Collaborative Divorce

Divorce Is Not The End Of The World

June 12, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

It’s very difficult to accept a failing marriage. You wanted your relationship to work. You put your all into it. And you really don’t want a divorce. But deep down you realize even with all of your efforts and sacrifices, your relationship is no longer healthy or positive for either of you. And you have accepted that divorce is the best option. But it still feels like your divorce will be the end of the world. But it won’t be, and here’s why.

FRESH START

You and your spouse worked hard to build your life together – creating a lifestyle that suited your marriage. And now you feel you are losing everything and will need to start again. However, you have a chance at a fresh start: preserve the habits, hobbies, and lifestyle you want. You can keep what suits you, and even look for new and exciting choices such as new hobbies, traveling, or redecorating. And you may feel free to let go of those habits, hobbies and lifestyle that no longer work for you.

HAPPIER YOU

Your life no longer has to focus on the day-to-day challenges you faced while you were married. You no longer have to find reasons to stay late at the office, and dread going home. You now have total control…and are free to pursue happiness.

NEW OPPORTUNITIES

Your divorce opens up opportunities for you to make choices that perhaps your spouse was not in favor of during your marriage. It could be as simple as getting a new hairstyle, or a new hair color. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to work out with a professional trainer, and your spouse thought that idea was stupid. Or maybe you want to eat better. It’s your world and you get to create it. This is your time to do all of the things you have always wanted to.

HAPPIER CHILDREN

Your divorce means that your children are no longer subjected to the day-today turbulence your marital home had. That means your children are no longer in the middle of your marital struggles and living in an unhappy home. You and your spouse may now provide your children with two positive and happy homes.

FOCUS ON YOUR CHILDREN

Your divorce allows you to focus on your children. Perhaps you want to develop stronger relationships with your children. Now that your focus is no longer on your marriage and/or divorce, you are free to have more meaningful time with your children. You can make your time with your children be everything you want it to be.

IN SUMMARY

Divorce is not the end of the world because it opens new pathways for you to go down. Explore those pathways and let your divorce be the start of your new life, a new beginning, and a fresh start.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or, contact us online to arrange a consultation. Our offices are located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

What If My Spouse Won’t Cooperate? Can I Still Obtain A Divorce?

June 7, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I hear these phrases daily: My spouse won’t sign for the divorce papers or my spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce. These are classics, and are common concerns expressed by many clients. Don’t fear. You can proceed with your divorce even if your spouse will “not sign the papers”!

CAN I FILE FOR A DIVORCE IF MY SPOUSE WON’T COOPERATE?

Yes, you can seek a divorce with or without your spouse’s permission or participation. You have the right to file for divorce in a court that has jurisdiction over your marriage. Your spouse may be telling you that they will not cooperate and therefore you can’t get a divorce. But, your spouse’s lack of consent or cooperation will delay your divorce, but not prevent it. A contentious divorce may take longer than when parties cooperate. But your divorce will be granted.

DOES MY SPOUSE NEED TO SIGN FOR THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

NO, your spouse will not be required to sign anything when they are served with a complaint for divorce. Once your complaint for divorce is filed with the court, then it must be served on your spouse. This can be done several ways. However, if your spouse is uncooperative from the beginning, the best way to ensure appropriate service is through a process server. The process server need only hand the documents to your spouse. Your spouse does not need to sign for service, nor sign that they have accepted any of the divorce documents.

DO I NEED MY SPOUSE’S SIGNATURE ON ANYTHING TO GET A DIVORCE?

No, you don’t need your spouse’s consent to obtain divorce! If you want to end your marriage, your spouse’s refusal to cooperate will not prevent you from getting your divorce. If you’re worried you will be unable to move forward with your divorce because your spouse will not cooperate, let me ease your mind.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE FAILS TO RESPOND TO THE COMPLAINT FOR DIVORCE?

Once the complaint for divorce has been served on your spouse, your spouse 21 days to file an answer with the court. If your spouse fails to file an answer in time, a Default can be entered with the court. The process is as follows:

After the time for responding has passed without an answer, a Notice of Default is filed and signed by the Clerk of Court
A copy of the notice of default is mailed to your spouse
A hearing will be set wherein you request to enter a default judgment
You would set a hearing date and send notice to your spouse (including a proposed judgment of divorce).
At the hearing, the judge will review the paperwork you’ve filed, will ask you some questions, and will ultimately issue a ruling on your divorce.

WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SPOUSE WON’T SIGN THE JUDGMENT OF DIVORCE?

If your spouse won’t sign the judgment of divorce or fails to respond to your complaint for divorce, you can request the court to enter a default judgment of divorce against your spouse.

IN SUMMARY

Your spouse may be saying a lot of things now that you are presenting them with the possibility of a divorce. If you are confused or concerned about what your spouse may be saying about your right or ability to file for divorce and have your divorce granted, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to discuss your options and rights.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Is The Difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?

June 2, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MEDIATION – DEFINED

Mediation is a process that allows you and your spouse to resolve conflict in a peaceful manner, outside of court. You and your spouse meet with a neutral third party who is trained in the mediation process (the mediator). The mediator will assist you and your spouse in discussing the outstanding issues, helping both of you review your options, so that you may reach an acceptable outcome of your differences.

KEY FEATURES OF MEDIATION

neutral person (mediator) helps you negotiate
mediator has no power to decide the case
informal
flexible
no obligation to hire an attorney
efficient—less time consuming than litigation
less expensive than litigation

BENEFITS TO PARTICIPATING IN MEDIATION

Mediation offers a less stressful option for you and your spouse. In the mediation process you and your spouse maintain total control over the outcome of your case. Once you and your spouse reach an agreement, the mediator will draft a mediation agreement that is binding in court. Therefore, there both you and your spouse are locked into the agreement. And mediation can save you both time and money verses litigating your case.

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE – DEFINED

In the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse resolve your issues in a respectful manner, using a team approach. The team assists both of you in crafting solutions in the best interest of each of you, without involving the judge to make a final decision. In the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse, your respective attorneys and a coach meet in a group setting. An agenda is set for each meeting, to assist the team to stay on track. These meetings are designed to encourage the sharing of ideas and settlement options. The collaborative divorce process requires you and your spouse to commit to work together, and agree to forgo litigation. When you and your spouse share the mindset that you want to control the end result of your divorce, and want to make decisions in the best interest of your children, the collaborative divorce process is a great solution to protracted and expensive litigation.

KEY FEATURES OF COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE

spouses are represented by collaborative attorneys
spouses and attorneys sign a “no court” agreement (attorneys must withdraw if case goes to court)
spouses and attorneys negotiate in “four-way” meetings
attorneys may recommend involving collaborative professionals
informal
flexible
more efficient and cost effective than litigation

BENEFITS TO PARTICIPATING IN A COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE

As in mediation, a collaborative divorce process a less stressful way for you and your spouse. The collaborative process provides flexibility over your divorce and total control over the outcome of your case. The collaborative process is more efficient and cost-effective than litigation. And your confidentiality is protected through the collaborative process.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE, MEDIATION AND LITIGATION

The parties agree to the collaborative divorce process, and agree to resolve their differences without court intervention.
The emphasis is on creating solutions that take into account each of the party’s needs and goals, and keeping the attention on the needs of their children.
The parties look to reach a fair and equitable settlement of all of their issues, while maintaining control of the final outcome.

WHICH PROCESS IS BEST FOR YOU?

Which process is right for you? There is no best answer for every case. Which approach to use is determined by the unique circumstances of your case, your individual preferences, and the availability of good mediators or collaborative attorneys.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or, contact us online to arrange a consultation. Our office is located at 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504.

Divorce Fears – Part 4

May 22, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MOVING

You may be concerned about having to move. You’re concerned about how much it will cost you to move, such as moving expenses, security deposits, and perhaps having to purchase furniture and appliances. During the pendency of the divorce, these are issues that can be approached one at a time. And note, that just because a divorce has been filed doesn’t mean that you will be required to move out of the marital home immediately. So, there will be time to address when you will move out and how you will pay for your move.

As you and your spouse come to an agreement regarding the house, assets, and debts, you can discuss making funds available for the cost of moving out – where the money will come from and what time frame the money will be available. That way, when you are ready to make the move, you have the appropriate funds to do so.

LOSS OF SHARED TRADITIONS

You shared so much in your marriage – so many family and holiday traditions. Your divorce brings a new reality that you have lost someone that you thought was your best friend – your partner in life. And your divorce may mean you lose connection with members of your spouse’s family.

It’s true that divorce can mean a significant change in family and holiday traditions. You may even find you want to make changes to your family and holiday traditions because it’s just too painful to continue the old traditions you shared when you were married. But divorce now allows you the freedom to decide what traditions are important to you and allows you to create new traditions with your family and friends – traditions you can call your own.

PERSONAL FAILURE

Marriages fail for numerous reasons. And no one enters into a marriage contemplating divorce. So, does divorce equal failure? Not at all. The time you spent in your marriage can hardly be looked at as a failure as you loved each other and may have raised a family together.

Whether it was your decision or not, divorce can make us challenge our values. You may feel you let yourself or your family down. You struggle with your own sense of guilt. You think you are not worthy to move forward and seek happiness. You need to say to yourself that the relationship failed, but that doesn’t make you a failure.

Divorce shouldn’t be looked at as a failure, but as a chance to reinvent yourself. Adopt the belief that what’s behind you doesn’t’ define you or your future, and that you should never live life on a pass-fail basis. You didn’t fail, you tried. And hopefully you gave your marriage your all, and then had the courage to let each other go. That’s hardly a failure.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we are here for you each step of the way in your divorce. From planning your first steps, to approaching your separation, to helping you understand your rights, to signing the final documents. We can help you navigate the separation and divorce process. To get started today, book a consultation online or by calling Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you. Our office is located at: 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504

Divorce Fears – Part Three

May 15, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Perhaps you are still in shock that you find yourself in a situation of divorce. Your vision of your future never included divorce. Your new focus is now on finances, home, personal possessions, and children. And you wonder what your future will look like after you get through the legal process of your divorce. In Divorce Fears – Part Three, we will continue to discuss the challenges you may face while going through your divorce.

THE DIVORCE PROCESS

Like others, you’ve done some research online and are baffled and confused how to even get started. There seems like so much to know. What county do you file in, what paperwork do you need to file, how do you serve your spouse, should you retain an attorney, what do you next? Handling your divorce process is the job of your attorney. Having spent several years as a divorce attorney, I will help you navigate the divorce process, and be available for any questions or concerns you may have through each step of your divorce.

LOST FRIENDSHIPS

For some, a divorce may mean that your friends will take sides, and perhaps side with your spouse. And the loss of your support structure can be devastating. People that you thought were your good friends now turn their back, avoid you, or act awkward with you. But, over time, you will know who your real friends are – they are the people who are still standing by your side. Don’t worry about the rest – they will never support you, nor will you be able to fully trust them. Focus on the relationships that matter and that have and continue to provide you with support.

PETS

Do you and your spouse have pets? Many clients worry that they will be unable to afford their pets after the divorce, or that they will have to move to a new home that does not allow pets. Your pets are very much part of the family. And there are creative solutions! In the years as a divorce attorney, I have crafted pet visitation schedules for clients that allow for the “noncustodial” pet parent to continue seeing the family pet. I have also created pet plans that include the pet traveling back and forth on the same parenting schedule as the children. A divorce doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you never see your beloved pet again.

HELPING FAMILIES MOVE FORWARD

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part 2

May 8, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Whether you’ve chosen to end your marriage, or your spouse decided to file for divorce, it may be difficult to imagine how your life will be after the divorce is finalized. In Divorce Fears – Part Two, we will continue to discuss fears that you and many others encounter while going through your divorce.

THE MARITAL HOME AND CUSTODY

You may be concerned that if you’re unable to keep the marital home in after the divorce, you won’t be able to retain custody of the children. Fear not.

Judges understand that in every divorce, one or both of the parties will be required to relocate. Even if you can’t keep the marital home, it doesn’t reflect on your ability to provide a stable and loving home for your children. If you have to sell the marital home, or your spouse retains it, you can find a new home that will keep your children in the same school district. This would offer stability to your children. And perhaps you find a new home closer to your support structure (friends and family) that can lend assistance to you and your children during this transition period.

LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN

You worry you will lose your daily connection with your children. It’s true you won’t be able to see your children every day. But there are ways to navigate this issue such as zoom, skype, texting, and calls. Even small daily check-in’s can make this transition smoother for you and your children. And know that you and your spouse are experiencing the same fear of not being able to see the children daily after your divorce is finalized. It may feel lonely when you don’t have the children. However, this may be the time to focus on yourself, new friendships, and new interests. And when your children are with you, devote yourself to being the best parent you can be.

FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN

Let’s not forget your children have divorce fears of their own. They may be concerned with who they will live with, if they have to choose between you and your spouse, if they have to attend a new school, if they have to move to a new home, if they have to lose their friends, and if they will still be able to participate in their extracurricular activities.

Your children maybe struggling emotionally, and you need assist them through this process. How can you help them? As parents, it’s our obligation to answer our children’s questions honestly, and age appropriately. This is not to say you should talk to your children about the details of your divorce. But you need to reassure them that you both still love them and are co-parenting to make good decisions on their behalf.

You and your spouse need to set your differences aside, learn to co-parent, and come up with a plan that works for everyone (including your children). This is the time to look out for your children and keep their best interests in mind at all times.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part I

May 1, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Divorce is a time of uncertainty. And fear in divorce is a reality and to be expected. You’re about to experience major changes in your life. You wonder what life will be like after your divorce. You fear the unknown. You worry about how your divorce will impact your life moving forward. You worry about how your children will handle your divorce. Even if you and your spouse have agreed to the terms of your divorce, you still worry what you and your children’s future will look like. And you wonder if you will be able to financially survive after your divorce.

Many of these concerns are shared by most people as they end their marriage. So, what are some of the divorce fears you may be encountering? The following are some common divorce fears:

RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

Do you fear you will be required to divide your retirement accounts, and wonder if you will be able to retire as planned? It’s common for you to be concerned about keeping your retirement accounts intact. However, if the money in your retirement account was earned during the marriage, it will be considered marital and will be divided as any other marital asset would be. This can be a setback for your retirement plans, and it may be smart to talk to your financial planner to discuss your options.

FAIR SETTLEMENT

You’re concerned you won’t obtain a fair settlement or fair division of the marital assets. It’s important for you to know that judges make their decisions on equity and fairness. It’s not reality that one party walks out with everything, leaving the other party destitute. Therefore, your fear that you will be left out in the cold is not supported by Michigan law. You will receive a fair and equitable division of the marital estate.

FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

You wonder if you will be able to support yourself after the divorce. Perhaps you’ve been out of the workforce for several years, and have little education or job skills. You ask yourself if you will have to go back to work in order to support yourself. You wonder if you’ll be able to make it on one income. You wonder if it’s a good time to go back to school and so that you can obtain employment that will offer you a better income opportunity. These are very real fears for parties who have been the stay-at-home parent. Once again, there is time while the divorce is ongoing to examine your specific situation and financial needs.

In summary, financial fears during a divorce are very real. You wonder if you can retire on time, or if you will be homeless. Divorce often means that you will have to adjust to living on a smaller budget, that you may have to go back to work, or increase your hours at work. However, it is possible to rebuild your sense of financial security after your divorce and regain your financial freedom.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

The Economic Impact of Divorce – The Financial Storm

April 20, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

The cost of food has risen. The housing market remains unpredictable- values soaring and values crashing. The cost of gas has gone sky high, with no end in sight. Consumers have experienced a significant drop in purchasing power. So, how can a weak economy impact your divorce?

It can be an added stressor if you’re not financially prepared for your new economic reality: a single income. And you need to quickly assess how far your income will go in today’s economic climate. You need to be prepared to weather the storm. If you’re going through a divorce, the following are a few tips on how to get through the financial storm:

INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS: Many people have watched their retirement/investment accounts drop in value. What does this mean to you? This could delay your retirement plans. Work with your financial advisor to see what you can do to reduce your loss and stay on track with your retirement plans.

EMPLOYMENT: Employment security can be in question. You think you have job security. But that may be further from the truth than you think. Businesses are laying off staff and closing their doors in record numbers. When you’re at work, keep your divorce conversation low key. You don’t want management to think you’re unable to perform effectively because of divorce drama.

SUPPLEMENTING YOUR INCOME: Prepare a realistic budget for your new single income status. Perhaps you may need to consider seeking a part time job to supplement your first income. Leave enough room in your new budget for unexpected expenses.

WATCH YOUR SPENDING: Don’t make unnecessary major purchases. Be mindful about how you’re spending your money. After the divorce you may need transportation. But it doesn’t mean you need a new car. And of course, you need a place to live after the divorce. But it doesn’t mean you need to put yourself in a position of being rent or mortgage poor.

MANAGE YOUR COSTS: Review your cell service plan, cable service, subscriptions, memberships, club memberships, gym memberships, and other monthly spending. Ask yourself if these are necessary expenses, or just extra spending you can live without.

DOWNSIZING: If you had “toys” such as boats, motorcycles, campers, and snowmobiles during your marriage, you need to carefully contemplate your ability to afford them after your divorce. Not only do they cost money to purchase, but they cost money to maintain and use them. It may no longer be reasonable for you in your new single status to keep recreational vehicles that you and your spouse purchased while married.

LEARN TO COOK: Dining out can be considered a luxury. And even if you say I only go out for fast food, frequent trips to fast food restaurants can add up to thousands of dollars a year.

COFFEE: Learn to make your own coffee! Spending $5 cup for a cup of coffee five times a week equals $1200 a year. What else could you do with an additional $1200 a year?

TAX CONSEQUENCES: You need to review your tax withholding and estimate tax payments for any necessary adjustments which may need to be made to reflect your new single status. Contact your accountant or talk to your human resources department to make sure you are paying taxes at your new single status.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. And we understand the negative impact a divorce can have on financial security. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Collaborative Divorce

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