to the terms of your divorce, you still worry what you and your children’s future will look like. And you wonder if you will be able to financially survive after your divorce.

Many of these concerns are shared by most people as they end their marriage. So, what are some of the divorce fears you may be encountering? The following are some common divorce fears:

RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

Do you fear you will be required to divide your retirement accounts, and wonder if you will be able to retire as planned? It’s common for you to be concerned about keeping your retirement accounts intact. However, if the money in your retirement account was earned during the marriage, it will be considered marital and will be divided as any other marital asset would be. This can be a setback for your retirement plans, and it may be smart to talk to your financial planner to discuss your options.

FAIR SETTLEMENT

You’re concerned you won’t obtain a fair settlement or fair division of the marital assets. It’s important for you to know that judges make their decisions on equity and fairness. It’s not reality that one party walks out with everything, leaving the other party destitute. Therefore, your fear that you will be left out in the cold is not supported by Michigan law. You will receive a fair and equitable division of the marital estate.

FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

You wonder if you will be able to support yourself after the divorce. Perhaps you’ve been out of the workforce for several years, and have little education or job skills. You ask yourself if you will have to go back to work in order to support yourself. You wonder if you’ll be able to make it on one income. You wonder if it’s a good time to go back to school and so that you can obtain employment that will offer you a better income opportunity. These are very real fears for parties who have been the stay-at-home parent. Once again, there is time while the divorce is ongoing to examine your specific situation and financial needs.

In summary, financial fears during a divorce are very real. You wonder if you can retire on time, or if you will be homeless. Divorce often means that you will have to adjust to living on a smaller budget, that you may have to go back to work, or increase your hours at work. However, it is possible to rebuild your sense of financial security after your divorce and regain your financial freedom.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Can My Ex Buy Cell Phones For Our Child?

April 27, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

What happens when your ex buys cell phones for your child and you don’t agree with that decision? And you don’t agree with the child possessing and using the cell phone during your parenting time. What can you do?

IS IT A JOINT LEGAL DECISION OR NOT?

WHAT THE COURTS SAY

The Michigan courts are not settled in their opinions about whether or not a child having a cell phone is a joint legal decision. Some judges believe that it is a joint legal decision, due to the inherent risks posed due to the access to the internet and social media. Conversely, other judges believe it is not, that it is a routine decision allowing for parental discretion while a child is in their care.

ROUTINE DECISION

If the court believe that the purchase of a cell phone is a routine decision, then your ex would have parental discretion over the use, restriction, or possession of that cell phone while your child is in their care. Therefore, your ex can purchase a cell phone for your child and allow them to use it during their parenting time.

BUT IT IS STILL YOUR DISCRETION

However, this doesn’t mean your ex can require you allow your child use of the cell phone when your child is at your house. It is within your discretion to prohibit the phone’s use during your parenting time (just like you having the ability to limit screen time or ground your child from a devise as a punishment). This means your ex can’t force you to allow your child use of the cell phone during your parenting time, as access to a cell phone during parenting time is a routine parenting decision that is within your discretion.

The general rule is “It’s your house – your rules, and their house – their rules”.

TRANSPORT OF THE CELL PHONE TO YOUR HOUSE

WHAT THE COURT SAYS

But what happens when your ex allows your child to transport the cell phone to your home during your parenting time? Some judges have ruled that the cell phone will not be transported with the child to the other parent’s home. Why? Because you shouldn’t be responsible for a lost or stolen phone and your ex expecting you to pay for a new cell phone.

But now you become the bad guy with your child. If you never agreed to the purchase of the cell phone in the first place, this puts you in the position of either taking the cell phone away when your child arrives at your home or having to restrict your child’s use of the cell phone. Inform your ex that the cell phone can’t be transported with the child.

And you don’t want to be put in the position of micromanaging your child’s use: social media, the internet, who they may be talking to, or texting. Most likely, this was the very reason you did not want your child having a cell phone – the concern about what your child is accessing on that cell phone. And perhaps you believe your child is too young to have a cell phone, and that there is no legitimate reason for your child to need a cell phone.

WE CAN HELP! GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We know your legal issues are unique and special. If you are having a post-divorce issue related to your children’s use of cell phone, the internet, or social media, call us, we will listen. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

What Happens When We Don’t Agree On Extra-Curricular Activities For The Children?

April 24, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Does your judgment of divorce contain provisions regarding the terms of extra-curricular activities for the children? Does it define who will pay for the extra-curricular activities? Does it state how many extra-curricular activities the children may participate in at one time? Does it specifically state what activities the children may participate in? If so, your judgment of divorce controls. If not, now what?

Extra Curricular Activities and Children

HOW DO COURTS DECIDE DISPUTES

Courts look to the best interest of the children when evaluating extra-curricular activity disputes between parents.

COMMON QUESTIONS

The following are some of the top questions of clients regarding extra-curricular activities and the possible rulings judges may make:

Question: Can my ex unilaterally enroll the children in extra-curricular activities?

Possible Ruling: Some judges say that if your ex enrolls your child in an extra-curricular activity without seeking your permission, the activity must be on your ex’s parenting time. The general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: Does your ex expect you to pay for an extra-curricular activity that you did not agree to?

Possible Ruling: Judges may rule that your ex would remain solely responsible for enrollment fees/costs. Once again, the general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: What if you and your ex can’t agree on extra-curricular activities for your child?

Possible Ruling: When you and your ex can’t agree to extra-curricular activities for your child, judges may rule that you each will rotate with enrollment choices. This means that this quarter you get to select the extra-curricular activity and next quarter your ex gets to select. Also, the judge would consider how long the child has been involved in a specific extra-curricular activity. Judges will typically say that if the child has been involved in an activity in the past (or while you were married), they will remain enrolled in that activity.

Question: Does the extra-curricular activity impact your ability to have meaningful parenting time with your children?

Possible Ruling: Judges have also ruled that there will be a limit the number of activities a child can participate in at one time. The premise is that your child shouldn’t be enrolled in so many activities that it negatively impacts you or your ex’s parenting time. The child’s extra-curricular activity should enhance their lives, not keep them constantly on the run.

Question: Who is responsible for transportation to and from the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: If you and your ex agreed to the activity, you will be responsible for transportation during your parenting time. If there was no agreement, it is likely your ex will be solely responsible for transportation.

Question: What happens if my ex refuses to take our child to the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: Judges have gone different directions on this issue. Some judges will not require a parent to take the child to the extra-curricular activity during their parenting time, while other judges will require parents to do so.

VALUE IN EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Participation in extra-curricular activities is good for children as it builds self-esteem, teaches them how to be a part of a team, helps them make friends that share in common interests, and teaches them about winning and losing. And if your child excels in a particular extra-curricular activity, it could mean a college scholarship. So, even if you didn’t agree to your child participating in an extra-curricular activity, and it lands on your parenting time, there may be value in allowing them to participate versus fighting with your ex about it.

Disclaimer: Many of the answers to the above questions are judge dependent. The true answer is “It just depends” on your specific judge. The outcome to all extra-curricular activity disputes can be very different based on your judge. If you’re having issues with your ex related to extra-curricular activities for your children, call Schmitt Law, PLLC to see how we can assist.

AN ATTORNEY WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, our clients benefit from years of experience. We treat every client as an individual, taking the time to understand your unique situation, so as to best advise you on the steps you should take. Whatever stage your life is at, you can trust Schmitt Law, PLLC to guide you through the legal process with expertise and compassion, because we understand that family comes first. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Laurie Schmitt

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