Issues Concerning Children

Violating The Terms of Your Custody Order

August 12, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

IT’S NOT VOLUNTARY TO FOLLOW THE TERMS OF A CUSTODY ORDER

No parent has the right to violate the term of their custody order. If you believe the terms of your custody order is no longer in the best interest of your child, then take action and ask the court to change the custody order. Ask the judge for relief before you make a unilateral decision to violate the terms of your custody order. It’s much easier to ask permission from the court then to beg for forgiveness of the court.

Just remember, judges do not look favorably at parents who take matters into their own hands and take actions that are contrary to their court orders. So, before you make decisions that conflict with the terms of your custody order, consider the consequences.

WHAT IS CONSIDERED A VIOLATION OF A CUSTODY ORDER?

Refusing to exchange the child on time.
Refusing the other parent their court awarded parenting time.
Refusing to return the child after your parenting time has ended.
Refusing to follow the rules of joint legal custody. If you share joint legal custody you must consult with the other parent and attempt to agree before major decisions are made affecting the minor child’s education, enrichment activities, camp, travel, and medical problems.
Taking action to prohibit the other parent from accessing school, psychological, dental, and medical records.
Any other action that contradicts specific terms of your custody order.

WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO ME IF I VIOLATE A CUSTODY ORDER

If you violate your custody order and are found in contempt of court, you would be subject to sanctions such as:

Being ordered to pay a fine to the court
Being ordered to give the other parent makeup parenting time
Jail

It the worst violations, or repeated violations, the court could consider a change in custody and/or parenting time.

WHAT IF THERE IS AN EMERGENCY THAT REQUIRES ME TO VIOLATE THE TERMS OF MY CUSTODY ORDER?

The court has a process to address true emergencies. They are called ex parte motions.

If an emergency has arisen, and you believe an immediate change in parenting time is required, then file an ex parte motion and request the judge for the specific relief that will temporarily protect the children. Filing an ex parte motion can be achieved quickly, so there is no need to violate your custody order. Once again, ask the court for relief before you violate the terms of your custody order, not after.

CUSTODY ATTORNEY

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.

The Importance of Preserving a Relationship With Your Former Spouse When There Are Children

July 20, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Can preserving a relationship with your former spouse even be accomplished? Yes, it can, and successfully.

Why is it important to preserve a relationship with your former spouse? So that you can raise emotionally healthy children.

How do I go about preserving a relationship with someone I divorced? After all, we are divorced for a reason. The following are common sense ideas on how and why you should preserve your relationship with your former spouse:

Would you really speak to someone at your dentist’s office the way you speak to your former spouse? Act as if you are interacting with someone in a business relationship – be cordial and polite. I didn’t say it’s required to respect your former spouse. But you can interact with them in an appropriate way.
Don’t let your former spouse push your buttons, nor should you push theirs. It’s true that there is no better person to know how to get us angry in a second. However, it will serve no greater good in the long run to engage in negative back-and-forth behavior. It’s time to move from the past and make a paradigm shift…that we need to be good people to raise good children.
Be a good role model for your children…yes, they are watching and listening to both of you.
Why must everything a battle? Learn to compromise.
Don’t let significant others or spouses get in the way of maintaining a positive relationship with your former spouse. It will benefit your current relationship if you reduce the friction with your former spouse. Who wants to go on date night and listen to you spend the entire evening complaining about your former spouse.
Yes, there will be different rules and lifestyles at your former spouse’s home then you may have at your home. Accept that you do not have control or influence on how your former spouse lives, nor how they raise the children during their parenting time.
Try and respect the decisions your former spouse makes regarding the children during their parenting time. If it benefits the children, then support the decision.

To summarize, if you maintain a civil relationship with your former spouse, the children will be the winners. It’s important to look into the future and know that children grow up and become adults. If you create a healthy relationship with your former spouse now while the children are young, there is a greater likelihood that your children will want both of you at their extracurricular events, their high school graduation, their college graduation, and their wedding.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent, and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

Child Custody – The Best Interest Factors

July 13, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Child custody and parenting time can be two of the most difficult issues to address for parents who are divorcing, or unmarried parents.

It’s important that parents understand that custody and parenting time decisions are determined by the judge. In making a ruling on custody and parenting time, the judge is concerned with what is in the best interest of the children, and will review the best interest factors.

The following are the best interest factors with sample questions under each factor. These questions will provide you with an idea of what the judge is reviewing under each factor.

1. The love, affection and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child. (A)

To whom is the child more closely bonded?
When the child has a problem, to whom does the child speak?
When the child has a triumph, to whom does the child speak?
Who spends more hours per day with the child?
Who prepares the child’s meals?
Who has the ability to separate the child’s needs from their own and to empathize with the child?
To whom does the child openly show signs
How does the child relate to each parent?

2. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any. (B)

Who bathes and dresses the child?
Who stays home from work when the child is sick?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in academic affairs?
Who takes responsibility for involvement in extracurricular activities?
Who disciplines the child?
Who uses preferable discipline techniques?
Who has preference because of the other’s verbal abuse, substance abuse, or arrest record?
Who has preference because of the ability to provide the child access to an?
extended family?
Who has been most consistent in the guidance of the child as it relates to their education and faith?

3. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care, and other material needs. (C)

Who buys the groceries, plans and cooks the meals?
Who makes purchases for the child?
Who attends to special needs of the child?
Who has greater earning capacity?Who adjusts working hours based on the needs of the child?
Who has certainty of future income?
Who has the ability to provide insurance for the child?
Who attends classes for professional involvement?
Who has requisite knowledge to meet the needs of the child?
Who has kept up vaccinations and daily hygiene?
Who schedules and takes the child to medical appointments?
Who schedules and takes the child to dental appointments?
Who arranges for and supervises child care?

4. The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity. (D)

Who has provided the greatest sense of stability of residence for the child?
Who is more likely to provide stability in the future?
Who can provide a safe environment?
Who can provide continuity of the child’s overall custodial environment?

5. The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes. (E)

In whose custody will the family unit not be split?

6. The moral fitness of the parties involved. (F)

Here, the focus is not to punish a parent. Rather, it is on the effect the parties’ behavior has had, or will continue to have on the child, and how the individual functions as a parent. For example:
Who has priority as a result of the other party having an extramarital affair known by the children?
Has either party engaged in any of the following conduct:
Verbal abuse
Drinking problem
Poor driving record
Physical or sexual abuse of the child
Other illegal or offensive behaviors.

7. The mental and physical health of the parties involved. (G)

Does either party have a physical or mental health problem that significantly interferes with the ability to safeguard the child’s health and well-being?
Age of contestant compared to age of the child—would energies of the child overwhelm the contestant?

8. The home, school, and community record of the child. (H)

Who can provide leadership to attend school?
Who can provide leadership in extracurricular activity participation?
Who is actively involved in school conferences, transportation, and attendance at school events?
Who can more adequately assist reducing the necessity for other agency involvement (the juvenile court, the DHS), or if another agency is involved, who can cooperate more fully?
Who can more adequately assure the child’s access to friends and peers useful for the child’s development?
Who can more adequately plan and supervise the child’s undertaking of home responsibilities that are appropriate to the child’s age and circumstances?
Who takes responsibility for completion of school assignments?

9. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference. (I)

This is relevant only if the child appears mature enough and capable of expressing with whom they prefer living, absent the product of manipulation or coercion.

10. The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent or the child and the parents. (J)

Who can best cooperate with an appropriate parenting time schedule by the other party? Who is least likely to disparage the other parent in the presence of the child based upon past performance?
Has either party actively sought to alienate the child from the other parent?

11. Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child. (K)

Have there been incidents of violence in the home by any party against any party? If so, has there been a police report, arrest or conviction? Has there been a pattern of violence whether reported or not reported?

12. Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child (L)

Who can most likely address the special needs of the child?
Has either parent threatened to kidnap the child?
Does either parent spend excessive time traveling for the child?
Does either parent have a record of failure to exercise parenting time, failure to notify, or failure to return the child?
Who has responsibility for the actual and proposed child care arrangements?

CUSTODY ATTORNEY

Child Support – The Most Frequently Asked Questions

June 10, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

One of the most asked about parenting issues is child support. Clients have many questions and misconceptions about how child support works in Michigan. The following are the some of the top questions clients ask when they meet with Schmitt Law, PLLC. For the purpose of this blog, each question contains a brief answer. However, there can be far more to the story! If you require more detailed answers, please contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to arrange for a consultation to discuss your specific case.

HOW IS CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATED IN MICHIGAN?

In Michigan, child support is calculated using the Michigan Child Support Formula. The Michigan Child Support Formula takes into consideration the following major factors: (1) both parents’ gross incomes, (2) the amount of overnights each parent exercises (3) the number of children to be supported (4) health care costs and (5) daycare costs. There are many other factors that can be taken into consideration in determining a party’s child support obligation. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC for more information about how your child support will be calculated.

WHAT IS CONSIDERED INCOME FOR THE PURPOSE OF CALCULATING CHILD SUPPORT?

Income includes all wages, overtime pay, commissions, bonuses, tips, royalties, interest, dividends, or other monies from all employers. Income also includes earnings from any business, profit sharing, pension or retirement, trust fund, unemployment, or disability insurance. There are many other items that are considered income for the purpose of calculating child support. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC for a detailed discussion about what Michigan considers income for the purpose of calculating your child support.

IF I HAVE A CHILD SUPPORT ARREARAGE, CAN I ASK IT TO BE WAIVED?

Neither the court nor Friend of the Court will waive an arrearage unless the parent receiving child support agrees to waive the arrearage. If the parent receiving child support agrees to waive a part or all of the arrearage, they can contact Friend of the Court and sign a document waiving part or all of the arrearage.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I FAIL TO PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATION?

If you fail to make your child support payments, Friend of the Court will take action to enforce the child support order. Some of the consequences for failure to pay support are that you can be held in contempt of court, your passport can be taken away, your driver’s license can be suspended, other business licenses can be suspended, and you can be sentenced to jail time.

WHEN DOES MY CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATION END?

In Michigan, child support ends when the child turns 18 years old. However, it can extend to 19.5 years old if the child is still attending high school and lives with the parent receiving the support.

CAN I STOP PAYING CHILD SUPPORT IF I AM BEING DENIED PARENTING TIME?

No! The payment of child support and parenting time are two separate legal matters. If you are not receiving your parenting time as stated in your parenting time order, you need to file a parenting time complaint with Friend of the Court or take action through the court to have your parenting time order enforced.

DO I HAVE A SAY AS TO HOW MY EX SPENDS THE CHILD SUPPORT?

No! There is no specific requirement outlining how the parent receiving child support spends the money. It is assumed that if the child is living with the parent receiving child support, the money is being used for housing, food, and clothing for the child. Child support is for the basic needs of the child, and the parent receiving support may spend the money as they deem appropriate.

DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS RELATED TO CHILD SUPPORT? GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY. CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC.

If you have questions about how your child support will be calculated, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC. We partner with our clients to find efficient, effective, and fair solutions. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or by calling (616) 608-4634 for a consultation today.

How To Prepare For a Custody Mediation

March 24, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

All family law cases are difficult. However, custody cases can be the most challenging for parents. Whether your case is a divorce, child custody, parenting time, or child support case, Mediation offers a less stressful option for couples.

In Mediation, the parties and their attorneys meet with a neutral third party who will assist you in coming to an agreement that is fair and equitable.

Before you attend Mediation, it is important for you and your attorney to prepare. It is also imperative that both the client and attorney have a shared understanding of what outcome the client desires through the Mediation process.

As this is a difficult time for the client, it is normal to have questions and concerns about the process and outcome. At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we sit down with every client prior to mediation and discuss our strategy. This allows us to be “on the same page” with the client when we attend Mediation.

The following is a checklist that Schmitt Law, PLLC reviews with all clients prior to attending a custody Mediation.

Make sure you have provided copies of all relevant documents to your attorney so that they can have the necessary documents available for mediation.
What type of legal custody are you seeking? Joint or sole?
What type of physical custody are you seeking? Joint or sole?
What parenting time schedule are you seeking? Does your work schedule allow you to exercise parenting time on the schedule you are seeking? Do you have daycare available if needed?
What holiday schedule are you seeking? The following are the major holidays that Schmitt Law, PLLC typically requests: New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Child’s birthday, Spring Break, Christmas break, Mother’s or Father’s Day, and any other day important to the client.
What type of telephone contact are you seeking? What days of the week, what time of the day, and for what length of time?
Who will provide transportation for pick up and return of the children?
Who will claim the child as a dependent under City, State and Federal Taxes?
What happens if one or both of the parties require a change in their parenting time schedule?

And through the mediation process, be sure to put your child’s needs first – prioritize what is best for the child, and what is best for their day-to-day routine. When you place the child first, much of the decisions to follow become easy to make.

Experienced Michigan Child Custody Attorney

Laurie Schmitt at Schmitt Law, PLLC is experienced in family law cases involving visitation and custody. Over the years, I have successfully represented hundreds of clients in complicated cases. For skilled legal guidance, please call Laurie at Schmitt Law, PLC at (616) 608-4634, or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Are The Rights of Unmarried Parents?

March 14, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

Common concerns for unmarried parents are custody, parenting time, and child support. If parents are not married, how do they go about establishing custody, parenting time, and child support? These issues are often complicated. But when parents are unmarried, establishing custody, parenting time, and child support can be even more problematic.

The first thing to know is that when a child is born out of wedlock, sole legal custody and sole physical custody is automatically awarded to the mother. This means the mother has complete authority to make all decisions regarding the child to include where the child will live, where the child will go to school, health care decisions, and extracurricular decisions.

The award of custody to the mother does not change until the father of the child takes action to establish his rights. In order for the father to establish custody, parenting time, and child support, parentage must be established.

Parentage can be established through an affidavit of parentage. This may be signed by the parties at the time of birth of the child, or any time afterwards.

If an affidavit of parentage was not signed, then the father must establish his rights to the child through a DNA test. Either party may file a petition to establish paternity (mother of child, someone identified as the father, or someone who believes he is the father).

The court then grants either party an order requiring the father, mother, and minor child to complete a DNA test. After a valid DNA test has been completed, and the results deem a specific man to the father, then the father can request the court to establish his rights to the child (custody, parenting time, and child support).

If the father does not believe a paternity test is necessary, then he must seek to have the court enter an order of filiation. An order of filiation is a court order declaring a man to be the biological father of a child born outside a marriage. Once an order of filiation has been entered by the court, the court now has jurisdiction to decide the matters of custody, parenting time, and child support on behalf of the father.

It is important to note that once the father is legally deemed the father of the child, he will now be financially responsible to provide for the child in the form of child support.

As the father of a child born outside of a marriage, it is critical to take action immediately. Each passing day means you and your child will not receive time together to establish an important parent-child bond. As the mother of a child born outside of marriage, each passing day means you and your child will not receive the financial support you deserve.

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS – WE CAN HELP

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. We know your legal issues are unique and special. Call us, we will listen. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

How Is Child Support Calculated In The State of Michigan?

March 4, 2022 By Laurie Schmitt

In the State of Michigan, child support is established reviewing several factors. These factors are entered into a software program, used to calculate who will pay support, and how much they will pay. The party paying support is known as the payor, and the party receiving support is known as the payee.

The following is a quick breakdown of the major factors used to calculate a child support obligation:

1. Income of the parties. The gross income of the parties is entered and the software program calculates the party’s net income (net income means all income minus the tax deductions). The list is much more comprehensive than what is included here. But, for the purpose of this blog it includes the most common types of income. Income includes wages, overtime pay, commissions, bonuses, tips, military specialty pay (to include allowances for quarters and rations). If one party owns a business, all earnings generated from a business are considered. And, any distributed profits or payments from profit-sharing, a pension or retirement are considered. In essence, if you earn it, it is considered income for the purpose of calculating child support.

2. Child Care Expense. The actual cost of child care is entered into the software program to allocate each parent’s percentage share of that obligation. The more child support being paid, the more child support that will be paid by the payor. The actual cost of child care must be documented and a form must be completed by the daycare provider.

3. Health Care Coverage Premiums. Is one or both parties paying for health insurance for the minor children? If so, that party is given credit in the software program for the amount being paid for the premium associated with the health care for the minor children (not the total premium: what they pay in total for themselves and the minor children).

4. Additional children from other relationships. If one party has children from another relationship (with someone other than the other parent in the case under consideration), then they are given a “second family” credit. These children must be living in that parent’s household or that parent must be paying child support for them in order to be given the second family credit.

5. Tax Credits. Who will be claiming the tax exemption credits for the minor children? This information is used in the software program as another factor in calculating the payor’s child support obligation.

6. The number of overnights each of the parties will be exercising. It is no secret that in the State of Michigan, the more overnights exercised by the payor, the less child support the payor will be required to pay.

As this subject matter is very complex, and this blog does not discuss all factors used to calculate child support, it is important to discuss this matter with a skilled family law attorney. For more information about child support, contact me, Laurie Schmitt, Attorney at Law, at Schmitt Law, PLLC, by calling 616-608-4634.

Raising Children As A Single Parent: From A Single Father’s Perspective

October 28, 2021 By Laurie Schmitt

I have had the opportunity and it has been a great pleasure getting to know a gentleman who is a single father of two now grown daughters. I will refer to him as John. I was taken with John’s story, and want to share his story as I believe a benefit can be found to other parents in knowing that you are not alone in your struggles as a single parent.

John has been divorced for several years. In the divorce, he was granted sole legal and physical custody of his two daughters. After the divorce, John’s former spouse became an absent parent, failing to have any contact with the parties’ daughters for over 10 years. John was left to raise and support his daughters on his own.

I am impressed with John’s ability to set aside any anger he may have harbored from the divorce to raise two very successful young women. The following is John’s story.

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How do you reconcile raising children on your own, receiving no assistance from the other parent, as they are absent in the children’s lives?

John stated that when you are a single parent, you take on the role of both parents. One of the challenges John discussed was that when you are going it alone, it’s about planning. You don’t have a partner to assist, so you need to be prepared and well organized. Shuttling children back and forth to the myriad of events they have requires planning.

Being a single parent can present its share of challenges. John had to address uncomfortable questions and issues that naturally arise in girls lives that would have been easier for a mother to address. Throughout their young lives, John’s girls lacked the ability to gain the female perspective. When his girls wanted to attend homecoming, he had to take on the role of mom and go dress shopping! But John did the best and pushed through his girls’ childhood events, wearing the hat of both parents. John also thanked his family, stating that he relied on his family to get him through some tough times.

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John also discussed the financial struggles that come from being a single parent. John received no financial assistance from his former spouse. John and his daughters went from living an upper middle-class life to a very different lifestyle after the divorce. John reflected on the fact that when he and his wife were married, they had the children in extra-curricular activities. After the divorce, money was tight. However, he knew the importance of these activities in the children’s lives, and wanted to do everything he could to make sure the children had the same experiences they had during the marriage. John stated that he swallowed his pride and asked people to reduce their enrollment fees so that the girls could continue with their extracurricular activities. John was happy when people came through, going above and beyond to work with him to ensure his daughters could continue to participate. John stated there are times you just have to ask, and people will help.

How do you set aside whatever anger or disappointment you have with the failed marriage/relationship, or with the perceived transgressions the other party may have made against you to allow the children to have a relationship with the other parent, if and when the decide to do so?

John stated that the failure of the relationship was not the children’s fault. John has always put the children’s needs first. John told me that you have to ask yourself from the moment the marriage ends what can I do to make my children’s lives the best that it can be.

John believes that children grow up and make decisions on their own. However, if they are raised with a specific narrative such as the other parent is bad, a deadbeat, didn’t want you, doesn’t care about you, they have a difficult time moving past years of disparaging remarks to develop a relationship with the other parent. John wanted to leave it open for the children to make their own decisions about what (if any) relationship thy would have with their mother.

John stated that your entire focus needs to remain on the children; you need to put the children first. And you need to realize that the sacrifices you make now will pay off when you see your children be successful and happy.

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How did you raise the children so that they are free from guilt to have a relationship with the other parent?

John stated that he left the door open for his children; and kept an avenue open for his former spouse to approach the children. No matter what happened in the divorce, his former spouse was still the mother of these two girls, and would always be their parent. He never disparaged his former spouse to the children, nor did he force the girls to contact her. He assumed that when his former spouse was ready to resume a relationship with the girls, she would step forward.

John knew that he could not erase years of anger and disappointment he may have felt because his former spouse failed to take any role in the children’s lives. But John knew that he could smooth it over for his daughters, wanting the best for his daughters. John knew that he would have to compartmentalize his feelings about the divorce and the lack of assistance he received from his former spouse for the sake of raising happy children.

John summarized that raising two girls on his own was life altering for him and his daughters, and that the changes to their lives was immeasurable. Good news…after ten years, John’s former spouse has now reconciled with their daughters, and is working to rebuild a relationship with them. John’s daughters are now grown, married and have started families of their own. John and his former spouse, realizing the importance of family, have worked through their issues and are able to hold and attend family functions together with their adult daughters and their families.

I wanted to share John’s story so that you would know you are not alone in this endeavor and that you can successfully raise healthy and happy children as a single parent.

For assistance with your divorce, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC to schedule an appointment.

Issues Concerning Children

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