Divorce

Divorce Fears – Part 4

May 22, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

MOVING

You may be concerned about having to move. You’re concerned about how much it will cost you to move, such as moving expenses, security deposits, and perhaps having to purchase furniture and appliances. During the pendency of the divorce, these are issues that can be approached one at a time. And note, that just because a divorce has been filed doesn’t mean that you will be required to move out of the marital home immediately. So, there will be time to address when you will move out and how you will pay for your move.

As you and your spouse come to an agreement regarding the house, assets, and debts, you can discuss making funds available for the cost of moving out – where the money will come from and what time frame the money will be available. That way, when you are ready to make the move, you have the appropriate funds to do so.

LOSS OF SHARED TRADITIONS

You shared so much in your marriage – so many family and holiday traditions. Your divorce brings a new reality that you have lost someone that you thought was your best friend – your partner in life. And your divorce may mean you lose connection with members of your spouse’s family.

It’s true that divorce can mean a significant change in family and holiday traditions. You may even find you want to make changes to your family and holiday traditions because it’s just too painful to continue the old traditions you shared when you were married. But divorce now allows you the freedom to decide what traditions are important to you and allows you to create new traditions with your family and friends – traditions you can call your own.

PERSONAL FAILURE

Marriages fail for numerous reasons. And no one enters into a marriage contemplating divorce. So, does divorce equal failure? Not at all. The time you spent in your marriage can hardly be looked at as a failure as you loved each other and may have raised a family together.

Whether it was your decision or not, divorce can make us challenge our values. You may feel you let yourself or your family down. You struggle with your own sense of guilt. You think you are not worthy to move forward and seek happiness. You need to say to yourself that the relationship failed, but that doesn’t make you a failure.

Divorce shouldn’t be looked at as a failure, but as a chance to reinvent yourself. Adopt the belief that what’s behind you doesn’t’ define you or your future, and that you should never live life on a pass-fail basis. You didn’t fail, you tried. And hopefully you gave your marriage your all, and then had the courage to let each other go. That’s hardly a failure.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we are here for you each step of the way in your divorce. From planning your first steps, to approaching your separation, to helping you understand your rights, to signing the final documents. We can help you navigate the separation and divorce process. To get started today, book a consultation online or by calling Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you. Our office is located at: 401 Hall St. Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49504

Divorce Fears – Part 2

May 8, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Whether you’ve chosen to end your marriage, or your spouse decided to file for divorce, it may be difficult to imagine how your life will be after the divorce is finalized. In Divorce Fears – Part Two, we will continue to discuss fears that you and many others encounter while going through your divorce.

THE MARITAL HOME AND CUSTODY

You may be concerned that if you’re unable to keep the marital home in after the divorce, you won’t be able to retain custody of the children. Fear not.

Judges understand that in every divorce, one or both of the parties will be required to relocate. Even if you can’t keep the marital home, it doesn’t reflect on your ability to provide a stable and loving home for your children. If you have to sell the marital home, or your spouse retains it, you can find a new home that will keep your children in the same school district. This would offer stability to your children. And perhaps you find a new home closer to your support structure (friends and family) that can lend assistance to you and your children during this transition period.

LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN

You worry you will lose your daily connection with your children. It’s true you won’t be able to see your children every day. But there are ways to navigate this issue such as zoom, skype, texting, and calls. Even small daily check-in’s can make this transition smoother for you and your children. And know that you and your spouse are experiencing the same fear of not being able to see the children daily after your divorce is finalized. It may feel lonely when you don’t have the children. However, this may be the time to focus on yourself, new friendships, and new interests. And when your children are with you, devote yourself to being the best parent you can be.

FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN

Let’s not forget your children have divorce fears of their own. They may be concerned with who they will live with, if they have to choose between you and your spouse, if they have to attend a new school, if they have to move to a new home, if they have to lose their friends, and if they will still be able to participate in their extracurricular activities.

Your children maybe struggling emotionally, and you need assist them through this process. How can you help them? As parents, it’s our obligation to answer our children’s questions honestly, and age appropriately. This is not to say you should talk to your children about the details of your divorce. But you need to reassure them that you both still love them and are co-parenting to make good decisions on their behalf.

You and your spouse need to set your differences aside, learn to co-parent, and come up with a plan that works for everyone (including your children). This is the time to look out for your children and keep their best interests in mind at all times.

HELPING PEOPLE START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THEIR LIVES

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Divorce Fears – Part I

May 1, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Divorce is a time of uncertainty. And fear in divorce is a reality and to be expected. You’re about to experience major changes in your life. You wonder what life will be like after your divorce. You fear the unknown. You worry about how your divorce will impact your life moving forward. You worry about how your children will handle your divorce. Even if you and your spouse have agreed to the terms of your divorce, you still worry what you and your children’s future will look like. And you wonder if you will be able to financially survive after your divorce.

Many of these concerns are shared by most people as they end their marriage. So, what are some of the divorce fears you may be encountering? The following are some common divorce fears:

RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

Do you fear you will be required to divide your retirement accounts, and wonder if you will be able to retire as planned? It’s common for you to be concerned about keeping your retirement accounts intact. However, if the money in your retirement account was earned during the marriage, it will be considered marital and will be divided as any other marital asset would be. This can be a setback for your retirement plans, and it may be smart to talk to your financial planner to discuss your options.

FAIR SETTLEMENT

You’re concerned you won’t obtain a fair settlement or fair division of the marital assets. It’s important for you to know that judges make their decisions on equity and fairness. It’s not reality that one party walks out with everything, leaving the other party destitute. Therefore, your fear that you will be left out in the cold is not supported by Michigan law. You will receive a fair and equitable division of the marital estate.

FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

You wonder if you will be able to support yourself after the divorce. Perhaps you’ve been out of the workforce for several years, and have little education or job skills. You ask yourself if you will have to go back to work in order to support yourself. You wonder if you’ll be able to make it on one income. You wonder if it’s a good time to go back to school and so that you can obtain employment that will offer you a better income opportunity. These are very real fears for parties who have been the stay-at-home parent. Once again, there is time while the divorce is ongoing to examine your specific situation and financial needs.

In summary, financial fears during a divorce are very real. You wonder if you can retire on time, or if you will be homeless. Divorce often means that you will have to adjust to living on a smaller budget, that you may have to go back to work, or increase your hours at work. However, it is possible to rebuild your sense of financial security after your divorce and regain your financial freedom.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS FOR FAMILIES

My Spouse Just Asked For A Divorce, What Do I Do?

March 20, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Your spouse just asked for a divorce. It may be that you never saw this coming, have been completely blindsided by this news, and are shocked and confused. Or maybe you knew this conversation was coming. Either way, it’s hard to hear your spouse say “I want a divorce”.

Now that the actual “divorce” word has been spoken, you’re not sure what your next step should be. Should you take action? Or, do you wait for your spouse to make the next move? It seems so overwhelming.

WHY SHOULD YOU SEEK A CONSULTATION WITH A DIVORCE ATTORNEY BEFORE YOUR DIVORCE IS EVEN FILED?

If your spouse just informed you that they want a divorce, it’s time for you to take action and seek a consultation with a divorce attorney. You don’t have to be the one to file the divorce. But at this point, you need to understand your rights and obligations as it relates to a divorce.

WHAT SHOULD YOU TALK ABOUT AT THE INTIAL CONSULTATION?

During your consultation you should ask questions about the divorce process and issue that specifically relate to your situation. If you have minor children you need to discuss custody, parenting time, and child support. If you own a home, you need to talk about what will happen with the home. If you have personal property, you need to know how it will be divided. If you have retirement accounts, you need to talk about how these accounts will be divided. If you have a long-term marriage, you want to find out if you are entitled to spousal support (or if you will have an obligation to pay). If you own a business, you should understand how that business interest will be divided.

WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF A CONSULTATION?

With knowledge comes peace of mind. By seeking a consultation with a divorce attorney now, you can obtain answers to your questions before your family, friends, and spouse share their opinions. By seeking a consultation now, you can learn how the divorce process really works, and what possible outcomes you can expect – it can help you understand what will happen and take steps to face it. You do not want to face this challenge alone and should seek legal representation to guide you through the divorce process.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Your Divorce Attorney Cannot Do For You

March 16, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

If you are about to file for divorce, it’s important you to know what your divorce attorney can’t do for you. The following are things your divorce attorney can’t do for you.

CHANGE THE MICHIGAN LAW

Simply put, your divorce attorney doesn’t have a magic wand to change the law as it relates to your divorce case. You may love what position the Michigan law supports, or not. But your divorce attorney can’t change the law.

SPEED UP YOUR CASE

Your divorce attorney can’t change the mandatory waiting period in your divorce case. Michigan law establishes waiting periods depending on the individual circumstances.

If you do not have minor children of the marriage: There is a two-month waiting period after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.
If you have minor children of the marriage: There is a six-month waiting period after the after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.

A Judgment of Divorce cannot be entered earlier than these established times.

ACT UNETHICALLY

When your divorce attorney represents you, they must do so within the applicable parameters of Michigan law. This means your divorce attorney can’t be required to engage in conduct that is illegal, unethical, or fraudulent. If your divorce attorney can’t ethically abide by your requests, they must withdraw from representing you.

TAKE ACTION AGAINST THE BEST INTEREST OF YOUR CHILD(REN)

If your divorce involves minor children, your divorce attorney will refuse to engage in conduct that, in their professional judgment and knowledge of the law, would be contrary to the best interests of Client’s minor child(ren). This means your attorney can’t assert any position or engage in any action that they deem contrary to the minor child(ren)’s best interests.

COMMUNICATE WITH THIRD PARTIES

Your divorce attorney can’t talk to third parties, and must protect information relating to the representation of you from disclosure to third parties. If you wish for your divorce attorney to speak to third parties such as family members, you must provide them with specific consent to do so.

MAKE PROMISES ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF YOUR CASE

Your divorce attorney can’t make any representation to you, nor any assurances as to the favorable or successful resolution of your case. This means your divorce attorney can’t promise you a specific outcome, nor make promises as to the nature or amount of any awards or distributions of property, attorney’s fees, costs, or any other aspect in your divorce. It’s important to note that your divorce attorney can’t promise you particular results as the court has the sole power to decide all issues.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

If you are contemplating or in the process of a divorce or separation, contact the Michigan divorce attorney, Schmitt Law, PLLC. Our office understands that family law matters often involve complex relationships and dynamics that can enhance decision-making stress. We provide clients with the security to approach these challenges with confidence. Our dedicated attorney will provide clients with individualized attention and strategic case preparation to address all parts of their cases. We invite you to contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

The Most Frequently Asked Questions As It Relates To Divorce

March 6, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

1. WHAT WILL THE TOTAL COST OF ATTORNEY’S FEES BE IN MY DIVORCE CASE?

There is no one size fits all answer for this question. The total cost of attorney’s fees for your divorce will depend on many factors such as who you retain as your divorce attorney, their hourly rate, the complexity of the issues in your divorce, are you able to reach an agreement before or at mediation, will your case require discovery, and will your case require a trial.

2. HOW LONG WILL MY DIVORCE CASE TAKE TO COMPLETE?

Michigan law establishes statutory waiting periods depending on the individual circumstances.

If you do not have minor children of the marriage: There is a two-month waiting period after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.
If you have minor children of the marriage: There is a six-month waiting period after the after the filing of the Verified Complaint for Divorce has been filed.

A Judgment of Divorce cannot be entered earlier than these established times.

3. IS PARTICIPATION IN THE MEDIATION PROCESS MANDATORY IN A DIVORCE?

In many counties in Michigan the judge will require attendance at mediation before he/she will schedule a trial.

4. WHAT IF WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT BEFORE FILING THE DIVORCE?

Then we would file your complaint for divorce and draft a judgment of divorce incorporating the terms of your agreement. A final hearing can be set in your case (to be held after the statutory waiting period has passed).

5. ARE WE ALLOWED TO USE ONE OF OUR ATTORNEYS AS A MEDIATOR?

Even if one of your attorneys is a domestic relations mediator, an attorney cannot represent one party in a divorce and assume the role as the mediator. Why? It is imperative that mediators be a neutral third party (meaning they do not know either party in the divorce action).

6. IS IT MANDATORY THAT BOTH MY SPOUSE AND I RETAIN OUR OWN ATTORNEY IN OUR DIVORCE ACTION?

No. There is no legal requirement that parties to a divorce be represented by an attorney. Even if one party has retained an attorney, the other party is not required to be represented and may represent themselves in court.

A GENTLER DIVORCE. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Laurie K. Schmitt, founder of Schmitt Law, PLLC, is an Attorney, Mediator, and Collaborative Divorce lawyer. When possible, she guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. Contact Laurie at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation to discuss the collaborative divorce process and how it can benefit you.

Is There Such A Thing As An “Easy” Divorce?

February 23, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

The divorce process is emotionally difficult for both you and your spouse. And the process can be made even more difficult if you and your spouse get in a mindset that you want to fight.

But, is there a way to make your divorce “easy”? The answer is yes you can make your divorce “easy”. If you and your spouse approach your divorce enter into your divorce with the right attitude, you can make the process smooth. The following are a few tips on how to make your divorce process “easy”.

COMMUNICATION

If you and your spouse effectively communicate and can have logical discussions about important decisions that must be made in your divorce, then you are well underway to a straightforward divorce.

AGREEMENTS

Before filing for divorce, you and your spouse should resolve all issues related to your marriage such as custody, parenting time, and division of assets. The more issues you and your spouse can resolve prior to filing for divorce, the easier your divorce process will be. By coming to agreement before the divorce filing, or shortly thereafter, you will save money on attorney’s fees and on your emotions.

EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT

Clearly, you and your spouse have an emotional investment in your divorce. And when you or your spouse allow your emotions to control your decision-making process, that’s when divorces become difficult, time consuming, and expensive. You and your spouse should do your best to prevent revenge or anger to dictate the negotiation process. With that in mind, you and your spouse can reach the final outcome of your divorce.

GOAL

The goal in your divorce should be for you and your spouse to reach a fair and equitable agreement, placing your children first. And hopefully, all done while maintaining some respect for each other. The sooner you and your spouse can get through the divorce process, the sooner you will be free to start your new life. The goal should always be to act in good faith, and reach your agreement as soon as possible. To summarize, an easy divorce is one where you and your spouse can quickly agree and resolve the terms of your divorce while maintaining civility towards the other.

GET HELP FINALIZING YOUR DIVORCE. GRAND RAPIDS DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Divorce in Michigan is a complicated procedure with long-term implications. It’s important to understand your rights and duties at each stage of the proceeding so that you will be in the best position to move forward during and after the divorce. Advice from an experienced divorce attorney can make all the difference in your outcome.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we work to ensure that our clients have the information and guidance they need to make the right decisions for their family and their future. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Will An Affair Affect My Divorce?

February 9, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Michigan is a no-fault state, meaning neither party is required to prove fault in order to be granted a divorce. That there are “irreconcilable differences” in your marriage is considered valid grounds for a divorce. Irreconcilable differences means that there has been a breakdown of the marriage relationship so that the objects of matrimony have been destroyed and there is no likelihood the marriage can be preserved. If you’re unhappy in your marriage, then irreconcilable differences are grounds enough for divorce. You don’t need to prove your spouse’s infidelity to end the marriage.

HOW CAN AN AFFAIR IMPACT MY DIVORCE?

As stated, Michigan is a no-fault state. But that does not mean that fault is irrelevant in a Michigan divorce. Misconduct in a marriage may affect the outcome of your divorce. Specific to an affair, if there has been an affair in the marriage, it may have an impact on the divorce. If an affair is the reason that you are getting divorced, you need to understand how it may be addressed during your divorce case.

PROPERTY DIVISION (DISSIPATION)

An affair may be addressed if it had a significant financial impact on the marriage. If a Michigan court must make a determination regarding division of assets, it will do so through equity. The court does not seek to punish the spouse who had the affair, but to equitably distribute the marital estate.

Therefore, if your spouse spent marital funds on a girlfriend/boyfriend (such as the purchase of large gifts, vacations, jewelry), the court may offset the marital estate by awarding you more to compensate the marital monies spent on the affair. This means that the property may not be divided equally; it’s divided in a way that is fair under the circumstances.

Note, that even though you would like to recover every penny your spouse spent on the affair, proving dissipation can be time-consuming and expensive. However, if you suspect your spouse of spending large sums on their affair, then it may be worth the time and expense of having your attorney review your spouse’s credit card bills and bank statements. If you wish to pursue recouping funds your spouse spent on an affair, contact Schmitt Law, PPLC to learn more about how we can help in this matter.

CHILDREN

Another way an affair may impact your divorce is if the affair has impeded your ability to appropriately care for your children. When a Michigan court makes a determination regarding custody and parenting time, they do so by reviewing the best interest factors. One of the best interest factors that the court can consider is moral fitness of the parties.

The primary goal of any judge is to provide for the best interest of the children. Therefore, decisions will be based on factors such as parents’ relationships with their children and their ability to provide for the children’s daily needs. While an affair may not affect these matters, ongoing issues that affect children’s well-being may be considered, such as a parent being more focused on a new romantic relationship than on caring for their children.

WRAPPING IT UP

With the advent of “no-fault” divorce, affairs no longer have significant impact on the outcome of your divorce. While you may feel better letting the world know your spouse cheated in your marriage, it generally doesn’t influence the judge’s final decision. So, if your spouse had an affair during your marriage, it will not be the smoking gun you hoped for. And a cheating spouse will not equate to you being awarded everything and your spouse being left with nothing after the divorce.

LET’S TALK

If you are separating from your partner and adultery has been involved, it is best to speak with a t family lawyer as soon as possible. You can have your immediate concerns addressed and move forward with some clarity about the process ahead of you.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we can answer your questions about divorce-related issues such as an affair, and we can provide you with legal representation to help you achieve your goals during your case. We invite you to contact us today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

Divorce

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