Issues Concerning Children

Will Your Job Stop You From Getting 50/50 Parenting Time?

June 15, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

You’re getting a divorce. You come to Schmitt Law, PLLC for a consultation. The first issue you discuss is parenting time. And the first thing you state is that you want a 50/50 parenting time schedule. The next question to you is what are your hours of employment and what days do you work? You state you work either long hours each day, 7 days a week, varied hours, third shift, or start at 5:00 in the morning.

The best time to find out you have an obstacle to obtaining a 50/50 parenting time schedule is at the start of your divorce. Consider this your transition period. When you are married, you each take on specific roles at the house and with your children. Now that you will be single, you need to be honest with yourself and take a look at the reality of your request for a 50/50 parenting time schedule. Are your hours of employment compatible with exercising a 50/50 parenting time schedule? If not, what do you do now?

While you are just the beginning of your divorce, now is the time to review if your employment will conflict with your end goal of 50/50 parenting time schedule. If you really want to exercise a 50/50 parenting time schedule, you need to ask yourself what changes you are willing to make to be awarded a 50/50 parenting time schedule. Now is the time to look at your options and see what you can do to accommodate at 50/50 parenting time schedule. Ask yourself:

Will your employer allow you to move to another shift?
Can you make yourself available to get your children to and from school?
Or, what arrangements can you make to ensure your children will get to and from school when you are at work?
Can you move your days around at work to make yourself available to your children?
Should you look for another job?

The biggest question to ask yourself is are you able to be home in the evening to take care of your children – to feed them, do homework with them, and get them ready for bed? If not, it is not likely you will be granted a 50/50 parenting time schedule.

However, you have time to review your options and make adjustments to your employment so that you are able to take care of your children and obtain your goal of the 50/50 parenting time schedule.

CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY. GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Custody is a sensitive topic in divorce cases. Child custody mediation will put your child first and set you up for a healthy co-parenting relationship. With an experienced attorney and mediator like Laurie Schmitt, you will be able to navigate your new family dynamic with clear understanding and communication. Looking for a professional and experienced family law attorney, contact us online or give us a call at (616) 608-4634. Our office is located at 401 Hall Street SW, Suite 112D, Grand Rapids, MI 49503. At Schmitt Law, PLLC our commitment is to you!

Can My Ex Buy Cell Phones For Our Child?

April 27, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

What happens when your ex buys cell phones for your child and you don’t agree with that decision? And you don’t agree with the child possessing and using the cell phone during your parenting time. What can you do?

IS IT A JOINT LEGAL DECISION OR NOT?

WHAT THE COURTS SAY

The Michigan courts are not settled in their opinions about whether or not a child having a cell phone is a joint legal decision. Some judges believe that it is a joint legal decision, due to the inherent risks posed due to the access to the internet and social media. Conversely, other judges believe it is not, that it is a routine decision allowing for parental discretion while a child is in their care.

ROUTINE DECISION

If the court believe that the purchase of a cell phone is a routine decision, then your ex would have parental discretion over the use, restriction, or possession of that cell phone while your child is in their care. Therefore, your ex can purchase a cell phone for your child and allow them to use it during their parenting time.

BUT IT IS STILL YOUR DISCRETION

However, this doesn’t mean your ex can require you allow your child use of the cell phone when your child is at your house. It is within your discretion to prohibit the phone’s use during your parenting time (just like you having the ability to limit screen time or ground your child from a devise as a punishment). This means your ex can’t force you to allow your child use of the cell phone during your parenting time, as access to a cell phone during parenting time is a routine parenting decision that is within your discretion.

The general rule is “It’s your house – your rules, and their house – their rules”.

TRANSPORT OF THE CELL PHONE TO YOUR HOUSE

WHAT THE COURT SAYS

But what happens when your ex allows your child to transport the cell phone to your home during your parenting time? Some judges have ruled that the cell phone will not be transported with the child to the other parent’s home. Why? Because you shouldn’t be responsible for a lost or stolen phone and your ex expecting you to pay for a new cell phone.

But now you become the bad guy with your child. If you never agreed to the purchase of the cell phone in the first place, this puts you in the position of either taking the cell phone away when your child arrives at your home or having to restrict your child’s use of the cell phone. Inform your ex that the cell phone can’t be transported with the child.

And you don’t want to be put in the position of micromanaging your child’s use: social media, the internet, who they may be talking to, or texting. Most likely, this was the very reason you did not want your child having a cell phone – the concern about what your child is accessing on that cell phone. And perhaps you believe your child is too young to have a cell phone, and that there is no legitimate reason for your child to need a cell phone.

WE CAN HELP! GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We know your legal issues are unique and special. If you are having a post-divorce issue related to your children’s use of cell phone, the internet, or social media, call us, we will listen. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

What Happens When We Don’t Agree On Extra-Curricular Activities For The Children?

April 24, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Does your judgment of divorce contain provisions regarding the terms of extra-curricular activities for the children? Does it define who will pay for the extra-curricular activities? Does it state how many extra-curricular activities the children may participate in at one time? Does it specifically state what activities the children may participate in? If so, your judgment of divorce controls. If not, now what?

Extra Curricular Activities and Children

HOW DO COURTS DECIDE DISPUTES

Courts look to the best interest of the children when evaluating extra-curricular activity disputes between parents.

COMMON QUESTIONS

The following are some of the top questions of clients regarding extra-curricular activities and the possible rulings judges may make:

Question: Can my ex unilaterally enroll the children in extra-curricular activities?

Possible Ruling: Some judges say that if your ex enrolls your child in an extra-curricular activity without seeking your permission, the activity must be on your ex’s parenting time. The general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: Does your ex expect you to pay for an extra-curricular activity that you did not agree to?

Possible Ruling: Judges may rule that your ex would remain solely responsible for enrollment fees/costs. Once again, the general rule is “Their dime – their time.”

Question: What if you and your ex can’t agree on extra-curricular activities for your child?

Possible Ruling: When you and your ex can’t agree to extra-curricular activities for your child, judges may rule that you each will rotate with enrollment choices. This means that this quarter you get to select the extra-curricular activity and next quarter your ex gets to select. Also, the judge would consider how long the child has been involved in a specific extra-curricular activity. Judges will typically say that if the child has been involved in an activity in the past (or while you were married), they will remain enrolled in that activity.

Question: Does the extra-curricular activity impact your ability to have meaningful parenting time with your children?

Possible Ruling: Judges have also ruled that there will be a limit the number of activities a child can participate in at one time. The premise is that your child shouldn’t be enrolled in so many activities that it negatively impacts you or your ex’s parenting time. The child’s extra-curricular activity should enhance their lives, not keep them constantly on the run.

Question: Who is responsible for transportation to and from the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: If you and your ex agreed to the activity, you will be responsible for transportation during your parenting time. If there was no agreement, it is likely your ex will be solely responsible for transportation.

Question: What happens if my ex refuses to take our child to the extra-curricular activity?

Possible Ruling: Judges have gone different directions on this issue. Some judges will not require a parent to take the child to the extra-curricular activity during their parenting time, while other judges will require parents to do so.

VALUE IN EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Participation in extra-curricular activities is good for children as it builds self-esteem, teaches them how to be a part of a team, helps them make friends that share in common interests, and teaches them about winning and losing. And if your child excels in a particular extra-curricular activity, it could mean a college scholarship. So, even if you didn’t agree to your child participating in an extra-curricular activity, and it lands on your parenting time, there may be value in allowing them to participate versus fighting with your ex about it.

Disclaimer: Many of the answers to the above questions are judge dependent. The true answer is “It just depends” on your specific judge. The outcome to all extra-curricular activity disputes can be very different based on your judge. If you’re having issues with your ex related to extra-curricular activities for your children, call Schmitt Law, PLLC to see how we can assist.

AN ATTORNEY WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, our clients benefit from years of experience. We treat every client as an individual, taking the time to understand your unique situation, so as to best advise you on the steps you should take. Whatever stage your life is at, you can trust Schmitt Law, PLLC to guide you through the legal process with expertise and compassion, because we understand that family comes first. Contact Schmitt Law, PLLC today by completing our online contact form, or calling us at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation.

How Should You Act During Your Custody Case?

April 10, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

CUSTODY AND THE COMMON-SENSE RULES.

You’re in the midst of a custody case, and suspect it may turn into a battle. Or your case has taken a turn for the worse, and everything you say and do seems to get back to the judge. What should you do?

Ask yourself “What type of parent am I”? Will the judge conclude you are a good parent when they look at the evidence? Do your decisions reflect a parent that puts the needs of their children ahead of themselves? It’s important to understand that your day-to-day decisions will be scrutinized by the judge when your case goes to trial.

WHAT JUDGES REVIEW IN A CUSTODY CASE

Judges are concerned with your moral character, and your ability to make good decisions as a parent. Judges make custody determinations based off evidence presented in court. The following are tips to win your custody case:

STAY ACTIVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN’S EDUCATION. Attend all parent/teacher conferences. Stay in contact with the teachers (through email, telephone or in person). Address issues your children are having in school. Make it important to attend all extra-curricular and school activities of your children. It’s all about making your children’s education important.
OBTAIN COUNSELING FOR YOUR CHILDREN, IF NECESSARY. Each child copes with divorce and change in their own way. Children benefit from having a neutral third party they can talk to and need a safe place to express their feelings. Children feel your anxiety and frustration. So, pay attention to their mental health needs.
NO DATING. Dating while divorcing shows the court you’re placing your emotional needs ahead of your children’s needs, and shows poor judgment on your part.
IF YOU MUST DATE. And if you must date, don’t introduce your children to your significant other, or have your significant other spend the night when you have custody of your children. Be mindful that your children are struggling emotionally with the breakup of their family. And if this relationship extends past the divorce, an introduction can take place after the divorce.
DATING…CONTINUED. If you were never married to the other parent and are in the middle of a custody battle, having multiple new people in and out of the children’s lives is not healthy or appropriate. So, stop doing it, or don’t start it!
NO OVERNIGHTS. Unless you need to spend the night away for business purposes, refrain from spending the night away from home. And be prepared to document these trips as business trips. Staying the night away from home can show your needs come before your children’s needs. And, even if they are business trips, it can be misconstrued as a possible affair.
JUST STOP! Don’t engage in name calling, arguing, or use of foul language with your ex while in front of your children. Your children are already conflicted, and don’t benefit by seeing you act badly towards your ex. These behaviors show a lack of discretion and places your children on the front line of the war.
NO FIGHTING AT EXCHANGES. You and your ex are there to exchange the children, not engage in battle with the other parent. If you’re having issues with the other parent’s behavior at exchanges, you may want to document the exchanges via video
TAKE THE BATTLE OUT OF IT. Don’t engage in text/email wars. Anything you put in writing can and will show up in court. Make sure that your communications are necessary and relevant regarding your children. If you send it, the judge may read it. So, take a moment before you hit the “send” button. Ask yourself, “do I want the judge to see this”?
NO BAD TALK. When the children are with you, focus your activities around them. Don’t spend your quality time with your children disparaging your ex. It just puts your children in the middle.
RELIGION. If you’ve always attended church with the children, continue to do so. However, if you and the children have no real religious history prior to the custody case, don’t manufacture an interest in religion to make yourself look better to the court.
DO YOU WANT A PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDER FILED AGAINST YOU? Don’t stalk, harass, or repeatedly call the ex. It may cause your mental health and character may be called into question by the judge. And worse yet, you may find yourself receiving a PPO.
NO ILLEGAL ACTIVITY OR ARRESTS. If you can’t refrain from participating in illegal activity or getting arrested during a custody case, you will not be awarded custody.
DON’T DRIVE WITHOUT A LICENSE. If your license has been revoked or suspended, don’t drive with your children in the car. Doing so shows complete disregard for the law.
DRUGS/ALCOHOL: If there are allegations of drug use and excessive drinking, then you need to stop. Nothing worse than failing a court ordered drug or alcohol test.
ARE YOUR ACTIVITIES BEING DOCUMENTED. It’s not uncommon for private investigators to be hired in custody cases. Who knows your habits better than your ex? And what better way to make you look bad than to get video footage of you drunk at the bar. So, refrain from going to bars during your custody case.

CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY. GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

Custody is a sensitive topic in divorce cases. Child custody mediation will put your child first and set you up for a healthy co-parenting relationship. With an experienced attorney and mediator like Laurie Schmitt, you will be able to navigate your new family dynamic with clear understanding and communication. Looking for a professional and experienced family law attorney, contact us online or give us a call at (616) 608-4634. At Schmitt Law, PLLC our commitment is to you!

Why Didn’t I Receive The Result In My Custody Case That I Expected?

April 3, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Custody cases are the most difficult of family law cases to litigate. If you are about to be, or are currently involved in a custody case, you should review this list. It may prevent you from finding yourself in a position of asking yourself why you didn’t receive the result you expected in your custody case.

I didn’t follow the guidelines of my attorney. It’s likely early in your professional relationship with your attorney there were discussions about what was expected from you. If you failed to follow those guidelines, it may have been a contributory factor in not being awarded the parenting time or custody you were seeking.
My communication with the other parent was harassing and/or off topic from issues related to the children. This is a simple rule to follow: while in the midst of a custody case, keep your communication with the other parent about the children. This means do not discuss the history of your relationship, what lead to the breakdown of your relationship, what angers you about the other parent, or make any derogatory statements to the other parent through your communication. Negative communication to the other parent can constitute harassment, it is unnecessary, and will not assist you in achieving your goals as a parent. And assume that all communications with the other parent will be shared with the judge.
I refused to stop drinking and/or using drugs. When a Michigan court makes a determination regarding custody and parenting time, they do so by reviewing the best interest factors. And one of the best interest factors is related to alcohol and drug use. An ongoing substance abuse or alcohol issue can be viewed by a judge as an impediment on your ability to appropriately care for your children.
I refused to address my anger issues. If domestic violence was an issue in your relationship with the other parent (or with any other significant other), you may want to seek professional assistance. Once again, a domestic violence issue is yet another best interest factor that will be heavily weighed by the judge in their final decision regarding custody and parenting time.
My expectations were not realistic from the start of the case. At your first consultation, it’s important to share your expectations with your attorney. And, it’s equally important for your attorney to inform you if your expectations are realistic. Client disappointments happen when clients want more than they can receive from the judge, and when attorneys overpromise.

LET ME WORRY ABOUT WHAT MATTERS MOST … YOUR FUTURE WITH YOUR FAMILY. GRAND RAPIDS CUSTODY ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

The hallmark of my family law practice is providing you with top quality legal service, and by being intensely responsive to my clients. I will work hard to protect your future with your children. I will help you to secure the best possible outcome in your custody case, by giving you your strongest voice in the family law process. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC online or call (616) 608-4634.

Should My Kids Be On Social Media?

March 30, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Should you allow your kids to be using social media platforms and allowing your children to publicly document their entire childhood? This article will share how allowing your children to be on social media platforms can harm your custody case, and how judges approach this subject.

HOW JUDGES LOOK AT CHILDREN’S USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

Judges often take the position that is shows poor judgment when parents allow their children to be on social media platforms. Judges also believe allowing children to be on social media platforms is inappropriate.

Note, that if you allow your children to be on a social media platform, it can be used against you in a custody case. Why?

In the State of Michigan, providing appropriate guidance for your children is one of the best interest factors judges review to make a determination regarding custody and parenting time. Judges take the position that allowing your child to be on social media can be evidence that you are not providing appropriate guidance for your children.

Additionally, judges believe allowing children to be on social media platforms can speak to your home environment. And a parent’s home environment is yet another best interest factor judges review in making their final decision on custody.

TERMS OF SERVICE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

As a parent you need to understand the terms of service for each social media platform your children may be using. What is the minimum age for each platform? Judges do not take it lightly when parents allow their child to be on social media platform when they are too young to legally be on the platforms.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA CAN HARM YOUR CHILD AS AN ADULT

Judges also believe your children can suffer long term consequences for statements made on social media platforms. Anything your children post on social media platforms can remain there forever. These posts can have significant impact your children as they become adults looking to get into college, looking for that scholarship, and looking for the first job.

REAL LIFE STORY

A story shared by a judge at a conference went as follows: the child was accepted to college on a full athletic scholarship. When the college did a background check on the child’s use of social media, they found comments they did not approve of.

These comments were made when the child was in high school. Yet, those comments were used against the child as the college rescinded this child’s athletic scholarship and admission into college.

To conclude, if you are in a custody battle, you need to think twice about allowing your children to be active on social media platforms. Of course, if your children are on social media platforms and how it can impact your case is dependent on your judge’s personal perspective, and can vary from judge to judge.

CONTACT SCHMITT LAW, PLLC FOR LEGAL ADVICE ON CUSTODY. GRAND RAPIDS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

If you are concerned about your children being on social media platforms while at the ex’s house, Schmitt Law, PLLC. We’ll help you pursue the best outcome in your family law dispute. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.

Is It Best To Delay Our Divorce Until Our Children Are Grown?

March 9, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

Potential clients come into the office seeking legal advice regarding a divorce. At times, I hear that maybe it’s best they wait until their children are grown before they divorce. These parents justify their position to wait and stay married until the children are grown for many reasons, as follows:

They can avoid the custody battle that they are sure will take place
They will be able to provide the children a more stable environment if they stay married
They will not have to uproot the children from the only home they have ever known
They will not have to relocate the children to a new school

It’s admirable to put your children’s needs first when it comes to a divorce. However, are you making the right decision when you decide to stay in an unhappy or dysfunctional marriage until your children are grown? The truth is that while divorce does impact your children, it’s how you and your spouse handle yourselves during the divorce that matters. How well your children get through the changes depends on how well you help them through the process. What can you do to help your children through your divorce:

You can eliminate the conflict with your ex (at least while in the presence of your children)
To the best of your ability, keep your children’s schedules and routines the same as it was while you were married
Make sure that the children know you and your spouse love them and that they were not the reason for your divorce
Promote with your children that it is alright to love both you and your ex.
Address your anger and frustration with the divorce and your ex. Your children learn from your actions, and parrot back your behaviors.

There never is a perfect time to divorce. However, if you stay in your marriage, are you and your spouse able to provide the children with an emotionally safe and stable environment? Or, do you and your spouse argue, fight, or worse yet engage in the silent treatment with each other – all in ear shot of the children? When you are trying to decide to divorce verses stay married, you need to look at all of the circumstances and weigh the good against the bad.

How your children handle your divorce depends on how well you and your spouse work together towards a positive outcome in your divorce. What you decide to do will depend on your specific circumstances. Children are resilient. And perhaps what’s best is to provide them with two happy homes verses one filled with anxiety.

GRAND RAPIDS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

We understand that filing for divorce can be an emotional and confusing experience. That’s why we are committed to providing personalized service to each client we represent and will be with you through this difficult journey. At Schmitt Law, PLLC we encourage clients to take a more collaborative approach to divorce that promotes positive communication and cooperation. Through mediation or the collaborative divorce process, Laurie guides her clients through amicable divorce settlements so they can move forward with their life. To discuss your circumstances and legal options, contact Schmitt Law, PLLC at (616) 608-4634 to schedule a consultation. Or contact us online to arrange a consultation.

What Not To Do If You Are In A Custody Battle

January 31, 2023 By Laurie Schmitt

It’s a commonplace when you’re fighting for your rights as a parent to have anger and resentment against the other parent. You feel you are being kept away from your child. You feel that everything you do is being held against you. You feel that you are living under a microscope. And most of all, you are scared that you may not be awarded the time you deserve with your child.

Many parents struggle with the feelings you may be going through. However, if you are in a custody battle, the worst thing you can do it let the other parent lure you into making bad decisions that will haunt you. The decisions you make now, may be the very decisions the judge uses against you when they rule on legal and physical custody of your child.

WHAT BAD DECISIONS SHOULD YOU PREVENT?

Don’t take the bait! If you are fighting for your rights as a parent, the following is a short list of behaviors to steer clear of:

Do not send foul emails or texts to the to the other parent. Two easy rules to remember: (1) communicate effectively with the other parent, or not at all. (2) Always say to yourself, “do I want the judge seeing this text or email?”. If it’s in writing, it may be used against you in court!
Don’t use your emotions to justify your bad behavior against the other parent. Because the other parent is acting badly does not mean that you need to respond in kind. There are only so many times your attorney can smooth things over with opposing counsel or the judge before all credibility is lost.
Don’t respond to negative communication. If communication from the other parent does not justify a response, or elicits a negative response from you, then do not respond. If a response is required, then take a step back and respond when you are able to do so appropriately.

ARE YOUR EMOTIONS RUNNING WILD?

Perhaps you should seek counseling or join a support group to help you through this. There is no shame in seeking help from a professional (or getting together in a support group with people going through similar matters). They can help you process and manage your feelings, and manage how you respond to her. The key is when you are upset, say nothing to the other parent. You can respond to them when you see fit (if at all). If your communication to them is filled with anger, and much of it is unnecessary (off topic from your child), then seek help.

Note…the judge will take into consideration how you communicate with the other parent when it comes to their decision about legal custody. How do you want the judge to view you…a good parent who loves their child…or an angry parent seeking revenge.

DOES YOUR BEHAVIOR REQUIRE MODIFICATION?

This question can only be answered by you looking deep within.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, I want to be effective as your attorney. And to be effective, Schmitt Law, PLLC expects parents to be respectful and appropriate with the other parent. If you are not willing to modify how you address the other parent, I will be completely ineffective in helping you achieve your goals. It is your choice how your custody case moves forward. If you keep in front of you what is really important…your child and your time with them…it would never be a struggle or burden to modify inappropriate behavior. Schmitt Law, PLLC will do my part to fight for you. But what I ask in return is appropriate behavior from my clients.

GRAND RAPIDS CUSTODY ATTORNEY SERVING KENT, OTTAWA, AND ALLEGAN COUNTY.

At Schmitt Law, PLLC, we help parents work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your children. Through mediation, collaboration, or litigation, if necessary, our knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney will be your advocate and help you through this difficult time. To schedule a consultation or learn more about our services, contact us online or call (616) 608-4634.

Issues Concerning Children

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